Friday, May 27, 2011

A bad date and anesthesiology, thankfully not at the same time

Elijah and I went on a date today. Unfortunately it did not go very well. Halfway through the movie, he started screaming and hitting. The entire rest of the day involved similar behavior. Ugh.

I got a call from Dr. A today, the anesthesiologist we requested for E's heart surgery. He was calling to tell me that he wouldn't be able to be his doctor that day. :( Holding back major tears, I told him not to worry about it. He told me, "I totally know who Elijah is, and I know who you are, and I want to be there for you that day. I hope you understand.." I do. But I'm sad. The airway issue is a big one this time, and having an anesthesiologist that we have the utmost confidence in is important. Really, though, we've never had a bad, or even just a good, anesthesiologist. They've all been great. No, excellent! I know whoever we get assigned to on June 10th will take very good care of Elijah.

I started to tell Dr. A why we were so concerned with anesthesiology this time. He stopped me and said, "Oh, yeah, I know about his airway issues. In fact, I've already talked to Dr. K twice about Elijah. The anesthesia team will form a solid plan and they will talk to the intensivists in depth, along with Dr. K himself. Elijah will be well taken care of." Tears were flowing at this point, but I managed to say, "I just want you to know how much we have appreciated the amazing care you have given to our little boy. You have always made us feel comfortable and we absolutely love you.." He appreciated that, and I meant it.

I'm sad. But I know things will work out as they are supposed to. I'm just glad we have such caring, intelligent people taking care of our boy.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


I'm thinking our Elijah needs a little extra love these days. He WOULD NOT LET GO OF MY NECK today when I picked him up from daycare. He kept calling me "Superman" and asking me to "save" and "rec-scue" him. He has been a little extra naughty for the past few weeks, hitting, kicking and talking back a lot. It is so easy to get caught up in the frustration, but Dan and I have agreed that he just needs LOVE. We are going to start doing "date nights" with him and let him know individually how much we love him. Hopefully that helps a bit. His teacher even emailed me today, saying that he has been "screaming" at all of his teachers when they ask him to complete a task. This is just not our typical Elijah, so we need to get to the bottom of this. Especially before the trauma of surgery arrives. I hope that boy knows how intensely he is loved!

My two boys are in bed, my husband is on his way home and I am going to go photograph some food before sleep-time. Good night, everyone! Thanks for checking in!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Rainy days

What's going on in that little head, do you think?

I think I caught him mid-cough.

Sammy has a new skill! He can clap! Any time he hears music, he smiles and starts clapping. It is the absolute cutest thing.

Yesterday morning we were feeling a little stir crazy at home since it had been raining off and on for a lot of the weekend. The boys and I did one of our favorite rainy-day activities. We went to the play area at the mall early, before the mall stores opened and before two hundred other kids showed up.

Elijah was a blur, running around and around and yelling, "IIiiiiii wwwwuuuuunnnnnninnnnnggggg!" Sometimes I want to call Dr. G and say, "Are you SURE he needs surgery??"

In order to get a picture of Sam I had to set him down and RUN away from him to take his picture quick before he crawled back to me. We had the entire area to ourselves and where did he want to spend his time? In my arms. And that is not a complaint. :)

There were no bullies in the vicinity, and I was happy about that.

Dan was able to spend half of Saturday at home and the other half of Sunday at home due to the crazy weather. How sad that I pray for terrible weather on the weekends so we can have him with us!

I want to share a quick funny before I sign off. Since Elijah was born, he has always had such a chubby, juicy little neck. It's the best. He even calls his neck "juicy neck" because he hears me say it so much. "Mama, pwease come tickle mine juicy neck!" So, the other day we received Dr. K's dictation from E's most recent pulmonology visit, and Dan and I both laughed very hard when we saw "Neck: Is supple" written in the report. Yes it is! Love it!

I'm embarrassed to admit what it is that I'm really excited for tonight, but if you're excited, too, you know what I'm talking about. :) Enjoy your evening, secret activity or not!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Park bullies

Today we had a little experience at the park that left me shaking. After we got home safe and sound and once Elijah and Sammy were buckled in their chairs and eating dinner, I retreated into the bathroom to cry for a few minutes.

We were at the park, swinging. I was pushing both boys and they were giggling and having a great time. There were four or five older kids playing on the playground equipment pretty roughly with one another, so I was hoping Elijah wouldn't ask to go down the slide. Just as I had that thought, I saw a little boy (about 7 or 8 years old) tackle a girl (about 6) to the ground and put her in a choke hold. Hmmmmm. I had the thought that maybe they were siblings and if that was the case I would give him a pass. A few minutes later, though, I heard this same kid ask the same little girl how old she was. Ok, so they didn't even know each other. Red flag.

Elijah said, "I want to go down big green slide!" Oh boy. "Ok, sweetie, let's go quick." I got E out of his swing and he ran over to the playground and crawled up to the slide, in between kids darting past him. I grabbed Sam and we stood just below where Elijah was sitting at the top of the slide. I encouraged him to come down, but I knew that with all the kids around, he would hesitate. And he hesitated. A few minutes went by and one of the kids came up to him RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and pushed him in the chest. HIS CHEST. His chest. Do not touch my boy's chest. It wasn't a hard push, but enough that I said, "HEY! EXCUSE ME! THAT IS NOT OK!" The three boys that were up with Elijah looked down at me like I was crazy. I said, "Where do you guys live?" One of the boys said, "Don't you wish you knew!" Wow. I said, "Nice respect, guys. Elijah, come down right now."

Of course it is not ever ok to tell Elijah to promptly perform a task that causes him anxiety. So, with Sam in my arms, I ran up the equipment and grabbed Elijah with my free arm. Meanwhile, Bully #2 was crawling up the slide so that we couldn't go down it. This is when I realized that I was being bullied by a 7-year-old. Awesome. I put Elijah on my lap and the three of us went down the slide, just missing hitting the bully (wouldn't have cared if I would have hit him). Elijah had NO IDEA that anything was amiss (aside from the chest shove), and wanted to "pway wif kids!" I pulled on his sweet little arm until we reached our stroller. He fought me the whole way, not understanding what was going on. When we got home I explained to him that I wasn't upset with him, but that those kids weren't being very nice. He gave me such a surprised look, like, Really?! I wanted to play with them!

Once we were home, I kept thinking of what I should have done differently. Should I have called the police? Should I have demanded that they tell me where they lived? Should I have stayed and followed them home? I don't know what I should have done, but in the moment I felt threatened by three young boys and wanted nothing but safety. I am in disbelief that such young people were so incredibly disrespectful and mean. It makes me sad for what my boys may have to face. I hope you all understand where I'm coming from when I say this, but...I especially worry about Elijah.

We hear all the time about bullying and how terribly out of control it has gotten. It's such a heartbreaking thing. Just another thing for this mama to worry about!

And by the way, I hope next time Dan is with us at the park when we see those kids (that's my second wish, next to never seeing them again). Hopefully the mean teacher in him will come out and he'll put a little fear in their heads.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Shedding sickness

In case you're wondering, never EVER wonder out loud why you haven't caught the bug that has been running through your childrens' daycare. 'Cause guess what? You will catch the bug that has been running through your childrens' daycare. I was in quite a bit of discomfort for about 36 hours this week. I did a lot of resting during that time, which apparently my body needed.

Enough about sickness. Let's talk about the beautiful weather! Ohhhh, it has been so gorgeous this week. FINALLY. We have been taking daily trips to the park and it is Elijah's absolute most favorite part of the day. When we wake up in the morning: "Mommy, can we go green park?" And when I pick him up from daycare: "We go to green park now??" He is so proud of himself because he can finally go down the big green twisty slide ALL BY HIMSELF. This is a pretty big deal for our cautious Elijah. I'm so proud of him and I love seeing his happy, excited face.

Sammy has an intense love for anything resembling a ball. He can spot a ball from a block away. "BAAA! BAAA!" When he gets a hold of it, he tosses it up in the air and watches it fall in front of him. Repeat a dozen times. Elijah never cared for balls, so this is new for us and it is so stinkin' cute. And Sam, oh Sam, he still just loves to be in Mama's (or Daddy's) arms ALL THE TIME. He certainly loves human touch!

One quick cute/sweet Elijah thing and then I'll sign off. Enjoy the weekend, everyone!

I usually go into Elijah's room at least once during the night because he has either had a bad dream or he wants a sip of water or he just wants to show us who is in charge. :) At 2:00 this morning I heard him say, "I WANT MOMMY!" I went in and asked if he was ok. He said, "Yeah. Mom, pwease scwatch mine hair." Awwwwww! He wanted me to run my fingers through his hair like I do all the time when he is falling asleep. So of course I did.

I love my boys.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


One of the things I've learned in the past few weeks is that when you really really really don't want a specific date to arrive, it comes very quickly! Elijah's surgery is in just over three weeks (not that I'm counting), and I'll be honest...most of the time I am not dealing with that very well. I often sit down to write a post but can think of nothing but anxious and worrisome things to write about, so I head to the kitchen and cook instead! :)

I have a few constant reminders in my everyday life telling me that everything will be ok. I need to hold tightly to those things, but sometimes it's easy not to do that. The anticipation of this surgery is a totally new experience for me. I hate everything about it. And since Elijah isn't experiencing any physical symptoms like he was before his last two, it's easy to convince myself that he's just fine. That he doesn't really need it.

But he does! And he will be in good hands. The best hands! And I just have to find peace with the fact that we have done everything humanly possible. The rest is nothing we can control!

Ok, so now that you all know how crazy I am, I can update you on the "normal" things that are going on! Elijah is coughing a bit still from last week's sickness. Sammy woke up this morning with a new sickness. He looks so tired and worn out, poor guy. :( The weather is finally GORGEOUS. I'm tired, always so so tired. Dan is starting to work more at the dropzone, which is both good (money) and bad (we miss him). Oh, and Dan and I got out for our anniversary last weekend despite boy sickness! That's about all for now. Thanks for checking in!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Lost post recovered and an anniversary

Apparently blogger crashed and many people's posts were lost during that time, including the one I posted the other day with the boys' pics. So, here they are again!

Today is Dan's and my 5-year wedding anniversary! And so far I have spent the day cleaning up the vomit of our two little ones.

Sammy started his sickness last night. He kindly gives us a coughing warning before each time he throws up (very considerate), so we can get him to a bathroom. Even in the middle of the night I heard the cough and was able to get him to the bathroom in time.

Elijah just does it. No warnings from him, so that usually means clean-up is involved.

Anyway, Elijah is finally starting to eat again and Sammy hasn't thrown up for quite a while now so Dan and I might just be able to make it out for our anniversary dinner after all! We shall see.

That's all for now. Enjoy these smiley pics!! xo

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Boy pics, finally

Can you tell there's a little bit of attitude here? :)

And none here yet. Awwww, sweet smiley Sammy.

He picked Elijah's lollipop up off of the cement (yum!) and wiped dirt and drool all over his face.

Look at that face!

Mmmm, I'm the luckiest mama in the's time for bed. Enjoy the rest of the pics. xo

Croup: Season 3, Round 8

After saying to Dr. K the other day, "Elijah hasn't had croup in months!" I knew I probably shouldn't have spoken those words. Elijah had an episode last night at 2:30. It was low-stress. Elijah took his neb while watching Little Einsteins and we all went back to bed quickly. The only bad part of the ordeal was that I couldn't get back to sleep because I couldn't get the Little Einsteins song out of my head! This morning Elijah seemed just fine. And I was still singing that song.

I finally took some fresh pictures of the boys (mostly Sammy)! I'll post them later tonight..

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Plan

We took Elijah to see one of our favorite doctors in the world today, Dr. K (pulmonologist). We shared our airway-croup-intubation-extubation-heart-surgery concerns with him and showed him the photos that were taken of Elijah's irritated airway a week ago. Dr. K had a thought about something he'd read about a while back, and got on the phone with E's ENT doctor to chat about it. In theory, if steroids are administered directly onto the surface of the airway, this could help it to not become inflamed. But. This is not an approved procedure, so it is not recommended. Steroids aren't meant to be absorbed by the tissue in the airway. He wanted to read more about it, but thought it probably wouldn't be something we could do.

As I knew he would, though, he did want to come up with some sort of plan. So. Here is our let's-make-sure-Elijah-can-breathe-after-surgery plan as of now:

1. Give Elijah Pulmicort nebs 2x/day for the entire week leading up to surgery.

2. Dr. K wants to chat ahead of time with the anesthesiologist and intensivist assigned to take care of Elijah during and after surgery, and obviously his surgeon (Dr. M) as well. Since administering steroids onto the airway probably won't be a possibility, they will instead spray Pulmicort directly onto the airway.

3. A dose of steroids will be given to E immediately before extubation.

4. Racemic epi nebs will be on hand at extubation.

Dr. K let us know that the severity of Elijah's croup, and especially the fact that he gets it so severely post-extubation, makes him a very rare case. Plans like this usually don't need to be formed. I hate that we are having to form this plan, but I'm glad we have it.

We did learn today that we can request a specific anesthesiologist for this next surgery. We have never ever had a bad one, or even just a good one. They have all been nothing less than excellent. BUT! There is one that we love a little more than the rest. Dr. A, our beloved Dr. A. I hope he is free to care for our boy on June 10th.

On a much lighter note...

Elijah has his first modeling job! :) His physical therapist called me last week because she thought he would be a great model for a brochure that is being created for a new PT/OT/speech clinic that is opening up in our area. We all know what a great, happy smile/face he has, and he's a pretty cooperative kid (most of the time). She said that all of the therapists swoon over him after he leaves the clinic each week. She has OTs and speech therapists approaching her and saying, "Are you SURE Elijah doesn't need other therapies?" :)

I noticed this same thing when I walked into school with him the other day. As we walked down the hall, everyone would turn and say, "HI ELIJAH!" "Hey Elijah, how are you today??" "Good morning, Elijah! It's good to see you today!" I said, "Wow, sweetie, you have a lot of friends." Elijah said, "Yeah."

Now if only he would accept his cute, chubby, snuggly brother Sammy as his friend. :(

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

I've found that when you dread most of your week, weekends go ridiculously fast. I cannot believe it is Sunday night already. My boys treated me to a nice Mother's Day, as usual. Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful mothers, including my own mama and my stepmom and my mother-in-law!

I've been saving up some funny recent Elijah sayings:

I heard him counting the other day: ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, ten-ty! :)

"Wow, Mom, it sure is a nice, warm day out!"
"I agree!"
"You're not 'Guh-ree,' you're MAMA!"
"Oh yes, you are right, Elijah. I'm Mama."

Before dinner, I said a prayer and then asked Elijah what he was thankful for.
"Ok! Thank you, Jesus, for lemons!"

With the talk of Mother's Day floating around, Elijah said,
"You're Elijah's mom!"
"I AM Elijah's mom! I'm Sammy's mom, too."
"No, you're not Sam's mom. Sam's mom is home sick."

Something we've heard a few times recently:
"Daddy, what's on your chest?"
"Daddy, you have hair on your chest?"
"Yes, yes I do, Elijah."
"Oh. Daddy have hair on chest."

And by the way, we have the snuggliest baby on the planet. I always thought Elijah was that baby, but Sammy? SNUGGLY!! I love it. We have been snuggling like crazy all weekend.

Dan is cooking me a Mother's Day meal (the second he's made me today), so I think I'll plop myself on the couch and read through my new cookbook while I take in the smells of dinner. xo

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


Here was Elijah's side of a phone conversation with my dad yesterday, after we had gotten home from the hospital:

"I went to hossa-pi-doh (hospital) wif mommy-daddy. Sammy went to Sandy's (daycare) and we went to hossa-pi-doh and I pwayed wif car castle and I cried a wittle bit in the big room (OR) and Daddy said, 'It's ok, E-ijah!' and he gived me medicine and I cried a wittle bit."


Elijah woke up with dark circles under his eyes this morning, so he stayed home with Dan today to rest.

I need to come up with a formula for how long it takes to recover from hospital time. It would be something like..

For every 5 hours of time spent in the hospital, 10 hours of solid sleep is required in order to feel rested and 1 week must pass before emotions are stabilized.

We are looking forward to Elijah's appointment with Dr. K next week. We're hoping to form a plan and possibly get more answers (Thanks for the esophageal reflux comment, Mina! We'll look into that.).

A quick thing about Sammy...he has been really clingy lately. He does not tolerate being held, or looked at, by strangers ("strangers" = anyone besides Dan or me). If I walk into another room he cries and crawls after me and then pulls himself up on my legs so I will pick him up. He responds to touch way more than Elijah ever did and I would consider Elijah to be extremely snuggly! How did I get lucky enough to have TWO snuggly little boys? And don't tell Dan I said this, but he's pretty snuggly, too. :)

I think I'm through with this scatter-brained post. Thank you for checking in on our family!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Bronch results

We are home from the hospital and we bear good news! Dan and I both knew in our guts that this was the news we would receive. There are no obstructions in Elijah's airway (aside from one teeny tiny harmless cyst which we will do nothing about), but his airway is very red and irritated. We even have photos that show the redness, but they are a little bit gross so I won't share. :) Why does he have an irritated airway? No idea! It is something he will "grow out of" (I always love that answer) and that we will obviously need to keep a very close eye on after he is extubated after surgery next month. We meet with Dr. K next week (pulmonologist), and hopefully we can come up with a solid extubation plan with him. I imagine it will involve steroids and epinepherine.

Elijah was such a brave boy today. More brave than he has ever been before. The ONLY tears he shed were at the very end of getting his IV removed. I was so proud of him! Signs of maturing were definitely evident in our boy today.

My favorite line of the day was from the anesthesiologist. When he first came into the room, he looked at Elijah and said, "Well! You sure look better than your chart!" :)

Today was a tiring but best-case-scenario day. We are happy about the news and it feels great to have this checked off the list. Another piece of the puzzle falls into place! Thanks so much for the prayers..

Bronch #2

I'm not going to bring my computer to the hospital today, so there won't be any updates until we get back. Hopefully that will be soon! And with good news!

I was up from 1:00 to 5:00 this morning doing what I do best lately...fretting. Elijah is asking for food :( and Sam is slobbering all over everything. We are heading out in a bit to bring Sammy to daycare and then onto that place we love and hate.

Please pray for good news!