The Beast and The NN

Elijah is an absolute Beast today. Really. I mean, I've never seen him like this before. Maybe it's 'Roid Rage? He's been doing the back arching thing and screaming and flopping around like a crazy fish all day long. I actually did not give him any more steroids after we left the hospital last night. Something is telling me it's just not right. We'll consult with E's pediatrician tomorrow and if she convinces us to go forward with them, then we will, but it just doesn't seem worth all of this extra stress. He doesn't sleep and he's a complete maniac. Thankfully Dan came home from his trip a bit early so he's been able to help out today and I've been able to nap. I was just a few seconds away from losing my sanity, so his arrival came just in time.

I have to share my least favorite episode from yesterday's ER visit. If YOU were a mean, cold person, would YOU become a nurse? Yeah, me either. Anyway, here's how it went down:


Nasty Nurse (NN): Bad news. I'm going to have to suction Elijah's nose to get a sample for an RSV test.
Mommy (M): Oh he's used to suctioning, we do it all the time. He'll be fine.

[M thinks this will be a "normal" suction, but it is far from normal. NN sticks a giant tube down Elijah's nasal passage (very harshly, I might add) and this makes E very mad. The kind of mad that M has never ever seen in E. His body flops crazily, the screams are ear-piercing, flailing arms are a blur of commotion. It is a bad scene. M can hardly keep E on the bed.]

NN: Almost done. Theeeeere, done.

[NN finishes the suction and E is still totally freaking out. He is not a happy baby. M tries to calm him, but he's flailing so much that M can't even pick him up. NN grabs a nebulizer mask and immediately puts it on E's face and starts a nebulizer treatment. M immediately takes the mask OFF and picks up her son.]

NN: What are you DOING? You're wasting medicine!
M: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Do you see how upset he is? I'm going to calm my baby.
NN: But we're wasting medicine!

[M gets E calmed down a bit, but he's still not calm. M can tell another episode is about to take place in the very near future. NN puts the mask back on E and tells M how to position E so he won't be upset. Riiiiight, thanks for the tip. E returns to his flopping, screaming, freakish state, but NN presses on. She keeps her hand firmly on the mask this time so M doesn't try to abort the situation again and waste more medicine.]

NN: He needs to get ALL of the medicine!

[M is basically trying to make a fish out of water sit still and is praying that the stupid medicine is ALMOST DONE. Finally, it ends and M takes the mask off E and once again attempts to comfort crazy mad baby.]

NN: Wow, you can tell who's in control HERE, can't you?

[M wonders, could she really mean what I think she means? Does she think that because a mother wants to comfort her extremely upset baby that the baby is "in control" of the parent? It's not even worth it to respond to this. M does cartwheels when NN leaves the room. NN must tell the staff that she doesn't want anything to do with that controlling mother and her screaming child because E suddenly has a new nurse (who is a peach, by the way).]

Note: E never used to even notice he was getting neb treatments. Ever since our experience with NN yesterday, he won't have anything to do with the evil nebulizer. Thank you, Nasty Nurse. Thank you. Your coldness has scarred our son. Change professions, please. Go do something where you never need to interact with another breathing creature ever again.