EEG results

For the record, I have never in the history of this 7-year-old blog written more entries within a single month. Lots of entries = lots of commotion.

As we were leaving Dan's beautiful grandmother's celebration service today, I saw that I had received a voicemail message. It was Dr. Judy. No news is good news, so quick news is...a punch in the gut. Elijah's EEG from yesterday showed abnormal results. That is the only information Dr. Judy received and we know nothing beyond that.

I called her back to chat in person, and she was generous (as always) with the time she took to talk to me. We went over some possible reasons for the abnormal results, some of them being: seizures, a sleep disorder and Tourette's Syndrome. She went back to the fact that the Valium helped Elijah's behavior for a period, which made her think seizures were the issue (apparently Valium can help with seizures, as well). But then, a sleep disorder could lead to major sleep deprivation, which could lead to involuntary body movements. She didn't think we had to worry about "the really bad stuff" since whatever we are dealing with has been going on for a while.

I'm trying not to think too much about it. I need to stop myself before going to very bad, fearful places. I have to trust that everything will be ok and that this is just another bump in his very colorful journey.

Next step: get into see Dr. J (neuro) to go over the results and learn what exactly is going on. Baby steps. Literally...one little step at a time.

Deflecting attacks from darkness

Have you ever noticed that when you become more spiritually tuned in, you also get attacked with extra negativity (the Devil)? Yeah, so that happened to us yesterday. Dan and I felt a HUGE spiritual breakthrough for our family on Sunday. Then on Monday? Attacked. Big time. Elijah was telling me about some visual disturbances he was experiencing, which sent me into a dark place of fear and panic. My mind was sent to terrible places. His behavior became more than Dan and I felt we could handle yesterday. Content on my food blog was stolen (again) and that turned into a vicious fight with a lunatic thief and liar. At the end of the day, we all felt weary and disheartened. I am beyond thankful to have a husband who knows me well enough to know exactly what to say to me. He said the perfect things as we fell asleep last night.

I woke up at 3:00 a.m., as I usually do, worrying about a million different things. I started going to those dark places about Elijah's eye complaints. Then I stopped myself because I just had to. If I didn't, I would have lost my mind. I reminded myself about a dream God gave to me a few years ago, showing me my oldest son as a 30ish-old adult, perfectly "normal" and healthy. Then I thought of the word that has come into my mind every time Elijah has soared through yet another ordeal. STEADFAST. Peace flooded me and I fell back asleep.

More on this in just a minute.

I got out of bed this morning and decided that we needed to have a much better Day #2 of spring break. I thought it might be a great idea for all of us to go see a movie together in the theater. Sammy had never been to a theater before today!

It was so nice to get out together as a family, and also to give Sammy this first theater experience! Both boys loved the candy and popcorn, of course. The Croods was a very cute movie.

Dan brought E to his opthamology appointment this afternoon, which we had coincidentally scheduled months ago. I was admittedly too afraid to go. I told Dan the exact words that Elijah had used to describe his visual disturbances. He is such a kind husband and such a good dad. He promised me that he would repeat every word to the doctor.

The doctor told Dan that strangely, with kids around E's age, he hears this A LOT. They start to anticipate their eye appointment (uhhh, Elijah anticipates EVERYTHING a little more than most kids) and suddenly strange visual symptoms pop up. It is a hyper-awareness of their vision as they anticipate seeing the doctor. Today I asked Elijah periodically how his eye was doing and he described much different "symptoms" and used different words each time. So for now we will assume it is a case of silly-kid-itis! I think Doc McStuffins would agree with that diagnosis! :)

Tonight we are all feeling much better. Hopefully the Devil leaves us alone for a bit. Thank you so much for those of you who sent emails about writing letters to our boys! I received a few very kind messages and they made my day. Thank you!

Wishing a wonderful week to you all! Thanks for checking in!

Good ear news!

I was unfortunately not able to join my boys today for Elijah's ENT appointment to take a peek at his left ear. I will admit that I was nervous about it, and I would have liked to be at the appointment. The mom in me wanted to be the one to ask all the questions. Instead, I told Dan all of my questions at least ten times. :)

I am very very happy to report that the reason Elijah has been experiencing significant hearing loss in his left ear is because fluid has built up behind his ear drum. The doctor thought that this most definitely is happening is because of the infection he had in August that didn't want to go away.

My first question was: Why didn't his primary doctor know this? Apparently specialists are more specialized! Ha! Dan said he took one look and knew from the way his ear drum was shaped, that fluid was behind it.

This is all really great news because it is totally fixable. The doctor wants to wait a few months, just in case it wants to cure itself (although it usually won't by this point). We will go back in January and if things are the same, E will need to get a tube surgically placed in his ear to help drain the fluid. I suppose some parents would be saddened by this, but for us this is something that can be fixed and that makes us happy. Thank you, God!

Daylight Savings is always an interesting week for us, with Elijah being such an early riser. Saturday night the little boys and I spent the night at a friend's house while Dan was hunting. That meant that E and I shared a bed. At 3:30, he tapped me on the shoulder and said, "MOM! Is it time to get up?!" !!! And he did not go back to sleep (neither did I, really...or Sam). Ever since then, we've all been tired. I  have to tell you what he said next because it made my heart melt, although it did not make me want to get out of bed. "Mom, you are my sweet girl and my best friend!" Awww! But.....it is EARLY! GO BACK TO BED, CHILD! :)

This will be my last week of working this freelance job I have been doing since September. This job has been such a huge blessing for us in so many ways. Financially, obviously, but it has also been the positive corporate experience that I desperately needed. Almost a year ago, I was unjustly terminated from my previous job after putting in 8.5 years of stellar service for that company. I have had a very difficult time wanting to be involved in a corporate setting since then. I can truly say that I have been recalibrated! The team I have been working with for the past few months has been awesome. They are respectful and hard-working and considerate and SO NORMAL. I feel so happy to have been a part of this work environment. I am sad that it will be ending soon, but I am also happy that it will be ending soon. That means more time with my boys. But I will miss my coworkers. 

E has another appointment tomorrow, this time with his eye doctor. More info to come on that..

Sammy is as sassy and independent as ever! That boy is a toughie when he wants to be (but usually he is such a sweet and snuggly little thing). Dan and I have basically become master manipulators in order to get him to obey and do what we ask him to do. He keeps us on our toes!

More later! Thanks for checking in!

That pesky left ear

A few weeks ago I wrote about Elijah failing his hearing test at school in his left ear. We took him to see the doctor today to address that, and he failed the test again. Pretty badly. The doctor looked thoroughly in his ear. He found a tiny bit of wax, but nothing that would be causing so much hearing loss.

I feel in my gut that this has something to do with the horrible ear infection he got in August that took two huge rounds of antibiotics to get rid of. Ever since then, he occasionally tells me that his ear "feels funny." Also, ever since, he does NOT hear everything we say. Before that point in time, neither Dan or I noticed anything that would indicate that he had hearing problems.

In February of 2011 he passed his hearing test with flying colors. This tells us that most likely something was damaged with this ear infection in August. The doctor is referring Elijah to an ENT. Thankfully we already have one! :) We are hoping Dr. S can take a more thorough look and provide us with more insight.

The doctor we saw today didn't feel like this was a permanent thing. It could be, but he seemed to feel otherwise. We remain hopeful! The good news is that his right ear hears perfectly and that his left ear does have some hearing (although not much).

To add to my list of worries, Elijah's left eye has started turning inward again. It is happening a lot, even while he is wearing his glasses. I'm trying not to worry too much. We continue to patch his eye consistently, and again...hope and pray for the best!

Left eye and left ear, HEAL UP! It's always something!

We have a busy but fun next few days. We have some very good friends visiting over the weekend and we even get to spend a night away from home! Dan works over the weekend and I work on Monday. Early Tuesday morning, the little boys and I will board a plane and head to North Carolina to visit family. We cannot wait!

Have a great weekend!

Improved vision

Have I mentioned that I entered Sammy into a baby model contest? He is just so beautiful!

Elijah had his follow-up appointment with his opthamologist yesterday. Great news! His vision has improved by four whole rows on the eye chart! The doctor said that three months ago he was legally blind, so this improvement is quite a relief. We will continue to patch his good eye through the summer for 2-3 hours/day, and hopefully by then his vision will be closer to where it should be for his age. We have been very consistent with having him wear his patches, so it feels good to know that has paid off. Thankfully he does really well with it. He will occasionally ask if he can take it off, but responds well to, "Not yet!"

And MY vision has improved, as well. Not the vision from my eyes, but insight into my oldest boy. I was lying in bed this morning thinking about the book The Five Love Languages. There's a version written for children, and I have it on my bookshelf. I started thinking about what both Eljiah and Sammy's love languages are. How do they perceive love? Elijah is without a doubt a Quality Time guy. I know that all children need quality time with their parents, but Elijah reeeeeeally needs QT with us. It is the thing he asks from us most of all. When he was a baby I remember getting home from work in the evenings and starting dinner and he would become terribly fussy, which was out of character for him. Over time I learned to come home and immediately give him 30 minutes of my undivided attention. After that, he was just fine! I could go about my business and have a content baby for the rest of the night. He needed that one-on-one time with me immediately upon seeing me.

Fast forward to now. Dan and I really do spend soooo much QT with Elijah, together and separately. We always have. But I realized in bed this morning that perhaps our timing isn't the greatest. As when he was a babe, he needs that QT right away in the morning, and of course again throughout the day here and there. Also, now that I am working from home, being on the computer is something that needs to happen on occasion. I will admit that my computer can sometimes become a distraction for me. Between both blogs, Facebook, Pinterest and editing photos, a lot of my time can be consumed and I can be distracted from the QT a little more easily.

Right away this morning I brought Elijah into bed with me and tickled and played with him for 20 minutes straight. Pure one-on-one time while Sammy snuggled up against me (who happens to be a Physical Touch guy). Getting ready for school was a breeze! Maybe it was coincidental, but I am hoping I am onto something. When E got back from preschool this afternoon, I took him outside and spent 15 minutes playing baseball with him (one of his new favorite things to do in our yard). The afternoon went great! We had some more one-on-one time throughout the day, and I knew he really loved it. While playing Candy Land, I was the one to suggest another game and his eyes lit up.

(Here is Sammy with his wearing-Mommy's-shoes obsession.)

And tell me if this is a coincidence or not....NO POTTY ACCIDENTS TODAY! I am sure it's partially coincidence, but maybe not totally. 

(Elijah, wanting to play more baseball!)

There is my insight for the day. Our boys are both so special in their unique ways. We love them so very much!

I want to share a couple funnies before I sign off. Last night we got our (very gross, dirty, disgusting, puked-on, pooped-on, yucky) carpet professionally cleaned (for free). It looks great! Elijah likes it so much that he won't let me put our rugs back on it. Every time I put them back today, I would find them in the kitchen. "Mom! Don't put rugs in our new house!"

Elijah has begun calling himself "Ben" and calling Sammy "Rennan." Last night I heard him ordering "Rennan" around. "Rennan! Put on Mommy's shoes!" Then I would say, "Sammy, you don't have to put Mommy's shoes on." Elijah would say, "He's not 'Sammy!' He's 'Rennan!'"

I keep forgetting to write this one down. This is a funny one! You all know how much Sammy loves and has always loved balls. He almost always has a ball in his hand and seeks them out constantly. A few weeks ago in church an older gentleman was sitting across the aisle from us who happened to have a walker with tennis balls on the bottoms as stoppers. Sammy saw the tennis balls that had slits in them to fit around the bottoms and was aghast! "OH NO! BALLS!?!?! OH NO!" He couldn't understand why anyone would destroy balls!

Tonight we had a picnic in our yard for dinner. The boys enjoyed it, although sitting that close together always leads to some sort of trouble.

I think I will save my thoughts on kids at the park for another post. It relates to my worries about Elijah and kindergarten. We mamas are always worrying about something (or many things), right?!

And since Elijah kept his pants dry ALL DAY TODAY, we went to DQ for a post-dinner treat! The boys were so happy!

Look at this messy but happy Sammy!

We are still missing Dan, although he FINISHED HIS SKYDIVING COURSE! He is now licensed to teach AFF! We are so proud of him for putting so much time and effort into it. We love you, Daddy Dan!

Thank you for checking in! More adventures are certain in the near future..

Fixed eyes, a head injury and an M&M's addiction

I have much to share! I'll start with the best news. Elijah got his new glasses! Could any kid be better-suited for glasses than him? They suit his personality very well, I think. He did ok with them today, but did not like the patch at all. He has to wear a patch on his right eye for two hours every day, and I have a feeling this is going to be quite a daily struggle (like we need more daily struggles). Patching his good eye makes his other eye work pretty hard, which is good (for his eye) and bad (for those who have to deal with the complaining).



Two days ago, I was upstairs working on my blog and Dan was downstairs doing the budget (his favorite thing). Sammy was taking a nap, and Elijah was having quiet time at the computer. All of a sudden I heard chair legs screeching on the floor, followed by a splat and a murderous Elijah scream. He had somehow fallen off his chair and landed head-first onto the tile floor. A huge bump formed very quickly on the back of his head. I probably would have been comfortable not bringing him to the hospital if the bump had been our only concern. A few minutes after the fall, once he had calmed down, he started complaining about not being able to see us. He kept saying that his head was "up and couldn't get back down," and then he would say, "Mommy, I can't see you!" I brought him to the ER immediately. I know enough about head injuries to know not to waste time when neurological symptoms are present.



The ER doctor said he had a good deal of swelling and because he had complained of vision problems, a CT scan was ordered. The results were normal. He had suffered a mild concussion, but nothing was structurally damaged. The nurse told me to expect him to be "off" for about a week, but those vision complaints within 10 minutes of his fall were the only "off" things we have witnessed.



He was such a BRAVE BRAVE BOY during the CT scan. He had complete trust in me when I told him that nothing was going to hurt. He had to get "tied down" pretty tightly for the scan, and he did great. He's maturing! Just a short time ago, he would not have done well with that. I was very proud of my boy. Then we sat together on a bed in Room 16 and snuggled and talked and hugged and sang songs while we waited for the results. I don't know exactly how to explain this, but it was a weird experience for me. Sitting in a hospital with that special little boy of mine always, no matter what we are there for, brings me to tears. Happy, sad, thankful, sorrowful tears. I tried to put it into words to explain to Dan, but I couldn't. I can't explain it. There's just deep-rooted emotion there that I don't believe will ever go away. Elijah + hospitals = emotional mama.



The bump on E's head is still there, but he seems to be doing just fine. It has not hindered his sass or pooping-in-pants at all!

Our sweet Sammy needs rehab for his M&M's addiction. I had some left over from a recipe I made the other night, so I gave the boys each a small handful after dinner. Ever since then, Sammy has been asking for M-N-M-N-M (stick your tongue out on the Ns) about every 5 minutes. He gets such a funny little concerned look on his face when he asks for them. He's an addict!

And in other news, since being unemployed (or I should say since being SELF-employed!), I have been a home-organizing lunatic! After literally YEARS of carrying the I-don't-have-time-to-take-care-of-my-home burden heavily on my shoulders, I finally have time to take care of my home! I am loving this! Dan has helped me to create an office for myself in our loft, where I have been spending a few hours every day doing blog work and photo editing. We have also gone through all of the boys' toys and put three large bags in storage (aka, our messy garage). I have also sorted through my ridiculous pile of cooking magazines and organized them. Today I washed couch and chair covers. I am consistently CAUGHT UP ON LAUNDRY, which is the absolute strangest thing on the planet. When I was working full-time, I was never ever caught up on laundry. NEVER. And the best thing of all is that I get so much quality time with my precious boys. Spending this time with them is very special to me. Getting Elijah on and off the bus every day is indescribable. Snuggling with Sammy endlessly on the couch is the best. I love having this time with my boys!

I have another organizational project for tomorrow that I'm excited about! I'll take before and after pics and share. Fun!

Thanks for checking in on us! More later!

Eye appointment

The opthamologist found three problems with Elijah's eyes this morning: 1. The vision in his left eye is very poor, 2. His right eye is doing almost all of the work, and 3. his left eye is turning inward periodically. The doctor feels that number 3 is the least of our concerns at this point. He feels that if we take care of 1 and 2, that 3 will likely fall into place.

We ordered a pair of glasses for Elijah today! We're thinking he will need to wear them for a minimum of two years, possibly more. In addition, we will be "patching" his good eye for a few hours every day for a period of three months (minimum). The hope is that these two things will greatly reduce the amount of eye-crossing.

Since his little eyes had been dilated, his left eye basically stayed crossed for the rest of the day which was a bit alarming. I kept forgetting about it and then I'd look at him and I wouldn't have any idea what or who he was looking at!



The doctor thinks it is extremely unlikely that the eye-crossing is occurring because of anything serious. He also thinks it is unlikely that any of this has anything to do with the rest of his anomalies. In fact, I have always had terrible vision in MY left eye and my right eye did most of the work for 29 years until I got lasik. So it is very likely that it is genetic. You're welcome, Elijah!

And here are the glasses he chose! We had a handful picked out that all fit him well and every one of them looked adorable on him, so we let him choose. They should be ready in approximately two weeks, and we will be ready to fix those eyes!

Eyes

Color

For the longest time, Elijah's eyes were a greyish, nondescript color. Within the past year, they have turned into the most beautiful, colorful eyes I have ever seen.



By the way, it was a miracle (and kind of an accident) that this shot worked. I have tried to get a close-up of his eyes for a while now, but he is always too busy darting around the room for that holding-still nonsense.

Ever since preschool started, Elijah has been having me sit in the corner of the kitchen as he pretends to be my teacher. He stands up in front of "the class" and folds his hands across his belly (so funny!) as he leads me in songs. He even walks to the wall and pretends to turn a knob (that doesn't exist) that turns the pretend music on and off. It is one of the cutest things I have ever seen him do.

One of the songs he sings as he is "teaching" me is the Itsy Bitsy Spider. This is the first time I have ever heard him sing this song, and it is cute cute cute! "The ipsy bipsy pie-der..." :)

He has been making me laugh more than usual lately. He has started saying, "Hi purple Mommy!" (fill in the color with whatever color shirt I'm wearing). The funniest thing in the world to him right now is when I say, "EYELASH CRASH?!?" and give him a surprised expression. I know, it doesn't make sense, but maybe that's why he finds it so funny.

There are a few words that he still hugely mispronounces, but I refuse to correct him because I think they are so cute. He still calls "breakfast" "feckis" and for some reason I love that. The other day he saw me making dinner and said, "Mama have wife?" ("Wife" = "Knife") He stopped himself and said, "Not WIFE! It's KNIFE!" Darn, he's catching on.

That's about all I've got for now! Just wanted to share some funnies about my beautiful-eyed little boy.