Dear Elijah,
Tomorrow Daddy and I will bring you to the hospital so you can receive your seventh heart cath. I am sitting here, a total mess of tears, anticipating your anxiety and pain. The thought of anyone hurting you (even if it is for the purpose of helping you) or making you feel uncomfortable is one of the worst feelings in the world for me. I wish I could endure all of the physical and emotional pain for you. I would take it all, times a million, if it meant that you wouldn't have to experience any of it.
You're just a few days away from turning four years old, and that means that you have a very solid grasp of your surroundings. Because of that, this hospital stay will be a bit different than the last, back when you were still two. I worry that you won't trust me when I tell you something isn't going to hurt and I worry that this experience will give you more anxiety than you already have and I worry that you are going to be emotionally and physically uncomfortable for the majority of our hospital stay (I say "our" because I will not leave your side).
All of the worrying is really very pointless, and I know this. God has everything under control, and I know this, as well. Sometimes when I am feeling anxious like I am now, it seems impossible to turn off the worrying.
I need you to know that I will never allow anyone to cause you any sort of pain unless I know that it is helping you. That it is allowing you to stay with us on this Earth for a longer period of time. I'm so sad that the doctors and nurses have to hurt you in order to help you, Elijah. I'm so sorry for that. I wish there were another way.
This could possibly be the first hospital stay, of your many, that you will remember. In addition to any discomfort that you might store away in that smart little head of yours, I hope you also carry with you how much your daddy and I love you, support you and rally for you.
I love you, my sweet, brave boy!
Love,
Mama
13 comments:
Megan and Dan,
I have been thinking about you guys all week, and especially today. I hope the next week goes by so quickly and that you get excellent news. You have one amazingly strong little man and he is going to continue to impress all those doctors! Hang in there.
Blessings,
Katie and the boys
Know that we're keeping Mr. Elijah in our prayers! It seems that he & Miss Vaeh tend to parallel each other a bit... (her 7th will probably be here in the next couple of months :0/)
The very worries that you write of in your letter to Elijah have/are going through my head, too! They are just finally old enough that its going to be a compeletely different experience than any have before. I know that HE is with all of you! Please give that little man huge hugs from us & know that we're with you... in spirit! May His peace engulf all of you!
I read your post at work and had to quickly grab for a kleenex to wipe away the tears. I have been thinking of your family all week and am praying for a successful cath with minimal stress and anxiety. Tell Elijah that he has many, many people who are behind him, rooting and praying for him:) Much love to you and your beautiful boys! xoxo
Elijah will be in my thoughts. Praying for the best outcome tomorrow!
oh you guys, we know those feelings. we will be praying for YOUR hearts in addition to great news for elijah's heart, and a very easy, PAIN-FREE procedure.
much love,
the nelsons
You are in our prayers! LOVE
Praying physically and emotionally over your precious hearts!
Your words are so precious, Megan. You are not alone. I'm trying to explain to Logan because he is asking questions. They are brave and can't mentally understand the risks at this age, which is a blessing. Elijah will do great. "be still and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10 this always helps me to ease up on the anxiety and worry. I'm so glad that we crossed paths. We will be able to look back and continue to say that Elijah and Logan paved the way for future treaments that may cure or heal heart defects. You and your family are so precious, and y'all are in our prayers. Anxiety and worry is part of being human and God understands. Just picture him holding you and Elijah with smiles on all of your faces during this time. That's what he wants to do! Love you and thinking about you today!
Kayla And Logan Poret
Saying many prayers for all of you!
We are thinking of you guys today!
And now I am crying.....
I am not looking forward to June. Grace will also be almost 4. She hasn't had anything heart related done since she was 6 months old. Cath followed by surgery a week later....ugh.
We are saying lots of prayers.
Thinking of you and your family! U R an Amazingly Strong Momma!
Oh, Megan... I feel the same. It just hurts so. Big hugs & will be praying!
Post a Comment