Thankful.

Today was a pretty incredible day, and I found myself constantly feeling thankful. We did not know what to expect coming into this surgery. We would rather forget about the last ear surgery, and we didn't know if all or any of that chaos would happen again. We are SO THANKFUL that this was a completely different experience.

(My dad and stepmom have gotten a couple Piggie-Elephant books for the boys and they LOVE them! Elijah insisted on bringing both books with him to the hospital yesterday. He literally snuggled with them before and after surgery....arms wrapped around them while he drifted in and out of sleep. :) Today he wanted to pose for a picture with one of them.)

Elijah had a great day! He woke up feeling good, eating and drinking A LOT and keeping it all down. He played almost at his usual pace, and in true fashion was sassy when interacting with his brother. He complained of mild pain twice, but we began a tylenol-advil schedule that seems to have taken care of any discomfort. We changed his gauze once today and his ear/incision look great! No fever, no dizziness, lots of crazy hair and a big happy smile on our spunky and resilient oldest boy!

I could tell Sammy was happy to be with his family today (the feelings were very mutual). I got lots of hugs and snuggles. After I had put him down for a nap, he called me into his room. "Mommy! You forgot to give me LOVE!" He wrapped himself around my arm and would not let go. "I love you SO MUCH, Mommy. You are the best mommy EVER. I love all of our family." I love that little boy! He is so funny and cute and independent and awesome.

I feel like it would be so easy to forget about the blessings (MIRACLES) that have been thrown our way. Once things are "okay," it is easy to settle back into a routine and forget about answered prayers. Today, I haven't allowed myself to forget. I keep reminding myself to be extra thankful. I keep thinking about where we were at on Day #2 last time and how Elijah couldn't walk in a straight line for many weeks after that surgery. I keep reminding myself about what the doctor told us yesterday. He said that if another surgeon were to do this surgery not knowing E's history, he/she would probably have no idea that his footplate was at one point totally broken in half. Yesterday it appeared to be totally healthy and filled with fluid, which is a miracle based on the reactions we've seen from the doctors and nurses (apparently cracked footplates don't "just heal"). I keep thinking about how many times Elijah has had to endure tape being painfully peeled off his arm and needles poked into him and on and on. And yet he continues to smile. When I think about all of this, his anxieties and struggles make so much sense. I want to never forget any of this and to keep it all in perspective! Please remind me of this when I am struggling to understand something or another! :)

Yesterday Elijah asked questions and made comments that we have never heard before. Here are the ones I can recall:
"Am I going to die?"
"I'm scared."
"I don't want to be alone."
"Will you and Daddy be with me the whole time?"
"After I go to sleep with the mask, will they put the tube in my throat?"
"Will you and Daddy wait in a different room while I have surgery?"
"I miss Sammy! I want to be with him!"
"Why does my throat feel funny after surgery?"
"Will you be there when I wake up?"
"When Daddy comes into the surgery room with me, is he a nurse?"

For the first time ever, he was thinking ahead and also expressing feelings surrounding surgery and time in the hospital. He has not ever done this before, not even a little bit. I never want my boys to worry, but this is definitely a sign that Elijah is maturing! I wonder if he has just been unable to make sense of these things in the past and is finally able to express the words/feelings verbally. It makes me a little sad to think that he has perhaps been holding all of these questions/thoughts in because he has been trying to make sense of them. At any rate, I was happy to hear him rattling off questions and I am MORE than happy to provide answers!

If my surgery equation is correct (one week of healing is needed for every day spent in the hospital), we should have another 6 days before we are back on track! We do not have much planned in the next few weeks and I did that on purpose. Hopefully there will be lots of time relaxing at the dropzone and time spent together and with friends and family. After a few months of TONS of activity, I'm looking forward to a laid back July!

Thanks for checking in! Wishing you all a wonderful week!