Climbing the mountain....slowly..

Today was a day of overwhelmedness for this mama. I'm heading out of town tomorrow..SOLO..so wrapping up a hundred loose ends has been a little bit stressful. It'll be worth it 24 hours from now! I'll report more about my trip after I get back. It is going to be a hugely momentous and awesome adventure! Something I will certainly never forget.

First, birthday party pics!

Isn't this so like Sammy to be a unique part of the picture? :)

I have a few things I wanted to write down before I leave town. The most exciting news is that I took Elijah in for his ENT follow-up today. Dr. L wanted to see how his hearing compared to six months ago and after his most recent ear surgery in July. His hearing test today revealed that the hearing in his left ear is even BETTER than it was six months ago! His left ear is now officially completely within the normal range. Amazing! Dr. L was literally stammering over his words. I don't think he said one entire complete sentence. What I heard: "This is...just...unbelievable. I am...stunned. Un. Believable. See you in six months." The outcome of this whole ear ordeal has been a HUGE answer to prayer. I will never ever forget the miracles that have happened to Elijah in this area.

A funny thing from the appointment today.. While he was getting his hearing test, the audiologist directed some white noise into his right ear while testing his left. Elijah stopped her and said, "Um, excuse me, but are you giving me challenging wind?" That's my boy!

Overall, we have been seeing gradual improvements with our oldest boy recently. He has been so much better about telling us details about his day (good or bad) and about expressing his feelings. He also can occasionally catch himself when he is doing something undesirable and he can express sincere apology more than ever before. A lot of the things that "they" tell us Elijah will never be able to do...he is starting to do. At 6:00 pm, when Dan walks in the door, he will remember that at 7:00 am Dan had a sore throat and he'll say, "Daddy, how are you feeling? How is your throat? I hope you are feeling better!" In Elijah-land, these things are a pretty huge deal.

Sleep recently has mostly been average to good. We have had very few "bad" nights recently, although Dan and I are still waking up early because we've been trained to do so. :) The end of daylight savings has been a blessing because we haven't had to change Elijah's internal clock, yet he's going to bed later and waking up later!

I think I forgot to mention Elijah's recent well visit with Dr. Judy. Everything looked fine, but she was surprised and disappointed that the ASD label had been thrown on him. She has never believed that it's a suitable label for him. I agree, but if it is helping him get the assistance he needs in school then I'm not against it. School has been going much better since he has been receiving more one-on-one support. We love his teachers. They work really hard to keep him happy and productive. I still don't feel like he is completely understood, but he is a tough one to understand!

I think I've covered what I've wanted for the week. You won't hear from me again until at least Sunday. Have a great weekend!

Meeting in Room 103

I have said this a thousand times and I will say it again. We have been SO blessed with the doctors that have been placed in our lives to care for our precious boys. Dr. M traveled all the way to our southwestern suburb today to meet with Elijah's team at school. The meeting was AWESOME. Dr. M spoke as if he has known Elijah his whole life. The entire time, I found myself shaking my head yes...yep, that's our boy...yep, that's him....oh definitely yes, that explains Elijah..

He started by explaining that E has not just one or two strikes against him, but many strikes. The main ones being an extensive medical history, Nonverbal Learning Disorder and also being on the autism spectrum (some resulting strikes being sleep issues, anxiety and OCD). He explained the main aspects of NLD and how it is not a learning disorder but an information processing disorder. Also, how there are certain things that E's brain cannot do and will not ever be able to do, such as looking at a sheet of math problems and having the ability to prioritize the information and get through it without being totally overwhelmed. I could see things clicking with the teachers as Dr. M described how NLD kids react to school work and expectations and visual clutter.

Together, we addressed the main problem areas and even set a few plans in motion. Dr. M really stressed reinforcing SKILLS. For example, probably E's biggest "trouble spot" while in school is his inappropriate talking. Sometimes he blurts out noises and sometimes he says potty talk. Sometimes he calls people names for no reason at all. Since kids like Elijah think in steps and learn through a lot of verbal repetition, we came up with a plan to write out three concrete steps for him to follow when he starts to say an inappropriate word or noise. Dan and I are in the process of coming up with exact verbiage and then we will repeat, repeat, repeat those steps to him until he can stop the inappropriate sounds/talking before they happen. We will share our exact steps with the school so they can use the same words. Every time I talk to Dr. M, I gain some sort of new and valuable information. One of the things he said today that really helped me understand Elijah was that we (teachers/parents) need to keep repeating things to him until he understands....and that even though he might appear to understand and tells us he understands something, we will not truly know that he understands until we HEAR HIM REPEAT OUR OWN WORDS TO HIMSELF. Our scripts become his scripts. This is how he is going to get through school and life.

One of the things I've been saying for so long is that Elijah is confusing because at first glance, he appears to process information in a completely normal manner. He makes eye contact, he is engaging, he answers questions (mostly) appropriately and he smiles, laughs, interacts and even tells jokes. A person just meeting him could have a 2-minute conversation with him and have no idea the amount of processing that is taking place in his brain. So when you ask this engaging, smart little person to complete an abstract task like draw a picture and write a story to go along with it, you become confused when he absolutely cannot follow through. It can even be seen as complete defiance or manipulation.

Dr. M once again provided such good information. We feel very thankful for him and for E's teachers and team who were so willing to attend the meeting and who seemed so receptive (as they feverishly jotted notes in their notebooks) to understand more about Elijah and NLD in general.

I'll end on that thankful note. Next installment...the sassiest Sammy you'll ever meet. :)

Pumpkins, Halloween and meetings at school.

Do I say this every week? Working away from home full time makes the time absolutely fly by! This is my fifth week working in Cannon Falls for the fall and I miss my boys so much. The Sammy and Elijah hugs I get upon returning home every evening are the sweetest things about my entire day.

Halloween was fun! We did our annual family pumpkin-carving evening one day last week. The boys were more involved than they have ever been before. 

Here is Dan, intent in his carving. Notice Elijah's tired gaze? This is something we see a lot lately.

Sammy and I carved our pumpkin in no time. Ghosts in the graveyard.

Sammy hiding from a photo, as usual!

The gooey stuff around Frankenstein's carvings is glow-in-the-dark paint.

The one typical NLD characteristic that Elijah definitely does NOT have is limited facial expressions. :)

My silly, adorable Sammy.

The boys scored with candy on Halloween. We took them to a nearby mall for trick-or-treating and then brought them back home to go to a few houses in our neighborhood. They love handing out candy to kids who stop by our house, so we always make sure to leave room for that. When the doorbell rang, they would RUN to the door and hand out candy while shaking (Elijah) out of excitement.

This year Sammy did what I used to do as a kid. He laid his candy in rows and counted it all. He memorized exactly what he had. I know this because I may have stolen candy from his pumpkin after he was asleep and he totally busted me the next day. He blamed it on Elijah..."ELIJAH STOLE MY COLORFUL LICORICE!" I haven't touched his pumpkin since. The kid knows. Don't mess with Sammy's candy.

I got costumes for the boys last summer super cheap, but Sammy insisted on wearing his robot costume for the THIRD year in a row. :) He might still be wearing this when he's 12. He did willingly wear his cute new Toy Story alien costume a few weeks ago at another Halloween party. Could two boys possibly be any cuter?!

Cute blue super-crayon (Elijah added the "scary mask") and robot, trick-or-treating at the mall!

And this is what I walked in on this morning before leaving for work. Genuine early morning brotherly love. These two love each other so much!

Dan and I had another meeting with Elijah's team at school this week. It was a tough one for us. We were informed that Elijah's behavior has been getting progressively worse while at school, which has included frequent physical aggression and name calling. Dan and I were both startled by some of the things we read in the eval report. Since, we have been in closer communication with his teacher so we can appropriately discipline on days when he becomes physical and calls names.

Next week is our official IEP meeting. In this week's meeting, his teacher pushed for getting an aide in the class who would be solely dedicated to Elijah. She told the team that she pretty much has most of her focus on one child throughout the majority of every day....Elijah. :( That obviously stretches her and detracts from her relationships with the other children. Dan and I are on board with this, so we will see what the team thinks next Wednesday.

Still, we do not feel understood. It seems like the majority is placing focus on ASD instead of NLD, which makes sense considering his new special-education label at school is ASD. I kept mentioning Elijah's tank being totally empty and him being above boiling point, but I received a lot of empty stares back.

I called Dr. M, E's neuropsych, today and asked if he would be willing to come to school to chat with the team. He said he absolutely would! Music to my ears. I feel like he could word things differently and not be the "protective mother" that people hear in these meetings. I'll attempt to set up a meeting for early December so that can happen.

More later. I'm tired. Dan will be away for the weekend hunting, so the little boys and I have some fun planned (cleaning! baking! sleeping!). Thanks for peeking in. Have a great weekend!

Dirty toes

My birthday was awesome yesterday! My boys treated me to an incredible day. I woke up to a homemade breakfast sandwich (sooo yummy...Dan makes the BEST) while Sammy and Elijah made me food in their play kitchen. Elijah made me a Salt & Pepper Cake and Sammy made me Vegetable-Fruit Soup. Both were delicious! :) After I ate their food, Elijah "cleaned" up their kitchen and was pretty proud of himself for doing so.

Before I opened my gifts, Sammy said, "Here Mom! Open your new purple water bottle!" He couldn't understand why he shouldn't have said that. It was cute. And I loved the water bottle. I will forever have the image etched in my mind of both boys standing excitedly in front of me, literally jumping and bouncing around with enormous smiles and flapping arms because they were so excited to give me the gifts that they had picked out. I have the best boys! They gave me 39 spanks and then Sammy said to me, "Mom....I love your dirty toes." Oh my goodness, that boy. He is so funny. Dan and I got away for a quick dinner last night and that was delicious. It was a great 39th birthday!

We had such a fun morning today! We spent the morning with our friends Jen (E's awesome kindergarten teacher turned friend) and Allison (her adorable baby girl). We went to the music class that they attend every week and it was so much fun! Aside from a 15-second bit of "trouble" Elijah gave me, the boys did awesome and had such a fun time. Both boys loved the musical triangles and I noticed that Elijah was clanging his mini cymbals together with impeccable rhythm. I remembered from one of my NLD books that NLD kids typically are musically inclined especially in the realm of drums or instruments that require rhythm. Hmmm, something to keep in the back of my head. We played at Jen and Allison's house for a bit afterward and the boys had so much fun!

I feel so grateful for the ideas that have been sent our way regarding Elijah and some of things he has been struggling with. Thank you so much! My soon-to-be sis-in-law (right, Joel?) is going to school to become a child behavioral analyst, so she sent me tons of valuable thoughts and ideas. One of the things she mentioned that I thought was brilliant was to make our white board schedule portable so we can bring it to the dropzone. Why didn't I think of this? Above is our end-of-week and weekend schedule with the dz part being portable. Sometimes it seems like Elijah doesn't pay much attention to these schedules, but if I ask him a specific question about our day he knows the answer without having to look. He obviously relies on them for structure and predictability.

Last week I contacted Fraser (special needs organization) and Autism Society of MN and got E's name on their lists so we can get him evaluated for services. I'd love for him to be able to receive social skills help and emotional/behavioral help. I'm excited to see what comes from that. Depending on how they pan out, Courage Kenny is next on my list. I've been reading parts of E's neuropsych report every day to try to absorb the info from that. I'm feeling a bit desperate to get a few of our recent struggles under control before second grade starts.

Today was a mostly GREAT day, so I'd like to copy and paste paste paste.

This weekend: work, dropzone, church and family time. I'm so grateful for my amazing boys and for YOU for reading and caring about us. Have a wonderful weekend!

Sleep-anxiety, Inc.

My tired little boys are in bed after a looong weekend spent at the dropzone. We had a great weekend and even got visits from a few different friends. One group of friends was able to go skydiving (they had so much fun!) and some others were not able to go (the plane needed unexpected maintenance...booo). We also got to spend some time with our good skydiving friends who we haven't seen in a while who were visiting from Florida!

I wish I could report that our weekend was filled with stellar behavior. It was not. It was pretty rough at times. Thankfully Dan was in the vicinity to help with discipline and behavior management. That helped a ton. For the past five nights or so Elijah has reverted to not sleeping well again. He wakes up exhausted and is up constantly throughout the night. A few nights ago the fitbit recorded 42 times awakened in a 9-hour period! Yikes! I have done a TON of thinking about this and so many other aspects of our oldest cutie.

FYI! The rest of this post could be really boring, so I will not be offended if you click away now. It helps me so much to write these details out, so bear with me if you wish to continue reading! :)

I have said so many times over the past year or so that once we get Elijah's sleeping figured out, so many other things will fall into place. I'm beginning to understand that it's not that simple. We have done everything under the sun to get that boy sleeping well and nothing has worked for him on a consistent basis. Here are the things I feel like we DO do well (not sure these things help, but they definitely can't hurt):

- We have a very strict bedtime routine that we stick to every single night, even when we are away from home.

- We keep the boys' bedroom (at home and at the dropzone) TOTALLY pitch black.

- We have two sources of white noise in their room to drown out all outside noise.

- We bought Elijah a weighted blanket (20 lbs!) that I've read helps to calm people with sensory/sleep issues.

- We consistently put him to bed early since he tends to wake up so early in the mornings, no matter what time he goes to bed.

- We make bedtime a totally relaxing, predictable and enjoyable routine for our boys.

From what I have read about both ASD and NLD, most kids with both of these diagnoses have sleep issues due to the sensory and anxiety issues also involved. That tells me that we need to address the anxiety and sensory issues first, and only after we do that will the sleeping improve. We have tried many months' worth of sleep meds that have not worked and that have actually caused more strife than help! I'm not eager to put anything else in his body at this point. He is super sensitive to medication and that has always been the case. Even antibiotics and Tylenol affect him negatively.

So how do we help him with anxiety and sensory issues?

- Routine helps a lot, I think. Summers are NOT good for routines, but we can continue to do things consistently as a family no matter where we are (dropzone, home or otherwise).

- Elijah has so much anxiety surrounding the topic of potty training, so we have to do our part to minimize this. I was reading tonight in an NLD book that kids with this disorder so often have a difficult time prioritizing bodily/emotional needs. It is tough for them to order hunger, tiredness, the need to use bathroom, pain, etc, in their hierarchy of needs. This makes a lot of sense to me. Dan and I have instinctively started having tons more patience with accidents because we are beginning to understand that he isn't trying to make us upset/crazy/mad/ready to run screaming from our home. It can be soooo frustrating and I feel like it would be nearly impossible to be totally calm during the multiple daily issues we encounter. I have really tried to be as cool as possible regarding this topic and I hope we can be semi-consistent with this and reduce anxiety about potty for ALL of us. He IS slowly making progress and I literally need to remind myself about those baby steps once an hour!

- He has some other anxiety triggers that I've been trying to avoid or really help him out with. Getting the tape residue on his arm off from his surgery? Not important (this is a HUGE source of anxiety for him). It'll come off eventually. Watching him suffer through social scenarios? When I'm present, I coach him as much as possible to help ease his pain. Hopefully over time he will begin to hear my voice in his head and find comfort in that. "Elijah, it's ok! He's just a kid! Say 'hello!' Ask him if he wants to play!" I've also tried to be more sensitive to some of his unrealistic worries (OCD-type stuff). Tonight he was really concerned and obsessed about a tiny little pimple he has on his arm. He did not want me to touch it, but he was crying at bedtime because he wanted it to go away. I prayed for his pimple, kissed it and did everything I could think of to give him peace about it (as opposed to making him feel silly about being worried about it).

- Dan and I have learned through reading about NLD that busy environments are really overwhelming for Elijah. It is difficult for him to interpret a lot of visual information on top of tons of noise and other stimuli. For the past few months, every time he is in an overwhelming setting he breaks down. This is usually evident by the hitting, kicking, name-calling, screaming, etc. It can get reeeeeeally really ugly. I've found that when we are in unpredictable or overwhelming environments, I constantly walk on eggshells. Things can make a bad turn very quickly and it can be really challenging to manage, especially if Dan isn't around. I have been trying to get Elijah to recognize the overwhelmed "too much" feeling before it gets out of control. He isn't quite able to do this yet, but I'll continue to point the precursors out to him. Lately I have been providing him with chill-out options when I spy the overwhelmed behavior taking shape. I will let him spend time on the iPad (learning apps only) or a book or a huge mama snuggle (thankfully, he still LOVES this one). Good things have come from this! There is a country-states app on our iPad that he loves. He will sit for hours, learning facts about countries and U.S. states. He can point to the exact location of every single African country on a map! Seriously! He knows WAY more than I do about geography and he has such a hunger to learn it all. I feel like these sorts of solutions are positive outlets for him, so we will continue to seek out other helpful coping strategies.

- I've read a little bit about the Tomatis Method (listening program therapy) and the Alert Program (this deals with self-awareness, which is such a deficiency for Elijah) and I am SO excited to explore both avenues with Elijah, hopefully with the help of his OT.

Whew! I think that's all for now. My brain hurts. It took major effort to get all of that out in a semi-organized manner. If you are still reading, I'll send you a medal for your patience. Thanks for reading and caring and we love you for being here! Have a great week!

Ruminations on NLD

Today was a day of major processing. Thankfully I had the day off work, so I was able to do that without interruption. I began reading websites on the topic of Nonverbal Learning Disorder/Disability while on the treadmill at the gym. WOW. There is so much information to absorb! First and foremost, I am extremely grateful to have this new knowledge but it definitely is overwhelming in these initial stages. I stepped into a cozy, hot shower in the locker room and sobbed like a baby. I didn't even care who was listening. The tears were ready. They expressed relief and grief, happiness and sadness.

Here is what I have processed today..

By being hyper-aware of Elijah's delays and needs early on (before he was 5 months old) and getting him as much help as possible through weekly therapies (PT/OT/speech), medical intervention and the school system, we have inadvertently tackled some challenges way ahead of time with his NLD (nonverbal learning disorder). As I read through website after website on this disorder, every single one describes Elijah as if they know him personally. There are a few characteristics that most NLD kids display at his age, however, that we have managed to avoid by teaching him certain ways of talking/acting/behaving. For example, most NLD kids speak in fairly monotone voices, without much inflection and without using a large range of facial expressions. One of the things we have done with Elijah since he was a baby is to over-exaggerate our inflections and expressions. He learned those behaviors (as well as the associated meanings), and currently speaks with much inflection and he uses many different expressions. Since he was a baby, I have always played the "facial expressions" game with him. "Show me a MAD FACE! Now show me a SURPRISED FACE!" Also, we used sign language with him early on, which helped him to have some reliance on visuals which is really important for him. Now that we are enlightened, we will do these sorts of things with much more regularity. We will explain everything in an attempt to teach him how to generalize and learn cause-effect and understand sarcasm and not take everything literally. This will be an entirely new lifestyle for us, and we are ready to tackle it. It excites me to think up new ways to help him out!

Just in the past two days, Dan and I have immensely renewed patience. And a little bit of guilt. We have punished Elijah for YEARS for things he has had no control over. Ugh. This is a tough one to swallow. Thankfully, he is 7 and his doctor reassured us that we have not caused any damage. We know his "language" now, and we are starting fresh from this point. Dan and I have been implementing new ways of delivering information to Elijah and it has been super helpful. Instead of my usual way-too-wordy lecture, I said to him tonight as he was riding his bike in the driveway, "Elijah! STEP 1! Go inside and do your homework. STEP 2! Computer time." He IMMEDIATELY obeyed, with no whining or complaining. We have also been using the iPad app I mentioned yesterday for bedtime and morning routines. Is it a coincidence that he used the bathroom TWICE tonight completely on his own?! (This NEVER happens. Seriously. Nevvvver.)

I have not received an initial super-supportive response to all of this new info from all parties at Elijah's school, which is disheartening. His school is not familiar with NLD, which is totally understandable, but I wish we would have received the "we will do what we can to make sure Elijah gets the support he needs" response that I was hoping for. From what I understand, even though Elijah was given a diagnosis of ASD by a medical professional, that may not apply in the school system. Also, I was told that NLD is a "diagnosis that is not recognized," which seems totally ludicrous. More to come on all of this, as I'm sure this story will quickly unfold. E's school social worker wants to hold another IEP meeting with the whole team before the end of the year to address all of this new information. I am very much in support of this and grateful she suggested it.

I also gave a copy of Dr. M's report to E's PT/OT tonight. His PT has worked with him since he was a tiny babe, so I appreciate her level of interest, concern, knowledge and compassion as well as her commitment to read through 18 pages of results without complaint. She assured me she would read through the entire report and give me her thoughts next week. Dan and I are finding that we so greatly appreciate professionals who genuinely appreciate our situation and we lean on these people. We have sent up major prayers for his 2nd grade school year and that we become connected with people who listen and genuinely care. This will make or break second grade!

One last thing and then I'll stop, I promise! One of the things I read on an NLD site today is how mothers of NLD kids are often perceived as being super overly protective. Uhhhh, YES! ME! I've been labeled as "overly protective" by family members and friends over the years, and I've always felt defensive. I have always fully understood Elijah's capabilities and limitations and I find myself often thinking or saying (or both), "But he can't DO that!" Not because I have ever wanted to limit him! Goodness, I am an adventurer myself and I wish for the same qualities in my children. I just happen to know that Elijah CANNOT DO CERTAIN THINGS. As his mother, I know what he is and is not capable of and I'm not afraid to protect him. Now I know why and that helps. It also helps to know that I haven't been unwarranted in my over-protectedness. Here is a quote from the following website: http://www.ldonline.org/article/6114/
"The myth of the 'overprotective mother' needs to be dismissed; parents and professionals must both assume a 'protective' and helpful role with the child with NLD. Dr. Rourke states, 'Although sensitive caregivers are often accused of 'overprotection', it is clear that they may be the only ones who have an appreciation for the child's vulnerability and lack of appropriate skill development.' Care and discretion need to be taken to shield the child from teasing, persecution, and other sources of anxiety. Independence should be introduced gradually, in controlled, non-threatening situations. The more completely those around her understand this child and her particular strengths and weaknesses, the better prepared they will be to promote attitudes of personal independence. Never leave this child to her own devices in new activities or situations which lack sufficient structure."

That's all for today. Whew, that was a lot! Sorry if I bored you. Thanks for checking in and have a WONDERFUL rest of your week! We love all of you..xo

Huge puzzle pieces clicking into place!

For the better part of the past year, we have been waiting for the last of the puzzle pieces to click into place. I have felt so strongly in my heart that big stones were left unturned and that there was so much more to discover about Elijah. Things have become so complicated with him in the past few months and years. Sleep and attention and toileting and behavior and repetitious behaviors and social difficulties and outbursts and frustration and anxiety and tantrums have all compiled on top of one another. All of the above are affected by and also affect all of the other above challenges. I've felt like we have been slooooowly clicking puzzle pieces into place, learning more about how our sweet oldest boy operates.

After yesterday's appointment with E's neuropsychologist, I feel like we have gotten as close as possible to completing the Elijah Puzzle. Dan and I sat with Dr. M and listened to an hour and a half's worth of results/findings/thoughts/speculations/recommendations. We walked away feeling enlightened and excited. We have answers!

Dr. M began by talking about the things we already know. Elijah has an extensive medical history. Medical incidents/diagnoses stacked upon hospitalizations stacked upon health issues and intubations and anesthesia and a lack of proper blood flow/oxygen and significantly delayed development...his medical history in itself is a lot to comprehend. When all of the above is present, particularly a lack of blood flow and oxygenation, the brain can be affected. The main guess at this point is that certain pathways in Elijah's brain were damaged due to any or all of the above, which caused his brain to create new pathways or ways of being wired. We'll call them Elijah-ways. In certain ways, Elijah's brain does not process information like most brains do. Certain tasks that come easily for his classmates/peers are VERY challenging for him.

First of all, Dr. M totally and completely ruled out ADD, ADHD and OCD. Interesting! But it will all make sense in a minute.

Elijah received three new diagnoses, all of which we believe will help him immensely in the school system and at home and in the world, as well. We have known since he was a baby that Elijah has displayed "tendencies" toward autism but given his desire to engage others and to be social with others, his doctors and educators have always shied away from this label. Dr. M thought that based on the description of his struggles in the social/cognitive realm and based on the information I provided at our initial consultation, Elijah is indeed on "the spectrum." He sees it more as a way to focus on appropriate intervention for him than anything else. He can receive a more appropriate label at school and get help in many other areas than just deaf and hard of hearing. Dr. M explained to us that he has classified Elijah in the highest functioning category of ASD. Most likely, he was not genetically predisposed to have ASD, but came by it through other means (extensive medical).

His second diagnosis is called Motor Dysgraphia and this indicates that Elijah has significantly impaired perceptual-motor difficulties and visual-motor integration due to motor delays. If somebody asks him to write five perfectly-formed sentences in five minutes, he physically would not be able to complete the task. He has always had significantly delayed motor skills. He has come SO FAR, but this still really limits his abilities which is why the doctor wanted to give it a label. It is significant enough that it needs to be noted in medical terms.

The third diagnosis was the most interesting and for Dan and me, the most important piece of the puzzle thus far in Elijah's life. This is the piece we've been waiting to click into place for YEARS. He has what is called Nonverbal Learning Disability, which means that he is unable to process information that enters his brain in any other way than verbally or through written words. Pictures and visuals mean NOTHING to him. They confuse him and frustrate him. He can look at a picture of a person putting a finger to his mouth and not have any idea that that means he should quiet down. In fact, he becomes frustrated about not understanding what it means and acts out in response.

In order for Elijah to understand a concept, he needs to hear it verbally (or see it written...or both) in very literal terms. He cannot connect dots or generalize or perceive body language/social cues or draw a picture of a generalized concept. He scored "superior" in the areas of auditory attention and verbal fluency during his recent testing, but was "borderline impaired" on much of the visual portions. At times, we have been speaking a language to Elijah that he does not understand.

This changes so much! And this explains the OCD/ADD characteristics we've seen recently. These qualities have most likely been a result of anxieties surrounding being misunderstood/frustrated. This new amazing doctor gave us many suggestions and resources and iPad apps to help us all out. Having the new knowledge that E needs verbal and written step-by-step instructions, we are viewing so many issues in a totally different way, such as using the toilet, getting ready for school and completing homework. This morning we had a new app set up for him that had his morning routine spelled out in words, as well as verbally spoken to him. He was able to cross off each task as he completed it. HE LOVED IT! It was genuinely fun for him. We watched him use the toilet on his own for one of the first times ever.

This new news sheds light on Elijah's social struggles, as well. He does not understand body language or other social cues appropriately, so he struggles when relating to his peers. This causes anxiety, which makes everything else difficult for him. We are hoping that if we can tackle some of Elijah's "learning" challenges in a proactive way, his anxiety will be lessened and his confidence and sleep will improve.

This is a lot of information to absorb and I literally will read the doctor's 18-page report daily until I "get" it all. Dan and I are still in the processing stages, but I wanted to get these initial thoughts out. Thanks for reading this entire post! Phew! :) We would appreciate prayers for proper direction on how to parent/teach our oldest boy. THANK YOU! More to come..