Empty Tanks and Boys I Love

After finally feeling so much better last week, I managed to cram WAY too many things into our schedule and ended up burning myself out. By Sunday night I was a mess and things unraveled. Elijah had a major meltdown, the dish I was supposed to bring to Life Group tasted horribly and I felt like screaming at everyone. On our way to Life Group Sunday night, we made the decision to turn around and go back home. WHY do I do this to myself? When I'm feeling good I try to do it all and then suddenly my tank is way past empty. Then I either get sick or need to sleep it off. Then I feel better and it starts all over. HELP! :)

And then I walk in on moments like this and feel so happy..

Buddy and I had a rough day. I kept thinking about all of the work I could be doing but can't because of his chewing and his need to get out so much. I was frustrated and I know he senses that. When the boys got off the bus I saw that Elijah was wearing different, foreign pants and I knew that meant there had been a significant accident at school. My heart sank. This has been an issue again recently and it makes my mama heart so sad. I know this has to be affecting his relationships at school (I had to witness some teasing firsthand) and I just want him to WANT to take control of this. I know that he does everything in his own time and that we will get there, but in the meantime it is very, very frustrating.

Since it was Elijah's last OT visit for a while (more on this in a bit!), I decided it wouldn't hurt to bring Buddy on our journey and let him chill in the car. Thirty seconds down the road, Buddy was crawling BEHIND me as I was trying to drive. Then he was digging in my purse for an old cracker that he smelled. I turned the car around and drove like an angry maniac back home and put him in his kennel. I was frustrated and both boys sensed it and turned on the good behavior and sweetness. The rest of the day was a breeze with them.

Elijah graduated from Occupational Therapy today! His OT felt like he has been doing so well with everything that we can take a significant break. We are planning to take the rest of the spring and entire summer off and re-evaluate in the fall. This is great! It means he has made tons of progress and it also means we free up an extra night every week.

With Elijah in his last OT session for a while and Buddy at home, I thought Sammy and I needed a mini-date. We went to the nearest coffee shop and enjoyed some one-on-one time together. We played the question game and I told him how VERY special he is to me, even when things are crazy. Our time together was so special!

Once Dan got home tonight I was able to put the dishes AND laundry away! Wooo! Exciting! :) Tomorrow will certainly bring new adventures! Thanks for peeking in.

Brotherly love!

The past few days have gone like this: up, down, up, down, down, up. We have had good stretches and challenging stretches. E's sleep on Friday night was the worst I have ever seen (and that's saying a lot). Last night was great (for him)! We continue to pray for many more nights of good rest. At this point we are taking it one day at a time, praying for healing for Elijah. We had him prayed over in church this morning and Dan and I felt really good about it. 

These boys love each other SO MUCH. They hate being separated and when they are, I hear, "I miss my BROTHER!" They still really enjoy bath time together.

Introducing ghost-blanket Elijah...

And what is wrong with this picture?

I have a few solid weeks of concentrated boy time on my hands. Please pray that we will all be productive, happy and SANE! We are hoping to get homebound schooling set up in the next few days for E. We are all looking forward to being much more rested. I know it will come!

Thanks for peeking in. Have a great week!

Pumpkins, Halloween and meetings at school.

Do I say this every week? Working away from home full time makes the time absolutely fly by! This is my fifth week working in Cannon Falls for the fall and I miss my boys so much. The Sammy and Elijah hugs I get upon returning home every evening are the sweetest things about my entire day.

Halloween was fun! We did our annual family pumpkin-carving evening one day last week. The boys were more involved than they have ever been before. 

Here is Dan, intent in his carving. Notice Elijah's tired gaze? This is something we see a lot lately.

Sammy and I carved our pumpkin in no time. Ghosts in the graveyard.

Sammy hiding from a photo, as usual!

The gooey stuff around Frankenstein's carvings is glow-in-the-dark paint.

The one typical NLD characteristic that Elijah definitely does NOT have is limited facial expressions. :)

My silly, adorable Sammy.

The boys scored with candy on Halloween. We took them to a nearby mall for trick-or-treating and then brought them back home to go to a few houses in our neighborhood. They love handing out candy to kids who stop by our house, so we always make sure to leave room for that. When the doorbell rang, they would RUN to the door and hand out candy while shaking (Elijah) out of excitement.

This year Sammy did what I used to do as a kid. He laid his candy in rows and counted it all. He memorized exactly what he had. I know this because I may have stolen candy from his pumpkin after he was asleep and he totally busted me the next day. He blamed it on Elijah..."ELIJAH STOLE MY COLORFUL LICORICE!" I haven't touched his pumpkin since. The kid knows. Don't mess with Sammy's candy.

I got costumes for the boys last summer super cheap, but Sammy insisted on wearing his robot costume for the THIRD year in a row. :) He might still be wearing this when he's 12. He did willingly wear his cute new Toy Story alien costume a few weeks ago at another Halloween party. Could two boys possibly be any cuter?!

Cute blue super-crayon (Elijah added the "scary mask") and robot, trick-or-treating at the mall!

And this is what I walked in on this morning before leaving for work. Genuine early morning brotherly love. These two love each other so much!

Dan and I had another meeting with Elijah's team at school this week. It was a tough one for us. We were informed that Elijah's behavior has been getting progressively worse while at school, which has included frequent physical aggression and name calling. Dan and I were both startled by some of the things we read in the eval report. Since, we have been in closer communication with his teacher so we can appropriately discipline on days when he becomes physical and calls names.

Next week is our official IEP meeting. In this week's meeting, his teacher pushed for getting an aide in the class who would be solely dedicated to Elijah. She told the team that she pretty much has most of her focus on one child throughout the majority of every day....Elijah. :( That obviously stretches her and detracts from her relationships with the other children. Dan and I are on board with this, so we will see what the team thinks next Wednesday.

Still, we do not feel understood. It seems like the majority is placing focus on ASD instead of NLD, which makes sense considering his new special-education label at school is ASD. I kept mentioning Elijah's tank being totally empty and him being above boiling point, but I received a lot of empty stares back.

I called Dr. M, E's neuropsych, today and asked if he would be willing to come to school to chat with the team. He said he absolutely would! Music to my ears. I feel like he could word things differently and not be the "protective mother" that people hear in these meetings. I'll attempt to set up a meeting for early December so that can happen.

More later. I'm tired. Dan will be away for the weekend hunting, so the little boys and I have some fun planned (cleaning! baking! sleeping!). Thanks for peeking in. Have a great weekend!

Second grade, here we come (and some funnies, too)!

How is it possible that Elijah is in second grade?! That seems so hard to believe. After we got him on the bus this morning, I found myself thinking back on his precious little life up till now. I remember being in the NICU with him when he was a few days old and having a nurse tell us that these kids (heart kids) are special. They are unique and awesome and they stand out. Seven and a half years later...YEP! That describes our awesome oldest boy! I was filling out a paper from E's teacher and she asked us to describe him in three words. Ha! Three words?! I said, "Elijah, describe yourself in three words." Without skipping a beat, he said, "Smart, awesome and cute!" :)

Dan and I met with E's teacher, Mrs. G, last week. She was SO kind and comforting and we both got a really good feeling about her. We are grateful. I know we will likely have struggles on some level this year, but I have a feeling it'll be a much different story than last year. Elijah has matured and we have learned so much about how he thinks and operates.

This morning before school, as I was combing and re-combing Elijah's hair so it would stay down, he said to me, "Awww. I'm going to miss my brother today." Just before E got onto the bus, Sammy hugged him violently and said, "I'm going to MISS you, my cute, sweet BUDDY!" These boys love each other sooo much. When E's bus rolled up to our house this afternoon, Sammy RAN to it, screaming, "MY BUDDYYYYYY!!!!!"

And on a Sammy note...oh my goodness, he is so funny and precious! I have a few boy (mostly Sam) funnies to share from recently..

Me: I love you, Sammy.
Sammy: I love your body but I do NOT love your head.
(pretty sure the translation for this is: Please stop talking, Mother!)

Sammy: Daddy, I love you.
Dan: I love you, too, Sammy. I love our whole family.
S: Hands down, we have the best family EVER.

He has been so smart lately with the way he responds to being upset with us. Instead of punching or kicking (thank goodness this reaction seems to be fading), he will throw out the words instead. Here are a few examples:

I'm going to catch Daddy in a giant net.
I'm going to catch Daddy in a giant tornado.
I'm going to explode Mommy.
I'm going to pop Mommy's head off.
I'm going to run away from you.
I'm never going to be in your family again.
I'm going to lock my door forever.
I'm never getting out of this car again.
I don't love you.

Elijah (upon seeing Dan walk by with his hair pulled back in a ponytail): What the heck?! Why is there a ponytail on the back of Daddy's head?
Sammy: Is Daddy MOMMY?!

I don't think I ever wrote about this one, but it definitely needs to be told! While we were in Iowa for our family reunion last month, I brought Sammy downstairs to the bedroom for a time-out. I told him to stay there until he was ready to be kind and use kind words. As I left the room, I heard the door lock behind me. "Sammy, open the door, please!" "NO." "Open the door NOW." ....long pause....then Sammy said from the other side of the locked door, "RUDE WOMAN IN THE AREA!" I about died laughing. I ran upstairs to tell my family and they laughed, too. Then..back downstairs to get through the door that was being guarded by the Sassy Sam. :)

The boys, especially Elijah, fell asleep QUICKLY tonight. Novel situations and times of transition are particularly scary for him, so please pray with us for a positive school year and a seamless adjustment period. Our family has a CRAZY couple of months ahead of us, so I'm doing my best not to think too much about it. We'll get through it, right?!

Thanks for peeking in! Have a great week.

State Fair 2014

I have the most handsome boys on the planet! Sorting through these pics, I'm realizing how many close-ups I took of my three boys at the State Fair this year.

We had such a fun trip there this week, as we always do. We counted out years and figured that Elijah has been to NINE Fairs (including when he was in my tummy) and Sammy has been to five. 

We always start out with a massive Pronto Pup. :)

Then we move onto Sweet Martha's Cookies. The boys' favorite.

We tried a few new things this year, like this dreamsicle smoothie that the boys sucked down in 60 seconds. Another new favorite: reuben bites.

Sammy was so excited about seeing Cowwy's (his favorite stuffed animal) family! "LOOK! It's Cowwy's family! Take a picture!"

Our standard Oink Booth crown pic that I take every year.

Sammy was excited to see the "Daddy Pig" (MN's largest boar).

Aww, love this one.

It took MUCH effort and many tears to capture this photo. I'm glad we made it happen.

Waiting in line to get my age guessed.

Sammy, snuggling with his new I-Love-You-Monkey.

In previous years only Elijah has wanted to go on the ferris wheel, but this year Sammy joined us. Can you spot their cute faces?

Last year Elijah would not go on the Giant Slide because the previous year had traumatized him. I talked him into going this year and he was a little scared, but loved it once it was done.

The boys' first time ever eating snow cones!

As usual, we ended with the kid rides. The boys have a love-hate relationship with the Winky the Whale ride. They love it once it gets going, but anticipating the strange noise it makes drives them just about crazy!

Elijah rode on the little swings alone while Sammy watched.

Then Sammy decided he reeeeallly wanted to go, too, but only if Elijah could sit right behind him. Once the ride got going, he reached back for Elijah's hand and they held hands for the duration of the ride. It was the sweetest thing ever, and it totally calmed him.

My favorite pic of the day.

Note to self: buy THREE sheets of ride tickets in advance next year. Now that the boys are older and enjoying more things, we go through them quickly.

Super excited to be exiting the Wacky House.

The boys each won a handful of toys and had plenty of sugar in their bellies at the end of the day.

We spent a family record amount of time at the Fair--FIVE hours! That's a lot for us.

Dan and I had saved money up specifically for the Fair and had a tiny bit "extra" in the end. So we caved when the boys pleaded for us to buy them a fluffy unicorn from Despicable Me.

Fluffy Unicorn is treated like royalty in our house. She gets tucked into her bed in the loft every night and is gently awakened every morning.

It's so sad that our Fair time is done this summer! That means Fall is near. :( We had such a fun time and we are thankful that we are able to do this as a family every year.