Empty Tanks and Boys I Love

After finally feeling so much better last week, I managed to cram WAY too many things into our schedule and ended up burning myself out. By Sunday night I was a mess and things unraveled. Elijah had a major meltdown, the dish I was supposed to bring to Life Group tasted horribly and I felt like screaming at everyone. On our way to Life Group Sunday night, we made the decision to turn around and go back home. WHY do I do this to myself? When I'm feeling good I try to do it all and then suddenly my tank is way past empty. Then I either get sick or need to sleep it off. Then I feel better and it starts all over. HELP! :)

And then I walk in on moments like this and feel so happy..

Buddy and I had a rough day. I kept thinking about all of the work I could be doing but can't because of his chewing and his need to get out so much. I was frustrated and I know he senses that. When the boys got off the bus I saw that Elijah was wearing different, foreign pants and I knew that meant there had been a significant accident at school. My heart sank. This has been an issue again recently and it makes my mama heart so sad. I know this has to be affecting his relationships at school (I had to witness some teasing firsthand) and I just want him to WANT to take control of this. I know that he does everything in his own time and that we will get there, but in the meantime it is very, very frustrating.

Since it was Elijah's last OT visit for a while (more on this in a bit!), I decided it wouldn't hurt to bring Buddy on our journey and let him chill in the car. Thirty seconds down the road, Buddy was crawling BEHIND me as I was trying to drive. Then he was digging in my purse for an old cracker that he smelled. I turned the car around and drove like an angry maniac back home and put him in his kennel. I was frustrated and both boys sensed it and turned on the good behavior and sweetness. The rest of the day was a breeze with them.

Elijah graduated from Occupational Therapy today! His OT felt like he has been doing so well with everything that we can take a significant break. We are planning to take the rest of the spring and entire summer off and re-evaluate in the fall. This is great! It means he has made tons of progress and it also means we free up an extra night every week.

With Elijah in his last OT session for a while and Buddy at home, I thought Sammy and I needed a mini-date. We went to the nearest coffee shop and enjoyed some one-on-one time together. We played the question game and I told him how VERY special he is to me, even when things are crazy. Our time together was so special!

Once Dan got home tonight I was able to put the dishes AND laundry away! Wooo! Exciting! :) Tomorrow will certainly bring new adventures! Thanks for peeking in.

Desperately seeking sanity

Today will never be forgotten in this mama's mind. It was one of my most challenging days being a mother. Elijah's behavior has escalated to a degree that I never imagined it could. I don't know how many more days like today I can stomach! Please pray for my sanity and for Elijah to feel peaceful! 

We have stayed very busy and that likely has been a contributing factor to the madness. On Friday the little boys and I were able to go to the zoo for a few hours, courtesy Hope Kids. We had fun!  We scurried around and saw as many animals as we could before bedtime crept up on us. Here are the boys in the "stinky jungle." :)

Dan made it home safely from DC on Tuesday night. The following pics are moments the boys asked me to capture and send to him while he was away. 

Elijah re-started OT/PT this week! We decided to take a break back in February when life was really overwhelming, so we will see how it goes starting back up. Both his OT and PT did testing on Wednesday to see how much service he will be able to receive. His PT called me back at the end of the session to show me Elijah's new accomplishment! He never would have done this a few months ago!

The boys and I have been loving on a few plants this spring. It has been fun watching them grow. Elijah and Sammy get so excited to water their flowers and veggies!

We made it to the pool for the first time early this week. Elijah is so much more capable in shallow water. I worry much less than I did last year about him wading around. He starts another round of swim lessons next week, so things will only improve!

And guess what?! Sammy did not even hesitate to remove his shirt and socks. WOW! He got into the pool right away. WOW! He even got upset when I told him to stay a little bit closer to me. In fact, I believe he said something like, "I'm going to swim away from you FOREVER!" See how that works out for you, Sammy!

Elijah has his first appointment tomorrow with a new psychologist. The timing is great. I/We need her more than ever. Thanks for checking in!

Elijah's 5-year well visit

I took Elijah to see our wonderful and beloved Dr. Judy today for his 5-year well visit. I know I have mentioned this about a thousand times before, but we have been so incredibly blessed with the best doctors. We love Dr. Judy!



Elijah's height was exactly equal to his weight! 40 inches tall (3rd percentile) and 40 pounds (44th percentile). At his last visit he wasn't on the chart for height, so I was happy to see that he was on it this time.



We talked at length about his potty training issues, and Dr. J assured me that we are doing everything we can possibly do. She gave me a few suggestions, so we will try those and see what happens! It was nice to hear from her that considering his history (strong will + medical) that this isn't totally unusual.

She also suggested that Elijah start occupational therapy, in addition to his weekly physical therapy. He could use some help with self-care tasks and potty-related tasks, as well. I talked to his PT tonight and she 100% agreed! In fact, she said that she had secretly put him on the OT waiting list about a month ago. So we are going to try to get him on the schedule to receive weekly OT and PT.



There is a little mole on E's back that I have been keeping an eye on. It has started growing, and the center has started to darken. Dr. J thought that we should take care of it immediately. Her thought was that we could piggy-back on his upcoming heart cath and have a general surgeon come in and snip it off quick while he is sedated. Oh, have I mentioned the upcoming heart cath? April 18th is the day. We had to move the date up a bit due to insurance concerns. Hopefully we can get the mole taken care of at that time. I will call Dr. G this week to get his thoughts.



Elijah had to get three vaccinations today, and he was a brave boy. He got three prizes, so that seemed to ease any pain that was caused.

Dr. J was in disbelief about his poor eyesight and recent need for glasses. She showed me the results of his eye exam from one year ago. He had 20/32 vision in both eyes! A month ago, the vision in his left eye was 20/400!

Remember Elijah's fall off of a chair and onto the tile floor about 6 weeks ago? The bump on his head is still there, and still rather large. Dr. J said that was normal for such a trauma. Elijah still complains about pain from that area on occasion, but she said that was normal, as well. Good to know!

Overall it was a great visit, as usual. Our monkey is doing great and we are so very proud of him.

I tried my best to talk Dr. J into skydiving with Dan this summer! She said she would consider it. :)