Happy 2016!

We got home last night from our week in southern Indiana. The boys did GREAT in the car. They are such great travelers and I'm thankful for that, considering how much I enjoy galavanting around the country. Time with family was good. I have photos to share, but I've been too lazy to retrieve my camera. Or...too busy. We have been unpacking, packing, cleaning and doing more organizing since we have been home. Our Christmas tree is sadly gone, as are all of our decorations. This took a toll on Sammy. He has a tough time with this every year. He sat on the couch for 30 minutes today, sucking his thumb and processing the end of Christmas 2015. Eventually he picked himself back up and helped to pack up the decorations. He even helped to label the boxes.

Sammy has spent most of the past week sick. He has had a fever off and on, a goopy nose and a cough that kept him up for a few nights on our trip. Dan and I brought him to urgent care in Indiana because his fever and cough worried us enough. The doctor started him on antibiotics and ever since he has slowly been getting better. We got up to head back home yesterday morning and I knew I had caught Sammy's sickness. I have mostly pushed through it, but tonight I am feeling an ear infection invading the right side of my head. Dan is feeding me garlic and rubbing Thieves on my back, so hopefully those things help.

We all came home from vacation EXHAUSTED. It wasn't the restful reprieve we had hoped for, but we are glad we went. It was nice spending time with my dad, stepmom, brother and bro's girlfriend. The boys had such a good time and they (especially Sammy) fell in love with my brother's dog. When I asked Sammy what he missed the most from vacation he said, "The puppy, technology and eating SUGAR!" :)

Christmas is done, the new year is here and tomorrow we will mentally prepare for school and work on Monday. I pray that you all had a wonderful past few weeks being with friends and family! Happy 2016! May this year bring MANY blessings for you all!

Good-bye, Croup! Hello, chores!

Dan was traveling for work over the weekend, so the boys and I hung out. Sammy's croup from last week lingered and he just could not shake it. By Sunday night it was almost worse than it was last Wednesday! His breathing was super tight, even after Pulmicort and Albuterol nebs. I went in to check on him before I went to sleep and at rest his breathing was strained. Ugh. If Dan would have been here, I would have taken him to the ER. With Dan gone I knew I couldn't do that without waking Elijah up. I tried all of our tricks and they collectively helped enough to get through the night. I put his wiggle-worm body into bed with me and got NO sleep, but I liked being able to hear his breathing as he slept. I was so thankful when morning arrived. I called right away and got him in to see a doctor. The dr gave him a huge oral dose of decadron (steroid) to wipe it out. It helped, but very slowly. Even today, he still sounds a little bit tight. That nasty croup loves to linger in his little body!

Waiting for the doctor...again..

Ever since Daylight Savings, Elijah has been struggling a little bit extra. It is slowly getting better. He is gradually waking up later in the morning (4:30ish now, yay!) and by evening he is SO TIRED. He will even say things like, "I...am....SO TIRED." He has NEVER claimed tiredness before. I've also noticed that right before bed strange things begin happening to his body. He gets headaches and he also gets scratchy, jittery and antsy. Tonight he had some weird pains in his chest (this one always freaks me out), he felt dizzy and his head got super scratchy. I laid down on the floor with him for a bit and just hugged him before we got ready for bed. I cannot imagine how he must feel. I know it feels different than what most of us feel. While I was lying on the floor with him, he said, "Mom? Am I dumb?" I assured him that he is so super duper smart. He said that when he makes bad decisions at school, he is sure the other kids think he is dumb. This is perhaps the first time he has been aware of others noticing certain behaviors of his. I told my sweet boy that he is kind and so smart and that anyone who thinks he is anything but that is not worth spending time with. Some people will never understand (that applies to all of us!) and that is ok.

We started a new chore system where the boys can earn money by helping out around the house. I included a few things that they are struggling with like, um, LISTENING! They can earn $0.25 just by obeying after the first request! Elijah wants to earn $9.99 to buy a book at next week's book fair, so he is motivated! It is nice to have a motivated boy around here. Shoes are being put away, coats are being hung, recycling is being carried to the garage and dishes are being brought to the counter. These boys have gotten out of control with their potty talk, so hopefully this new plan will help that, as well.

It hasn't been the greatest of weeks, but thinking back to last year at this time....things are GREAT! After school today I got 45 minutes of quality snuggles from BOTH boys...with NO boy fights! It was heavenly. Elijah has a new behavioral aide who will be coming by our home a few hours/week. We are all super excited about this! We have some fun plans coming up these next few weekends. The boys are getting excited for the holidays. It is so much fun to see their excitement and to have energy to enjoy things this year.

Thanks for checking in!

Croup: Season 5, Episode 2 (Samson)

I've been hoping that Elijah's sickness from last week would pass right over Sammy, but no such luck. Sam was sounding croupy before bed last night, so we gave him a TINY preventative dose of oral steroids. He was up at 9:00 coughing and barking. I have to say that he is SO calm and sweet when he is sick. He wraps his little arms around my neck so sweetly. We sat in a steamy bathroom and then Dan brought him outside. Then, as I usually do when the boys are sick, I brought him to bed with us. He was wheezy for most of the night, but stayed calm and that helped to not send him into a full-blown episode. He took up ALL of my side of the bed, so I literally slept on 6 inches of the edge and wrapped my legs around the bottom of the bed. I think Elijah got the best night of sleep out of all of us for maybe the first time ever!

Sammy took a nap at daycare today and woke up with another croup episode. Ever since, he has been wheezy/barky. We took every preventative measure we could think of before bed tonight. He still sounds rough despite our efforts and I'm fully expecting another round tonight. Poor dude.

It has been a TIRING week. I worked 20 hours in Cannon Falls in addition to accomplishing just about everything else I normally accomplish in a week. I went on a field trip with E's class on Tuesday and had so much fun inspecting samples from a pond at a nature reserve. I have always loved going on field trips with him (minus a few nightmares from first grade). Sammy had a cute soccer practice last night. He is starting to feel more comfortable on the field. I LOVE watching him run around and have fun with other kids, even though he doesn't interact a ton with them yet.

I have 20 minutes of work to do and then I am putting this computer down and turning into a vegetable for the evening! Have a GREAT weekend, everyone! Be safe and have fun!

Croup: Season 5, Episode 1 (Samson)...AND a cardiology visit!

Our sweet Sammy was up at 9:00 last night with a barky cough and a teeny tiny fever. He and Dan sat in a steamy bathroom and then outside for a bit. It was fairly mild and improved enough to not consider medicine. Then I let him do the customary sleep-with-mama for a bit afterward. It's been a while since Sammy has slept with me. I'd forgotten that he likes to literally drape himself over my body and then fall asleep. Minimal sleep was occurring for the mama in the bed, so by midnight I put him back in his own bed. He did fine the rest of the night and just had a lingering runny nose and tiny cough today.

In other news, Dan brought Elijah to his 6-month cardiology check-up today. I had a bit of a nervous tummy about it (as always). Six months ago Dr. G had been surprised by how well Elijah's heart was doing, so I thought maybe this would be "the time" when we would hear "stuff" could be in the near future. I was wrong! His heart has mild stenosis (way milder than what he had expected), his valve has a tiny bit of leakage (very minimal) and heart function looks just great! We'll go back in six months! Again he told Dan that five years from surgery is a standard timeframe to expect the next surgery. That would be 2016 for Elijah, but hopefully in his case we will extend that a year or two! It always feels SO GOOD when Elijah is cleared for another six months! This is HUGE sigh of relief! And now we know that Elijah's overwhelmed exhaustion has nothing to do with his heart and everything to do with his brain.

Other than that, we are kind of doing bare minimum these days. On the days when we get Elijah to complete a sheet of homework or when I get a load of laundry folded AND put away I feel super accomplished. Dan and I are both working as much as possible while we can. This time of year provides opportunities for money for both of us, so we try to take advantage of that despite feeling like our family is being stretched in many directions. We have had a few weekend family days together lately, which has been SOOOo nice. But usually when one of us gets home, the other is leaving to go to work. I am definitely not complaining! We are so grateful to have work right now!!

I still haven't heard whether or not Dr. M #1 has connected with school. In the meantime, I've been PRAYING that Dr. M #2 will agree to write a note to shorten E's school days asap. Today I spoke with an advocate from PACER center and while she had a few good pointers for us for when we attend meetings, we are already doing everything she suggested. I'm excited to get E's days shortened because then we can actually work on lessening some of his anxieties. I want to get him swimming and playing a musical instrument. Both of these things I know would be VERY calming for him, but at the present time we cannot fit either into our schedule. Dan and I have something else in the works that we're hoping will pan out and that will help him immensely. I'll wait until we are 100% committed and then share!

Soon I will share photos from our yearly corn maze adventure! This past weekend I took the boys to Pumpkins in the Park, hosted by our city's schools. It was fun! The weather was gorgeous and the boys got candy and pumpkins and a few other treats. Tomorrow E gets to wear pajamas to school (a special class treat!) and then he has the rest of the week off. We have a few other doctor's appointments coming up this week and next, too. I hope this post made sense! I'm tired! Have a good night!

Going to bat

This post comes to you from one tired mama. I could fuel a skydiving plane, at least for a few loads, with the energy I have put into THINKING...and not sleeping...this week. It's been totally worth it, though! We are making progress!

Although Elijah's case manager and teacher are doing so much for him at school (they really have put TONS of effort, thought and love into our boy already this year!), I still don't feel like they truly understand the weight of the situation. I don't mean to sound ungrateful or negative at all because I am sincerely so happy about the team that is caring for him. It'll take some time. Eventually they will understand that while all the tactics and tricks are great and may be helpful short-term, we need to get to the root of the problem: Elijah's brain cannot handle full days at school. Or...it CAN (with the help of the tactics and tricks) but then he has NO reserves. He uses every bit of his energy to survive the school day. We are unable to ever do anything past 6:00 in the evening because if he's not in bed by 6:30, his sleep suffers and things escalate. Weekends have to remain super low-key. Not to mention the impact this is having on our family! Dan and I are stressed and tired. Elijah is having a difficult time controlling his emotions, which sets a bad example for Sammy (who is now mimicking his brother's outbursts).

I have been honest with his teachers. I have told them what he needs and what is going to transpire (ugly behavior turns super ugly turns super-duper ugly) if we continue to patch the symptoms. They have asked for more time to try other things, but ultimately Dan and I know that the kid just needs less on his plate.

I called Dr. M today, Elijah's neuropsychologist. I wanted to run the situation by him. He heard me and he agreed. The things that are being done at school are GREAT! But these "solutions" are band-aids. We need to get to the root of the issue if we truly want what is best for Elijah. I mentioned the partial-day idea and he suggested first trying a few hours of in-school downtime at the end of every day. I'm learning that educators and medical professionals want to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to keep children in the school building! I totally get that for the majority of children, but for a kid who has soooo many strikes against him and has endured sooooo many struggles and is sooooo depleted/exhausted/miserable, etc etc etc?!

Dr. M offered to chat on the phone with Elijah's case manager. He is going to suggest the in-school free time and if that's not an option he'll stand behind us on doing partial days. I am so happy about this! Dan and I are hoping Elijah's team at school will see the need for this and understand our genuine intentions and still trust us. The bottom line is that Elijah has endured so much in his life and we refuse to see him suffer any more when we know there is a viable solution! If there is a way to make things easier for him, we are going to fight for it. We KNOW what he needs right now (or at least what a good first step is) and we pray that his educators will trust us.

And for those of you who have left sweet comments and sent emails about home-schooling...thank you so much for your thoughts! I don't foresee things getting out of control, but if they do we may explore another avenue short-term. We want Elijah in school for a couple of reasons. He needs to be "pushed" socially...and daily (not too much, obviously). Also, I believe that school (as much as his brain can handle) is strengthening his endurance and will help him out so much in the long run. I don't feel like home-schooling would push him enough, but full days at school push him too far at this point in his life. We need to find a middle ground and we are HOPING that can happen in a school setting and we will do everything we can to make that work.

Thanks for reading and for all of your support and suggestions. We cherish every note, thought and prayer! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Too much.

We are still processing the awesome, amazing, miraculous news we received this week. I still just can't believe it! In the midst of that we have been dealing with some struggles. Some of the same things we saw in Elijah during last year's rough stretches are slowly popping back up. Beginning on Monday of this week I noticed the checked-out exhausted look return to his face. I've noticed the up-and-down eye fluttering a few times this week and I haven't seen that since his really rough stretch last winter. He has been waking up between 3:00 and 4:00am for the day again. That hasn't happened since last school year either. He has been much more defiant and rigid this week, as well.

Tuesday and Wednesday were rough days at school for him. He was screaming at his teacher and not being kind to classmates. I had a chat with his teacher who presented all of this to me in such a kind, positive and concerned manner. That night I laid in bed for hours pondering everything. It was worth the missed sleep because I feel like I figured out a MAJOR thing!

Full days at school are simply too much for Elijah to handle right now. We all know how rough last fall was for him. During the stretch of time after his ear surgery when he was going to school for 1/2 and 3/4 days he had NO issues at school. Then in May when he was back full-time again, he started struggling again. The day after school was done we left for our big road trip and that was rough. I piled a two-week-long vacation (way too much) on top of a month of full-time school (too much).

He did really great overall this summer once we were home and settled back in. The first two weeks of school were good. And now, on week three, things are slowly beginning to unravel. This is about when it started to happen last year.

I want to cut back Elijah's school days at least a few days a week. I KNOW this is what we need to do right now. We have tried everything under the sun to help him. We've focused on sleep, anxiety, diet, specific behaviors, etc. History shows that the only thing that has helped is not giving him TOO MUCH. What a great silver lining from a really difficult surgery and recovery! I never would have figured this out without that period of time when he was going to school for shortened days.

Elijah's awesome team at school has arranged a meeting to discuss these recent thoughts. We'll do that on Tuesday of next week. I have no idea how this will be received and what will need to happen to get what is best for Elijah. I am praying that there will be a way to shorten his school days and that his team will support us.

I feel so bad for Elijah. I feel terrible for giving him way more than he can handle and expecting him to behave appropriately on top of that. Poor guy.

Thanks for peeking in and we would greatly appreciate prayers that we can get Elijah what he needs to have a fun and successful second grade year!

Burning eyeballs

We must be super busy because I haven't had a free moment to sit down and write a post! My dad and stepmom were able to spend the entire day with the boys on Saturday while Dan and I worked. They had a blast together, playing, going to the park, getting hair cuts, getting new books at the book store and building Lego creations. We had to say good-bye yesterday morning as they headed back toward North Carolina. :( Both boys have been talking a lot about how much they miss Grammie and Gramps. It is always so sad to say good-bye.

I took pics at a wedding on Saturday and have been totally wiped out since. It is tough business! But sooo much fun, too. I love how every wedding is similar, yet so different. Each one has its own unique story and people and traditions and details. Despite the blisters on my feet and burning eyeballs, I love my job.

Elijah's kindergarten teacher came to the dropzone last week to make a skydive! She had a blast! It was so fun to see the big happy grin on her face when she landed. Jumping out of an airplane is such a unique experience and it is something that is impossible to describe in words. I always love seeing the so-THAT'S-what-it's-like look on people's faces when they land.

Dan has been working since Thursday and the boys and I have kind of just been scraping by these past couple days. I've been exhausted, so we are doing bits of laundry and cleaning, taking trips to the park and running errands. Dan has the next two days off, so I'm hoping for some catch-up!

We have been continuing to learn about how Elijah processes information as second grade draws near. In a way I'm afraid to start the year but at the same time I'm eager to just get going! In the next week or so I plan to write up a bulleted report for E's team. I want to explain NLD in a nutshell since not too many people seem familiar with it. I also want to write out Elijah's warning signs for being overwhelmed/confused and give suggestions about things that might help if he gets off track. The bottom line is that he needs to feel safe and acting out is his way of letting us know that. I have a few things I've been trying that seem to help distract him. I'm hoping we can give his teacher enough info before the year begins to be helpful!

E's follow-up appointment with Dr. L (ENT) went fine last week. He saw a bit of "granulation" in his ear, which is apparently just a bit of redness and fairly normal after ear surgery. We're doing ear drops for 2 weeks and a hearing test mid-Sept. The first Fraser appointment went great. Appointment #2 is Wednesday.

Thank you for peeking in and I hope you all have a great week!

Mishap Monday

I don't have Dan to talk to in the evenings after the boys are in bed, so I feel compelled to sign on and write! Sammy and I spent a day together while Elijah was at school (it was an "ok" day today...I'll take it). I rushed to get some photos edited this morning so we could stop by the post office on our way to the gym. Sammy and I walked up to the counter at the P.O. and...oh no. I realized I had left my purse at home. I loaded Sam back into the car and got into the driver's seat. Uhh, where are my keys?! Seriously, I...the most methodical OCD person when it comes to things I should be keeping track of...was suddenly without a purse AND keys?! I thought I was losing my mind! I quickly ran back into the P.O. and asked if anyone had seen keys lying around. I got a few strange/worried glances, as they had all just witnessed my missing purse saga. I went back to the car and Sammy was holding up my keys in front of his face. "Mommy! You told me to hold these!" Oh boy. I have relived the scene a hundred times today and I have no recollection of handing Sam my keys. The rest of the day took place without dementia precursors, so I'm chalking that strange 10 minutes up to a tired mama brain.

I bet you didn't know that babyporta.com was your source for field trip follies and tired mama mishaps! So happy to entertain!

Bringing Elijah to karate is one of the many things Dan takes care of each week. I took him to karate tonight for the first time in a long time and it was so much fun! His skills are coming along and he is working so hard. Granted, his attention wanders more than most, but he tries his best. Here's a cute pic I snapped of E and S afterward (I really tried to get Lamby out of the shot).

Here's a quick video of my silly boys enjoying the lovely outdoors..

I got called into work tomorrow and Wednesday, so I'll be doing the "scramble," as I call it. Get E on bus-get S to daycare-drive quickly down to Cannon Falls-work 5 hours-hurry home-get E off bus-get S from daycare-BREATHE. If Elijah has a "great" day tomorrow, we plan to visit a park after school that the boys having been just dying to go to for weeks. I hope it works out! Have a great night and thanks for putting up with my rambling (once Dan is home I won't be so annoying).

Croup: Season 6, Episode 3 (Elijah)

We're starting off with a bang sans Dan. Juuuust as my sleepy body was crawling into bed last night, I heard stridor over the monitor and for some reason was not at all surprised. I carried Elijah for the second time in two days, this time to a steamy bathroom. The stridor wasn't super-scary, thankfully, so an epi neb wasn't necessary. We snuggled while sitting on the edge of the tub for 20 minutes and then I gave him a dose of oral steroids and put him in bed with me. From that moment until 2:00am, I went from placing my hand on his chest to putting my ear to his chest to asking him if he was ok...repeat 100 times. 2:00 (the witching hour) has always been Elijah's hour when croup is the most awful, if it's going to be awful. I realized I was not getting ANY sleep, so I put him back into his own bed at 2:00 on the dot. He had mild stridor the rest of the night and at 6:00 (the magic hour) all was well and he was ready to start the day!

Not surprisingly, I suppose, he had a "bad" note from his teacher today. It was his first in a long time, but with the steroids in his body (this med has always done a number on his mind/body) and lack of sleep I could have a little understanding. My attempt at putting both boys to bed early tonight was a complete failure. We are an overly tired bunch right now. I'm praying for a healing, restful weekend for all of us! And for a great DC trip for Dan! We miss him!

I'm believing for a turn-around day tomorrow. I'll be starting the day off with funfetti-strawberry pancakes! Come join us! :)

And the adventures continue.

We got home Tuesday from yet another little adventure. We headed down to Iowa for my dad's side family reunion in Okoboji this past weekend. Here is a photo of most of us who were there this year. We unfortunately didn't gather people together until after some had already departed. Good lookin' bunch!

These photos are not in order and I am too busy (lazy?) to rearrange them, so please bear with me! On Monday Dan and I took the boys to the local (very old) amusement park, Arnold's Park. The boys remembered the rides from last year. We had a blast!

Sammy, like last year, was not super fond of the fishies. TOO FAST, MAMA.

Here was Sammy on the fishies last year. I think closing his eyes was his coping mechanism. This year he didn't mask his fear and let the tears run free. Maybe next year we'll skip the fishies! :)

We were so happy to have my dad with us at the park for a bit that day. We love Gramps! Shortly after this photo was taken, the train ran out of gas (not kidding) so we had to depart from inside the tunnel we had been chugging through.

As always, we loved our time with family. The boys have some second cousins that were fun playmates. The older boys adored Sammy and wanted to spend all kinds of time with him. It was super cute.

The kids were able to have a movie night one night. Cookies and a movie and lots of snuggle time!

Karsten and Sammy were buds.

We even got a few boat rides, thanks to my uncle.

Sammy and Cate (and Cowwy...can't forget Cowwy) were a good team on the boat.

My friend Heather lives nearby, so she and her kids headed up for a visit. I was so happy to be able to spend some time with them!

My boys, doing some lake lounging.

Saturday was also my 20-year high school class reunion, so Dan and I left the boys with my dad and stepmom for a night and headed two hours south to attend that. It was fun! Really fun. I am fortunate to be a part of such a tight, fun, kind, smart group of friends. Our time together went way too fast!

We couldn't leave Okoboji without having frozen yogurt with Gramps by the lake!

The past week for Elijah has been rough. He is not just tired from our escapades in the past month...he is exhausted. All of the sleep lost over the past month is finally catching up to him. His behavior has not been good. Not at all. It has been frustrating, but I get it.

So what do I do? I send him off on another vacation, of course! :) Seriously, it probably wasn't in his best interest, but he and Sammy do not get much time with my dad and stepmom and that outweighs everything in my mind. We loaded Elijah and Sammy into my parents' car this morning and sent them up to Northern MN for a few days to visit more family. I stayed back to get some much-needed work done at home. And possibly skydive (we'll see). I will head up in a couple days to bring them back home. I pray that the experiences they are having and memories they are making are worth the exhaustion. I have never seen Elijah like this before, so please pray with me for miraculous sleep and rest for his little body! Sammy just goes with the flow. He has had his tired moments in the past week, too, but is much more even-keeled than his bro. That, and he is able to sleep past 6:00 a.m.

That's us in a crazy nutshell. In less than a week, we will start getting back into a routine and part of me is really looking forward to that. We will also be missing our fun summer adventures, which makes me sad!

I am about 2/3 of the way through writing about our summer heart road trip. It is taking longer than I thought, but it feels so good to get it all out! I cannot wait to share it. Soon! Until next time..

4th weekend

I just put both boys down to sleep for the night in our "tway-wer." I have major blog work to catch up on while they fall asleep and while Dan finishes jumping. This week has been a bit insane for me. I feel, for about the third time in the past three months, like I have hit my emotional and mental rock bottom. When I found the bald spot on Elijah's head, that sent me to a very dark place. I have never felt so sad and defeated and discouraged before. I spent most of my week sulking and crying. Everything has officially caught up with me. I feel exhausted beyond words. I can feel it in my back, stomach, chest, brain, heart, soul, everywhere. I am tired to the core.

So last night I packed up the boys and headed to the dropzone, our escape place. I love being here. The fresh air and friends and country life does wonders for my spirits, but I don't get great sleep here which I'm sure doesn't entirely help my situation. The good most definitely outweighs the bad.

I noticed yesterday in the car on the way here that Elijah was twirling his hair tightly and repeatedly in his fingers. I have never seen him do this before. Could it be the reason for the hair loss? I suppose. A perfect bald circle, though? Not sure. I am keeping a close eye on it, and praying all will be well. So far I can just see the one bald patch. As my wonderful dad told me on the phone the other night, "Elijah is one of the most beautiful people I've ever known..inside and out..and I will love him no matter what happens to his hair." I love my dad.

Elijah is counting himself to sleep right now...in Spanish! He got bored with counting in English, so now he's onto a new language. He can get up to catorce and gets stuck. Not bad!

Sammy had a great day. He crawled all over the place and drove his Jeep (soooo stinkin' cute) and made about 100 people smile.

Tomorrow we have some great friends stopping by the dropzone for a visit. I can't wait to see them! I pounce on anyone who wants to spend time with us these days! I hope you all have a wonderful and safe 4th weekend! Thank you all for checking in on us. We love you..

Hungry monster

There's something you must know about Sammy. He is the world's hungriest human. PLEASE CONSTANTLY PUT FOOD INTO MY MOUTH. THANK YOU.

The other night I was trying to make dinner and Sam had already eaten (a lot of) dinner and was hanging out in his exersaucer. He started screaming for more food (again), so I poured a few puffs onto his tray, closed the container and set it on the other side of his saucer. From the kitchen, I heard his MMmmmmmm-ing for a while, and then the hungry screaming started so I assumed he had run out of puffs. Then the MMmmmmm-ing resumed, so I went to investigate and this is what I found.



He found the container, opened it and poured its entire contents onto his tray. That's our Sammy. Stuffing handfuls of food into his mouth.



Is anyone not tired this week? Daylight savings always kills me. Mornings have been rough, but I know soon that will get better. I am waiting to hear from scheduling so we can get Elijah's surgery on the calendar. Next week we meet with ENT to talk about our worries concerning Elijah's constant post-intubation croup. Last time we met with ENT, he was not gentle when talking to us about some potential scary things so you can guess how I'm feeling about the appointment.

Thanks for checking in! Have a good week.

Croup: Season 3, Round 6

Yes, croup happened again. Thankfully again this time, Elijah showed the desire to try and remain calm and that REALLY helped. We are now out of our magic croup medicine, which makes me super nervous since it is a Sunday and we can't get more until tomorrow. Please God, protect Elijah tonight.

I am beyond exhausted, so I'm not going to write much but I'll end with this question: What does a 3-year-old who skipped his nap yesterday so he could play with his cousin AND who woke up at 4:30 a.m. with croup AND who has steroids in his system equal? CHAOS. Add a sick 8-month-old baby to that equation, and....ugh..

What are the chances..

..that both of our boys would be susceptible to croup?

100%!

Samson hasn't been feeling well since Monday. He has had a fever since then and last night got super congested and started coughing a wretched cough. A few times in the middle of the night we had to get up with him because he was barking that croup cough that we know so well. Dan even took him outside (our little trick we use with Elijah), but it didn't do much. He barked through the entire night. It's such an awful sound.

Elijah did a lot of coughing for the second night in a row, too, but thankfully not the croup cough. I don't think any of us got more than a 20-minute stretch of sleep at a time. We woke up a very tired little family. And of course it's my super busy week at work. Of course! Woooo!

I'm praying for a miracle tonight. We need sleep!

Pee-gool!

I love this photo of Dan and Sammy chillin' on the couch.



Yesterday was Elijah's first day of preschool for the year! My tummy was all in knots for a few days leading up to it, but his day went really well. I decided that I wanted to drop him off and pick him up myself on the first day, and I'm glad I did that. He seemed surprisingly comfortable in his new class, with his new teachers and new friends buzzing all around him. I hung out for a little bit in the beginning and after about five minutes he looked over at me and said, "Bye, Mom!"

There are a lot more kids in his class this year than there were last year. It was a little bit overwhelming for ME. It is also an integrated classroom, which means half are special ed and half are not. I think this will be great for him!

His teachers said he had a great day, but that he seemed really super stimulated the entire time. When I picked him up he was acting like his happy, normal self. Thirty seconds after getting in the car, he started sobbing uncontrollably. He was one tired little guy! :(

Tomorrow is his first day taking the bus from (and back to) daycare, so my tummy is a little bit in knots again. Please pray for peace for me and protection for Elijah!

In other news, I'm exhausted. I am working on a really exciting (personal) project with a friend, so that is taking up all of my non-working, non-sleeping, non-caring-for-children time. It is worth it, though! I am extremely excited about it!!

One last quick thing. Today Samson is the EXACT AGE Elijah was when he had his first open heart surgery!

Not much else has been going on this week. That's about all we have for now!

Home sweet home

Sadly, I did not take a single photo on our last of three journeys. So here is a photo from last weekend on "Birgil's" boat.



Elijah, Samson and I cut the last leg of our trip short by a few days. We were all supremely sleep-deprived and missing our home. I even heard Elijah say, "Back home soon?" at 2:00 in the morning a few nights ago. We needed to come back. When we got here, Sam was as happy as a clam. He sat in his swing and smiled for 45 minutes straight.

We had a wonderful time with wonderful family. Elijah found a new favorite buddy, Uncle Phill! He asked about him all day today and I think he really formed a cute little bond with him.


I will end with a conversation Elijah and I had right before nap time today (to show how seriously overly tired our boy was/is):

Me: It's time to take a nap. Will you take off your shoes, please?

Elijah: NO!! Wear red crocs?

Me: No, we can't wear shoes to bed, sweetie.

Elijah: NO! I NOT SWEETIE! I ELIJAH!

Me: Ok, Elijah.

Elijah: NO! I NOT ELIJAH!

Me: Ok, who are you then?

Elijah: I MOMMY!

Me: Ok, Mommy, please take off your crocs.

Elijah: I NOT MOMMY!

Me: [laughing]

Elijah: No laughing!!

Me: Sorry sweetie, I mean, Elijah, I mean, Mommy.

Elijah: Where purple triceratops?

Me: Uhhmmm, ok, let's get into bed.

Elijah: Say pwayers.

Me: Really?

Elijah: SAY PWAYERS!

Me: Okay, okay. Dear Jesus, please help Elijah and Samson to take good naps.

Elijah: Good naps.

Me: And please help Elijah to calm down a little bit.

Elijah: Elijah NOT CALM DOWN!

Me: Amen.

Elijah: Amen.

Me: I love you, sweetie.

Elijah: I love you, Mom.


And he slept for two hours, which apparently wasn't enough. He woke up tired and crabby and needing more sleep. I put him to bed early tonight and I am hoping he won't get up and talk for an hour and a half in the middle of the night (for the third night in a row).

I have never been so happy to be home. After 2.5+ weeks of traveling in the car I started to get extremely homesick, and I know my boys were needing the normalcy of home as well. We are so happy to be here and sleeping in our own beds! Don't get me wrong, we loved every bit of our vacations and our hosts were the absolute best. But, we are so very excited to be at home.

Have I mentioned that I go back to work on Monday? :( Ugh. Very very sad about that.

Pregnancy so far

Minus the pregnancy fog I am in this week, everything has been going really well. We had a tiny scare early on, but it was short-lived and we didn't find ourselves worrying too much. I think we used up our worry reserves during my pregnancy with Elijah because we have been pretty relaxed about everything this time around.

My doctor suggested I do a nuchal translucency screen, so I did. I truly didn't care about the outcome, but we got great results back. I thought I would feel so much differently than I do. I thought I would be sick with worry about having another baby with medical issues, but I'm not. Dan and I want whatever baby God decides to give to us, healthy or unhealthy. I feel really peaceful about the whole experience this time around. I have complete faith that we will be getting the baby that is meant for us, no matter who he or she is.

I have only had a few undesirable pregnancy symptoms. I had some pretty yucky nausea early on, but it didn't last long. I've been tired and have recently started experiencing insomnia, which happened when I was pregnant with Elijah, too. I just don't sleep when I'm pregnant. And when I don't sleep, I do not feel like a good wife, a good mom, a good employee, a good anything. I need my sleep. So, everything has seemed a little bit more challenging this week.

Even taking Elijah to PT/speech therapy last night was beyond overwhelming for me. It was a really challenging session, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't have gotten as upset as I did had I been somewhat rested. It is difficult to know how to discipline your child at home when no one is looking. It is even more difficult to know how to discipline your child in public, when two other people are trying to assist with the discipline, and when you can hardly keep your eyelids open.

We really have not had to deal with a whole lot of "naughtiness" from Elijah, so when he does display naughty behavior it always throws us for a loop. Last night's session was awful. It made me confused and angry and I wanted to crawl into my bed and cry after we got home. I pray that I handled it even semi-appropriately and I pray that Elijah understood that his behavior was NOT OK and I pray that I can get some sleep soon so I can have a clear head and feel good about my parenting decisions.

Elijah's cough is getting much better and only ended up disturbing a few hours of his sleep one night last weekend. So far, his sicknesses this winter have been a Godsend! I don't even know if I would call them "sicknesses." Thank you, GOD, for this reprieve. Thank you thank you thank you!

We have some great news about some evaluations that were done on Elijah recently, but I'll save that for another time. It's time to go to bed!