Cool dudes, a field trip and a fun weekend!

Look at my cool dudes! Once the weather finally swayed toward the WARM end of the spectrum, Elijah and Sammy were excited to wear tank tops, shorts, sunglasses and Crocs! We are EXCITED for summer!

On Friday I went on a field trip with Elijah's class to the Minneapolis Institute of Art. It was fun! E's bff was in our group and it was so much fun hanging out with them. I love this picture of them snuggling as they looked up at the art on the ceiling of the atrium.

There were a handful of moments when these two got upset with each other, but it was all in love. They act so much like brother and sister. We are SO GRATEFUL for A and the patience she has for Elijah! She is a good friend.

Both boys started swim lessons this week and both of them did GREAT! Sammy was braver than I've ever seen him in the water. Kindergarten has given him confidence and courage that gets him through things like this. A year ago he never would have willingly dunked his head and attempted everything the instructor asked of him without tears. I'm so proud! Elijah did great, too. He dunked his head underwater at least six times and followed along better than ever before. I'm hoping both boys can graduate from their swim classes at the end of this eight weeks!

Buddy is learning SO quickly and we are all still getting to know each other. He has attended two puppy kindergarten classes and he is getting so much better with walks and leash training. He hasn't had an accident in our house in almost a week! He is still wanting to chew on everything, but we are getting wiser. At peak chewing times, we give him bones and raw hides that keep him occupied and also keep him from chewing our shoes and rugs to pieces. He really is such a good puppy! He isn't even four months old and he sits on command, stays on command, hardly ever barks (we've only heard him bark maybe 5 or 6 times in 3 weeks) and he loves his new pack. He loves to lick Elijah's face (E LOVES this!). When he is excited to see one of us, he wags his tail so hard that his butt wiggles and waggles back and forth. :) He is SO friendly with people and dogs. He found a new pup friend in the neighborhood that he loves named Carter. This morning he saw Carter and his owner walk by and he looked longingly down the street at them and whimpered (we missed saying hello) until they were out of sight.

Today we brought the boys to Lake Ann for some sun and play time. It felt great! Elijah had an allergic reaction to something floating through the air, but we managed it with allergy meds. It feels so good to be able to get out and enjoy the outdoors again. We love spring!

Sammy lost a tooth last week and Elijah lost one tonight. The Tooth Fairy has to get things together! This week we are praying for health, as well as further progress in the puppy realm so I can actually get some work done during the day. Thanks for peeking in!

Croup: Season 8, Episode 2 (Elijah)...and frogs and crickets.

Based on lots of sneezing and a certain little something I could hear in Elijah's breathing yesterday, I knew there was a chance that croup would happen last night. At 11:00, he woke up with mild (thank goodness) stridor. We gave him a dose of oral steroids and I sat with him in a steamy bathroom until he complained that the room was too hot. I brought him to bed with me for a bit just so I could hear if it was going to get worse. Sometimes it does, but usually the steroids help. After listening to him snore for an hour, I brought him back to his bed. This morning he had a bit of a cough, but was doing much better and seemed to sleep great for the rest of the night.

Speaking of sleep, we may have discovered something that helps Elijah sleep better. His in-home behavioral therapist was here earlier in the week when E was having a really rough time. There was a lot of screaming and refusing to do anything that was asked of him. So she got out her phone and turned on a noise app. She told him he could listen to any sound on the app and he chose....FROGS AND CRICKETS. Uhhh, ok. He immediately calmed down! So that night he asked if he could turn the noise machine in his room to FROGS AND CRICKETS as opposed to the white noise we always use. We were hesitant because who the heck wants to have frogs croaking in their ear while they sleep? We let him do it and he slept till nearly 6:00am! This. Never. Happens. We have turned on FROGS AND CRICKETS every night since and he has slept until at least 5:30, sometimes even a little past 6:00. This morning I said to Dan, "Seriously? FROGS? And CRICKETS? That's all he needed?"

The frogs and crickets have NOT helped with behavior this week. Oye. It was a DOOZY week. My energy and patience were depleted and I remembered just how challenging things could be when the wind blows violently and directly against me. We did a med increase at the end of December, but I'm wondering if we need to do another. We have an appointment to see Dr. M on Monday, so we'll see what he says and go from there. Even with the tough week we had, I don't and NEVER will blame Elijah for it. He is not the difficult one. Those detoured pathways in his brain are to blame. They make him overwhelmed and things get scary for him when that happens. It's not his fault. If anything, even through the very frustrating moments, I feel so terribly for him because I know he doesn't feel good. I have experienced anxiety in its truest meaning and it is a HORRIBLE feeling. The worst feeling. I am not always able to do this because I sometimes am too worked up and upset, but sometimes I'm able to pull out a miraculous bit of patience in the midst of a storm and.....HUG ELIJAH. It is counter-intuitive on so many levels, but it helps.

Amidst the stormy seas of NLD, we have done a few fun things in the past week! Dan and I had a night away from home without the boys. It was sooo nice and relaxing and left me wanting more! This year we will celebrate our 10-year anniversary, so we are determined to celebrate all year long! We feel super grateful that we have not only survived these 10 years, but THRIVED! That's something to celebrate.

I can't remember if I mentioned the field trip I went on with Sammy's class last week. We had so much fun snowshoeing with his class! He has the best little group of friends. They are all so sweet and kind and respectful. Which brings me to Sammy, my sweet boy. He has gotten a few extra reminders to have good behavior this week at school, which is unlike him. His teacher isn't concerned, but since it's not typical for him she thought it was worth mentioning. I asked what sorts of things he had been doing. Are you ready for this? While standing in the lunch line, he bent over and made his butt cheeks "talk" to his friends. Yep! He was SO UPSET when we gently tried to talk to him about the reminders he needed. He was so worried that his teacher was mad and that we were mad. I assured him we definitely were not upset, but that we at least needed to discuss it. He covered his ears and buried his face in the couch because he couldn't handle the thought of being in trouble at school. Yesterday he didn't need any reminders, so the gentle talk must have worked! The butt cheeks have been silenced. :)

The boys don't have school today, so they are at daycare for the first time since summer so I can work. They were so excited to see their daycare friends! Dan will be out of town tonight, so it's just the boys and me for pizza movie night. Tomorrow Elijah has snowboarding and Sammy will get to watch him for the first time. I'm still trying to figure out a way to get Sam on the slopes without a meltdown. Ice skating and sledding will be good first steps and I'm hoping to make those happen in the next few weeks.

Have a great weekend! Sorry for the ranting post. That's what happens when I only post once/week!

Croup: Season 5, Episode 2 (Samson)

I've been hoping that Elijah's sickness from last week would pass right over Sammy, but no such luck. Sam was sounding croupy before bed last night, so we gave him a TINY preventative dose of oral steroids. He was up at 9:00 coughing and barking. I have to say that he is SO calm and sweet when he is sick. He wraps his little arms around my neck so sweetly. We sat in a steamy bathroom and then Dan brought him outside. Then, as I usually do when the boys are sick, I brought him to bed with us. He was wheezy for most of the night, but stayed calm and that helped to not send him into a full-blown episode. He took up ALL of my side of the bed, so I literally slept on 6 inches of the edge and wrapped my legs around the bottom of the bed. I think Elijah got the best night of sleep out of all of us for maybe the first time ever!

Sammy took a nap at daycare today and woke up with another croup episode. Ever since, he has been wheezy/barky. We took every preventative measure we could think of before bed tonight. He still sounds rough despite our efforts and I'm fully expecting another round tonight. Poor dude.

It has been a TIRING week. I worked 20 hours in Cannon Falls in addition to accomplishing just about everything else I normally accomplish in a week. I went on a field trip with E's class on Tuesday and had so much fun inspecting samples from a pond at a nature reserve. I have always loved going on field trips with him (minus a few nightmares from first grade). Sammy had a cute soccer practice last night. He is starting to feel more comfortable on the field. I LOVE watching him run around and have fun with other kids, even though he doesn't interact a ton with them yet.

I have 20 minutes of work to do and then I am putting this computer down and turning into a vegetable for the evening! Have a GREAT weekend, everyone! Be safe and have fun!

Croup: Season 7, Episode 1.1 (Elijah)

Mild to moderate croup episodes do not earn their own episode numbers, but Elijah had a "dot-one" last night. It involved a barky cough and mild difficulty breathing. Compared to Sunday night it was a piece of cake. Dan and Elijah sat in a steamy bathroom and then in the cool outside air and after that things were manageable. He coughed a bit early in the morning, but all was well. He has been in bed for 2.5 hours tonight and we just heard a bit of a barky cough. It may be another night of mild croup, but we're praying for none of it!

The past two days have brought sleeplessness, anxiety and frustration as I continue to ponder and worry about Elijah being totally overwhelmed by full days at school. The scripted lines that have been delivered to me over and over make me want to scream at the top of my lungs. We continue to try connecting educators with doctors in an attempt to make things easier. As far as I know, this hasn't happened yet.

Dan accompanied Elijah on a field trip today. E seemed to have reached his limit by noon, so Dan brought him home (he thought ahead and had driven himself...SUCH a good daddy!). We are going to try sending Elijah to school the rest of this week and one day next week. Monday he has a cardiology appointment that will take most of the morning and Wed-Fri is MEA. This is perfect. We are hoping to finally get him back to baseline. After that, well....to be continued! I have a few ideas which depend on a few different factors. My top priority with this situation: making things less overwhelming for Elijah-->shortening his days at school-->doing whatever it takes to make that happen. If it can't happen, we will take him out of school SOON and figure something else out. We...HE...cannot go on like this.

It's a busy week! I'm in Cannon Falls working all week and Dan is working two new jobs (that makes FIVE jobs total for him). Despite the craziness, I feel like we have good perspective and we are so grateful for everything, including these new struggles. We know everything will come together and that good things will come of all of this.

Thanks so much for peeking in. I hope you all have a great rest of your week!

Opposite of "not new" is...

I began work in Cannon Falls (for the Fall) on Friday. Since then I have worked down there three days and shot a wedding, so I know I must look tired. That was confirmed when I got home tonight. Sammy looked me square in the eyes and said, "By the way, Mom, you do NOT look new." Ouch! At least he is honest!

I don't have much to report regarding Elijah and school. We continue to send him to school, sending him deeper into tiredness and knowing it's not necessarily what is best for him right now. His teachers have been quiet, so I assume that means things are going better for the most part. Or they are sick of my emails.

We are waiting patiently for Dr. M (doctor) and Dr. F (sp ed case mgr) to speak, but I haven't heard a peep about that. Dan was able to accompany Elijah's class on a field trip today and for the ten minutes that he observed E in class he said it was obvious that he required a lot of extra attention. I know for a fact that he wouldn't require as much attention if we could cut back his days for a season and give his brain a break.

The field trip went great, Dan said! Elijah's classmates interacted with him and seemed to like him, although Elijah was rarely the one initiating interaction. I was glad Dan was able to go along. We try to always make that happen.

That's about all for now! Please say a prayer that we will be UNDERSTOOD soon. Very soon. And very understood.

Zoo and MOA!

These photos are a bit out of order, so please forgive me. I went along with Elijah's class on their MN Zoo field trip today. Whew! I'm happy to be sitting on my butt right now! I had a GREAT group of four awesome kids who listened well and stuck by my side. We had a fun day, but it was a wee bit long. I had one kid (Elijah) who tired very easily and another who acquired a blister on her heel pretty quickly. Hence, two hours of piggy-back rides. After lunch, I rented a stroller and pushed the two of them around while the other two did a great job of keeping up. It worked out great! AND I got my workout in for the day!

This pic was taken at the MOA on Saturday. We went to a family birthday party and were able to ride on a few rides with my cousin Trevor and his cutie, Veda. Here's E and Veda on the ferris wheel!

This is my Sammy! Here's what I get when I ask him to pose for a picture. :)

For the first time ever, Elijah went on the "fast cars" with someone besides Dan or me. He and Veda had so much fun together! The blurred heads say it all.

So cute!

Happy cousins!

Here is a pic of the boys as we waited in the cell phone lot to pick Dan up from the airport on Saturday evening. We couldn't wait to see him!

And here is our sad car tonight. This is cosmetic and poor Big Red will not be driven with duct tape. :) Hopefully within the next few days we'll have a new hood and be ready for our road trip!

It was such a nice day here in MN today despite the forecast, so I hope you local friends were able to enjoy it!

The runners

Day #1 of temporary single-mom-dom down! Nine to go! There is something so strange about having Dan across the country while leaving Sammy in one spot, Elijah in another and traveling 60 miles to work. I didn't like it! I swallowed down tears all day. It didn't feel right. What if one of the boys needed me quickly? I was happy to scoot out of work and head toward home. Elijah and Sammy were eager to get to the library tonight! Each boy quickly picked out four books. I heard Sammy say "EEeeeewwww!" the whole ride home as he flipped through his tadpole book. "It's non-fiction, Mom. Eeeeewwww! Look at that slimy...thing! Eeewwww!"

I was so happy to go with Elijah on his field trip yesterday. I have gone with him to this same nature center a handful of times. Preschool, kindergarten and now first grade. Each trip is special because it means one-on-one time with my oldest cutie. He still loves holding my hand and being close to me, which I love! Personally, my favorite part of each trip is the bus ride home. Exhausted from exploring, Elijah inevitably falls into my lap, wrapping his arms around my legs and falling asleep. I'm so excited to do these same trips with Sammy! But let's not rush time.

There were only a handful of parents volunteering on this particular field trip, so each of us had 5-6 kids to look after. It seems I was matched up with the runners, which is ironic considering I was also looking after Elijah, my very cautious non-running walker. It was stressful! The other five kids RAN ahead of me as I constantly encouraged Elijah to "Please move more quickly!" There was a point where I realized there was only so much I could do, so I relaxed for ten seconds until.. We came upon a HUGE hill. It was steep and covered with dried grass taller than myself. My runners yelled back at me, "We're going up the hill!" Wait, what?! Hold on! I told Elijah to climb on my back. Toting my 50-pound boy, our team backpack, and my own bag of rain gear, I climbed the mountain so as to not lose track of the other children. I thought I was going to DIE when I reached the top. Then I saw ANOTHER mountain, only this one was bigger. I said under my breath, "No freaking way." The runners looked back at me as they began scaling mountain #2. I yelled, "GO FOR IT! Just PLEASE come back down!" Elijah started to climb this one on his own, but I knew I'd need to stick close because coming back down would be tough. Not only was it steeper than the last, but it was wet, muddy and very slippery. "I want to climb to the top, Mom!" Ugh. It's so tough to tell him "no," but sadly I had to. It would have taken us forever and it would have been a ton of effort for both of us, probably involving more piggy-back rides and/or carrying. The runners ran down the hill past us and then back up again. And then down and back up (I'm not kidding) and back down. Did I mention we were supposed to be looking for bird eggs and deer tracks and signs of squirrels and geese? Forget it. I was in survival mode and I wasn't ashamed. When we got back to HQ, all of the other teams had photos on their iPhones that they'd captured of various nature-related items. "Look! We saw a baby duck!" "We found a pile of deer skat buried beneath some branches!" Ha! My kids were all still alive and I couldn't have been happier about that.

That one will go down in the books. I'll never forget it. It was interesting to see Elijah's interactions with his classmates. Personally, I feel he has come such a long LONG way. He is miles beyond where he was even a year ago. He engages with his friends, much more than what we've been told, I think. We've heard nothing but, "He's socially awkward" all year, so it was refreshing to see some positive interaction, even if some of it was borderline naughty. His classmates are kind and so sweet and showed genuine love for and interest in Elijah.

I hope you all have a great weekend! Thanks for checking in on us!

Mama llama tears

Cutie pie bath boys!



And here are a few photos from our night with cousin Kaleigh last weekend! The boys had so much fun having her over. She taught Elijah how to play hide-and-seek, we had pizza-movie night and we even went to the zoo! We can't wait to have her back soon!



Notice the cute bunnies perched on the back of our couch? That is the Rabbit family. My mom hand-knitted those for the boys. Aren't they adorable?



It seems nearly impossible that it is well into February already. We are still in the process of figuring out our "new life," and making some important decisions. It's a bit stressful at times, but mostly I feel liberated. I feel like there are exciting things in store for our family.

Isn't this little Sammy just the sweetest thing? I could squeeze and hug on this boy all day long. And sometimes I do! Thankfully he allows it. I love this little snuggle man.



I went on a field trip today with Elijah and his preschool class. We saw the play Llama Llama Red Pajama, which is based on a book that we happen to love. It was a super cute play. Every field trip I have been on with Elijah has been nothing but enjoyable. That one-on-one time is so super special to me. He even did the customary fall-asleep-on-Mama-on-the-bus-ride-home, which I adore. When we first got on the bus this morning, I saw a teacher that I hadn't seen since Elijah was a baby. She used to come to our house for physical therapy back during the time when he was extremely delayed and cried through every single PT session. When I saw her today, she pointed at Elijah and said, "It is unbelievable how far he has come!" I scooted into our bus seat and cried. Sometimes I forget. When I'm experiencing day after day after day of defiance and sass and poop, it is embarrassingly easy to forget. He has overcome so very much. You know that strong will I speak of often? That same strong will is what has helped to get him where he is today! He is one determined and willful little person, and there is a ton of GOOD in that. Please remind me of this when I'm complaining! :)

I have a ton of work to catch up on for my food blog (thanks to our Super Bowl snacks!), so I must go do that! Thanks for checking in on us!

Pumpkin carving and more misc (almost caught up!)

Here are some photos from our pumpkin-carving night. As you can see, the boys are still not too interested.



It was still fun, of course. Elijah has always loved the finished product, when the pumpkins are finished and lit with candles. Oh, and apparently he likes having a pumpkin head, too.



And again I will write about things that have nothing to do with the photos surrounding them!

Elijah got his cavity filled this week. Thanks to the laser (and nitrous), it was painless. It was a little traumatic for him to have someone prying his mouth open, and he didn't like the sounds of the tools. It's finished, and we will continue to brush and floss those little teeth religiously. Especially during this post-Halloween week!



I got to accompany Elijah and his preschool class on a field trip this week. This is the third field trip I have been on with him, and it is such a special little thing for us. Well, for me, anyway! We went to Lowry Nature Center (our second field trip to this location) and saw a puppet show and some animals and we talked about what animals do in the winter-time. We walked through the woods and looked for acorns and smelled leaves and Elijah got to hold a snake! He wasn't even a teeny bit afraid and started crying when his turn was up. Last year he fearlessly held a cockroach at this same place and grossed everyone, including myself, out. I'm glad he is fearless when it comes to creepy-crawlies! He can be my bug patrol! One of the things I love about these field trips are our bus rides. Elijah adores riding the "big yellow bus," and it's so much fun to see his happy little face. He thinks it's the coolest thing in the world. And thankfully he's not shy about loving Mommy, because we snuggle like crazy on our bus rides. For the third time (100% track record), he fell asleep in my arms on our way back to school after the field trip was finished. The only thing better would be to have Sammy there, too! And Dan, of course. :)



I realize this is turning into an Elijah-only post, but with as much as that boy talks it's hard not to have constant funny things to report! Something he has been doing a lot lately is asking us, in public, what everybody's name is, and RIGHT IN FRONT of said people.
"Mom, 'member that guy's name?"
"No, sweetie, I don't."
"Is he mean?"
"No, I'm sure he's not."
"He's nice?"
"Yes."



The other day we were somewhere in public, I can't remember where, and we passed a bigger-framed fella. Elijah said, "Wook at THAT guy!" Thankfully, "that guy" thought it was funny and started laughing. Oh the things kids say!



Dan is hunting this weekend and the little boys and I are hanging out at home. Sammy has some sort of virus that he is hopefully about done with. It has involved a high fever, a bit of congestion and a lack of appetite. Poor guy. It doesn't help that he REFUSES to take medicine. We have tried mixing tylenol with chocolate syrup, applesauce, yogurt and chocolate milk, and every time he tastes the medicine and refuses another bite/drink. We even tried pinning him down and using a syringe to get it into the back of his mouth, but he would use his tongue to push it right back out. Thank goodness our kid who HAS needed a lot of medicine in his life is the one who opens his mouth like a hungry little birdy and then says, "Yum! That was good!"



Enjoy your weekend and the rest of the pics!

Field trip

Elijah got to go on his first ever field trip today! And I got to tag along. We went to a beautiful nature center, where we explored the woods and did some fun activities. Well, kind of. Elijah wasn't in a super adventurous mood, and I think the unpredictable terrain in the woods freaked him out a little bit. He mostly just wanted to be in my arms (hence, no photos). During the times we walked on smooth terrain, I set him down to walk by himself and he would fall way way way behind the group. Even with me tugging on his arm.

It made me a little sad. Part of his not being able to keep up is due to his gross motor delays. But some of it is because his little heart and lungs do not have half the stamina that other kids' hearts and lungs have. And it will always be that way. I kept thinking about a book I read recently, My Heart vs. the Real World by Max S. Gerber, and some of the things the heart kids in it said. (I actually wrote a review of this book on my other blog, if you are interested.) Things relating to not being able to keep up with healthy kids and how hard it is to emotionally deal with that as a child.

Anyway, it was just one of those little reminders that pop up on occasion that make me feel sad for my little boy. And just so you I'm not wallowing in pity, I also saw good differences today between Elijah and the other kids. He is definitely on the kinder end of the spectrum and he is especially careful about treating others nicely. He is also just the happiest and friendliest little guy. In many ways, his medical issues have turned into such a major blessing for all of us.

Elijah immediately fell asleep when we got on the bus to go back home. I guess it's a good thing I went! It was fun quality time spent with my biggest munchkin.

And get this! He willingly, with not an ounce of fear or hesitation, touched: a snake, a salamander and a HISSING COCKROACH. I turned myself completely around when he touched the cockroach. I couldn't even look at it! Icky! He was by far the bravest one in his class when it came to being comfortable with those critters. I guess if you can endure all that my little man has, you can do anything! Cockroaches? Piece of cake!