Wednesday, December 11, 2013

It's complicated

This week I keep thinking of Facebook and how under "relationship status," there is an option to select "It's complicated." If Elijah were to choose a status for his life right now, that's exactly what it would say. It's complicated!

I attended Elijah's special education planning meeting this morning. I got to hear all about E's "horrible" behavior. It was fantastic! (sorry for the sarcasm....have to laugh or I'll cry!) In a nutshell, we need to find a new special ed category for him to fall under in order for him to keep receiving services after age 7 (which he desperately needs). He's a tricky one. He doesn't fully fall under any category. Like the school social worker told me, it's like fitting a square peg into a round hole. He has a little bit of every issue, but nothing in full.

Most likely, we'll be able to figure out a way to continue his special ed services, although it is going to take some thinking. The team gave some brief thoughts about which category would be best for him, and then a member of the team (who I had never met) suggested that Elijah receive the EBD label (Emotionally and Behaviorally Disturbed). Sirens blared in my head. I remembered Dan telling me stories about subbing in EBD classes. Not good. Not good at all. We do not feel this is necessary for Elijah. It doesn't fit him. I will not allow them to put that label on him. I'd rather pull him out of public schools and home-school him.

Elijah has had a ROUGH week. Really rough. Multiple calls from the principal rough. We don't know what to do to help our boy. We do feel like exhaustion is still a major factor, and we are working so hard to get that under control. We also feel like he's not feeling totally understood at school. Like maybe he's not getting the magic combination of warmth/firmness that he needs to succeed.

I was thinking of examples of how to effectively interact with E on my drive home tonight. Here's one: I cannot hand Elijah his clothes in the morning and tell him, "Get dressed!" If I did that, a 30-minute battle would ensue. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and snuggle for a few seconds. I tickle him for a bit and say something silly. Then I say, "Pick the ONE piece of clothing that you'd like me to help you with. You will do the rest." Done. I give him minimal assistance getting his shirt or socks on (his usual picks), and he does the rest with no problem. A unique combination of warmth and connection and firmness is needed for this boy. This applies in all areas of his life.

SLEEP! I have been chatting with E's sleep doctor this week since he has been struggling so much in school. Again, things get tricky because we cannot give E any meds that are typically prescribed for pediatric sleep disorders. They could interfere with heart and kidney issues, which we definitely want to steer clear of. The sleep doctor did think of a medication to give him to help him sleep better in the early morning hours. It's basically a delayed antihistamine that would be given at bedtime and hopefully make him feel sleepy early in the morning, when he always wants to get out of bed and play! We plan to start this tomorrow to see what happens. It'll take some time to tell, and the hope is that eventually he will "grow out" of this. 

I honestly could go on and on. There are so many components to our oldest boy that seem super complicated right now. We just have to keep holding on to our faith. We know it will be ok. It is overwhelming right now, but everything will be ok.

After all, we do leave for E's Make-a-Wish trip on Friday morning! We can't wait! We all need miraculous sleep before our limo picks us up at 5:45 AM! :) We have not even begun to start packing! 

Thanks for checking in and please pray for our oldest boy! Pray for answers and for peace/rest in his mind and body. Thank you!

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