On tattoos and turning 40

A few months ago I shared with Sarah (my amazing heart mama friend who hosted us in Kentucky) that I would be turning 40 this month. She asked if I would be interested in getting a tattoo with her while we were in KY to commemorate the big birthday. Um, YES! She had an awesome idea for hers, so I began pondering what I wanted to get.

I don't think it's any secret that I spend a lot of my time and energy worrying about our oldest boy. Since Elijah has been born, I have been given a handful of promises that I need to constantly remind myself about. I KNOW that everything is going to be ok.. Elijah assured me of that the day he was born, the first time I saw him, through unspoken words. I looked at him and I knew. His dark eyes told me, "It's going to be ok, Mama!" I have also been given this promise through a few dreams which I have cherished every day since I had them. He is going to be ok. We are going to be ok.

But I am human and sometimes I get caught up in fear and consumed with worry. I shake myself and say, "The promises! Remember the promises!" It is sooo hard sometimes. I have always had the thought that I should tuck a piece of paper with a few of my favorite Bible verses in my pocket every single day. At first I thought I would get Hebrews 11:1 as a tattoo, as this is one of my go-to faith verses. Then I had an idea.

I searched through my photos and found a picture I had taken of Elijah's heart monitor minutes into his recovery after open heart surgery #2 (the big one). I traced his heartbeat from the monitor and and added a cross at the end. It's my reminder of Elijah's strength and steadfastness, combined with my faith in the promises God has given to me/us that we are going to survive this journey! I chose to put it in a place where I can see it often, and only a few weeks after having it I can say that it has already helped me. I LOVE IT.

A few people have said to me, "But what about a Sammy tattoo?!" And I reply with, "God gave me a natural Sammy tattoo!" It's true! Sammy and I have strangely similar (and very unique) birthmarks and I love this so much. Mine is on the side of my knee and Sammy's is on the side of his elbow. As a kid, I hated my birthmark, but now I LOVE it. It's another little special connection I have with my awesome Sammy Jammy. (Sammy's is on the left and mine is on the right.)

My boys have given me a three-day birthday extravaganza, involving time with the little boys, time alone, time with just Dan and time with all of my boys. Every moment has been filled with tons of love. My boys are the best! Today the four of us went to Valleyfair and had such a fun time. I have loved the past few days and even though 40 seems a little bit scary, I'm ready to tackle it. The decade of forty is going to be AWESOME.

Posing with T-Rex

Here are a few pics from last week when E's kindergarten teacher made a skydive! Can you tell Elijah loves her? (Oops, Koda the dog photo-bombed this one.)

Time for silly faces?! :)

See that spot in the sky? That's Dan and Jen! Her hubby and sweet baby girl were watching them closely.

Perfect sunset landing! 

And today we took a totally impromptu trip to Valleyfair! The other night I remembered that one of the very generous gifts we have been given as a Wish Family is a year's worth of free admission (1x at each place) to MANY amusement parks across the country. Since there aren't many days left in the summer that could work, Dan and I decided we would go to Valleyfair today...at the very last minute. Thank you, GKTW! The boys were sooooo excited. They were squealing and jumping up and down when we told them where we were going. It was their first time ever! We live a few miles from VF, so we've seen it many many times but have just never gone as a family.

We were given a few "extras," as GKTW is known to do. Elijah got a Snoopy stuffed animal and we also got access into the Dinosaurs Attack part of the park. Sam was afraid of some of it, but the boys seemed to enjoy it overall.

Here are my three boys, totally unique in their responses to "Pose in front of the T-Rex for me!"

Elijah: ALL SMILES and totally agreeable as he poses perfectly, looking straight at the camera. (my literal guy)

Sammy: Puts his hands in front of his face as he says, "NEVER EVER." (my independent guy)

Dan: Makes fun of the poor T-Rex's short arms. :)  (my silly guy)

We explored Planet Snoopy and the boys were able to ride a lot of the rides in that area. They had such a blast! We will try to get to VF as a family once/year.

Whoa, what?! Sammy actually posed with Elijah and Snoopy?? This was a small miracle and I was downright shocked as I took this photo. Notice the lump in his cheek? Yeah, that's a mini donut.

The ferris wheel was one of Sammy's picks and he LOVED it. We love riding this ride together as a family whenever we see one. Elijah's analysis of the VF version: "It's pretty slow, but it was fun."

Elijah was super excited to see the T-Rex and wanted to pose with the sign. He was very interested in learning about where each dinosaur lived. "Ohhh! This one lived in Asia, Mom!" "Hmm, he was from Utah!" "Oh my, this guy lived in BRAZIL!"

Dan and I analyzed every little thing about Elijah today. After 30 minutes of being at the park he appeared overwhelmed, confused and exhausted from all of the different stimuli bombarding his brain. We both saw it and adjusted our behavior a bit to try to help. At one point we were waiting to get on the ferris wheel and Elijah started screaming about the line (there were 2 people in front of us) and how long it was and how long it was going to take and on and on. Then he said, "Give me a Mama Mountain!" This is his way of telling me that he wants me to give him a piggy-back ride. We weren't even moving and there was nowhere for us to go, so I calmly told him that it wasn't an appropriate time to do a Mama Mountain. He has been asking for these quite a bit lately at very random times, so Dan and I chatted quick while standing in line and concluded that maybe he just wanted to be physically close (safe) when he feels out of control. From that point on, I started giving him big squeezes/hugs whenever I could. I think it helped because overall he did GREAT today. He started to unravel a few times, but pulled it together and did so well. Dan and I were both super impressed and surprised at the end of the day. He even made it to PT/OT in the late afternoon and had great behavior there, as well. Success!

We ended our time at Valleyfair by stopping by the age-guessing booth. I always stump them and I win an animal for the boys every single time. :)

We have E's second Fraser appointment tomorrow! Also a bit of fun and work and errands, etc. Thanks for checking in!