Okoboji family reunion 2014 and a visit with the developmental ped

We are back from our 2014 Okoboji family adventure. It seems like our trip went by so quickly. Dan was able to be with us for the first few days, but then had to head back to work in the sky. The boys and I missed him terribly after he left. They said about a hundred times, "I MISS DADDY!" We had plenty of distraction, though, with tons of family surrounding us constantly. Elijah and Sammy have some older second cousins who lavish love upon them. We spent some time on my uncle's boat and Elijah particularly was in HEAVEN. Oh my goodness that boy loves to go fast. His arms were flapping a hundred miles a minute with a huge smile smeared on his face as he screamed, "GO FASTER! FAAAASTERRRR!" The boys also got some partial lake time. It was only partial because Elijah has not been cleared by ENT to swim yet (hopefully this will happen tomorrow). 

Dan had to leave before the bulk of the family arrived, so he missed out on family photos. :( We were able to capture a bunch of family shots, including this one of my dad/stepmom, older brother and us (minus Dan).

We had an incredible time, but it has felt so good to be at home. I don't think I've ever loved my home/bed so much!

Today we brought Elijah to see his developmental pediatrician, the incredible Dr. M. We chatted about a few key issues: Elijah's inability to prioritize bodily functions/needs, his lack of self-awareness, his anxiety and his lingering potty issues. Oh how I appreciate smart doctors. A few things that he said today struck a chord since these are thoughts/realizations I've had recently.

When we described E's impulsiveness and tendency to break down easily, he said something along these lines: Elijah requires so much energy and patience and control just to get through every day. Every little thing is either overwhelming or confusing for him, and that depletes his resources. So basically, he is at 211 degrees all the time. When the littlest thing happens, he reaches boiling point and explodes. To us it may seem like a minor issue, but for him it may be the thing that breaks him. I did a really good job of holding back tears as Dr. M spoke these words. It makes me feel so sad that Elijah is running on empty basically all the time, struggling with every little thing that comes his way. We've of course known all of this for some time, but it was somehow different hearing it from the doctor.

Dr. M also mentioned how Elijah's tendency to rely on facts is significant. It tells us that he feels out of control most of the time and clings to facts in order to feel secure. So much of his life feels uncertain, so he thrives on talking and learning about concrete things. Geography, history, time, birth dates, ages, schedules, events...these are all things he talks about CONSTANTLY. At one point during the appointment today Dr. M looked at Elijah and said, "I love your tie!" (He wore his Easter tie to the visit.) Without missing a beat, E replied, "Thank you! I love yours, too!" Dr. M made a comment that even though that is probably a learned thing, it is a great sign that Elijah is able to reply in such a way that makes people want to engage with him. A step in the right direction and a tiny sign that our efforts are making a difference.

We also chatted about potty. His thoughts were encouraging. Bottom line: be patient. Eventually E will be able to move this up on his list of priorities.

Dr. M recommended that if E has trouble in school again this year, we should consider putting him on an SSRI to take the edge off his anxiety. In the meantime, we will just keep doing our best! Early bed times, mapping out our weeks on the white board, getting him sufficient sunlight, disciplining consistently and LOVING him so he feels secure and safe.

Tomorrow we have post-surgery follow-up with ENT and our first appointment with Fraser (super hopeful/excited about this one). Elijah and Sammy get to spend an entire day on Saturday with their awesome Grammie and Gramps while Dan and I work. They are so excited!

Thanks for checking in!! Have a great week!

And the adventures continue.

We got home Tuesday from yet another little adventure. We headed down to Iowa for my dad's side family reunion in Okoboji this past weekend. Here is a photo of most of us who were there this year. We unfortunately didn't gather people together until after some had already departed. Good lookin' bunch!

These photos are not in order and I am too busy (lazy?) to rearrange them, so please bear with me! On Monday Dan and I took the boys to the local (very old) amusement park, Arnold's Park. The boys remembered the rides from last year. We had a blast!

Sammy, like last year, was not super fond of the fishies. TOO FAST, MAMA.

Here was Sammy on the fishies last year. I think closing his eyes was his coping mechanism. This year he didn't mask his fear and let the tears run free. Maybe next year we'll skip the fishies! :)

We were so happy to have my dad with us at the park for a bit that day. We love Gramps! Shortly after this photo was taken, the train ran out of gas (not kidding) so we had to depart from inside the tunnel we had been chugging through.

As always, we loved our time with family. The boys have some second cousins that were fun playmates. The older boys adored Sammy and wanted to spend all kinds of time with him. It was super cute.

The kids were able to have a movie night one night. Cookies and a movie and lots of snuggle time!

Karsten and Sammy were buds.

We even got a few boat rides, thanks to my uncle.

Sammy and Cate (and Cowwy...can't forget Cowwy) were a good team on the boat.

My friend Heather lives nearby, so she and her kids headed up for a visit. I was so happy to be able to spend some time with them!

My boys, doing some lake lounging.

Saturday was also my 20-year high school class reunion, so Dan and I left the boys with my dad and stepmom for a night and headed two hours south to attend that. It was fun! Really fun. I am fortunate to be a part of such a tight, fun, kind, smart group of friends. Our time together went way too fast!

We couldn't leave Okoboji without having frozen yogurt with Gramps by the lake!

The past week for Elijah has been rough. He is not just tired from our escapades in the past month...he is exhausted. All of the sleep lost over the past month is finally catching up to him. His behavior has not been good. Not at all. It has been frustrating, but I get it.

So what do I do? I send him off on another vacation, of course! :) Seriously, it probably wasn't in his best interest, but he and Sammy do not get much time with my dad and stepmom and that outweighs everything in my mind. We loaded Elijah and Sammy into my parents' car this morning and sent them up to Northern MN for a few days to visit more family. I stayed back to get some much-needed work done at home. And possibly skydive (we'll see). I will head up in a couple days to bring them back home. I pray that the experiences they are having and memories they are making are worth the exhaustion. I have never seen Elijah like this before, so please pray with me for miraculous sleep and rest for his little body! Sammy just goes with the flow. He has had his tired moments in the past week, too, but is much more even-keeled than his bro. That, and he is able to sleep past 6:00 a.m.

That's us in a crazy nutshell. In less than a week, we will start getting back into a routine and part of me is really looking forward to that. We will also be missing our fun summer adventures, which makes me sad!

I am about 2/3 of the way through writing about our summer heart road trip. It is taking longer than I thought, but it feels so good to get it all out! I cannot wait to share it. Soon! Until next time..

Boat rides, family time, sugar, doors, old friends

We had an amazing weekend on the unseasonably cool shores of Okoboji, as we hung out with a ton of family we haven't seen in a while. On Friday afternoon we drove down to my aunt and uncle's house in Iowa for our yearly family reunion weekend. Our time went fast, as it always does, but it was so nice to see everyone again. I love my family.



Last week I had worried about Elijah becoming overwhelmed with all of the stimulation the weekend was bound to bring our way (based on our experience from the previous weekend), especially since we only see a lot of these relatives once a year. Now, after the weekend is over, I can say that I could not be more surprised with how things went and I could not be more proud of my little boy! Not only did he appear to be very comfortable being in close proximity with a lot of unfamiliar people, but he even seemed to enjoy it! I can't even tell you how many times I said out loud that I was amazed at how well he was doing. His comfort level in a social setting like this is huge and very very awesome.


This photo of "Amps" (Gramps) reading a book to Elijah is one of my favorites from the weekend.

One of the big treats from the weekend was that we got to spend time with my dad and stepmom, who we don't get to see very often since they live across the country. They gave Elijah some serious love, and Elijah gave it right back. I love watching my parents genuinely loving my son. There's nothing in the world like that. I only wish I could see it more regularly. They are still in "town" (town = within a few hours of us), so we get to see them again tomorrow and also for a bit this coming weekend. Our visit with them isn't over yet! Elijah just loves them to pieces. Last night after we got home I caught him standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up and yelling, "AMPS?! AMPS?!" Sorry little man, they are still in Iowa..



Another big treat this weekend was discovering Elijah's love for boat rides. He fell into a super-sleepy-satisfied-relaxed daze on our Friday boat ride around the lake. On Saturday I took Elijah down to the dock and he started to hit, kick and scream when we passed by the boat without getting into it. A few others were heading out for a ride and he wanted to go, too. There happened to be a few open spots, so we grabbed a life jacket and got in for another ride. Again, Elijah was in a very satisfied daze and did the sign for BOAT throughout the ride. He didn't even mind wearing the life jacket, which came as a pleasant surprise to both Dan and me.



Some other cool weekend treats: We stopped by the famous Sugar Shack to satisfy my sweet cravings and add some meat to my thighs. I got to chat with my college art professor who I haven't seen in years and who happened to be showing his artwork at a show close to the Sugar Shack. I got to see a friend I graduated from high school with and who I haven't seen in years (this is kind of a big deal considering there are only 36 of us from the Manning High School class of 1993 roaming the earth).

And I can't write about the weekend without mentioning Elijah displaying his deep love for DOORS. My entire family got to witness first-hand how enthralling the opening and closing and examining of a door is for him. Thankfully Julie and Virgil didn't mind him playing with their fireplace doors all hours of the day. And I had to remove him from the dining room a handful of times because all he wanted to do was open and close the patio door repeatedly. As Dan and I often say, we may need to look into Door Therapy for our boy. "Hi! My name is Elijah and I'm obsessed with doors!" "HI ELIJAH!"


The weekend wore us all out. Elijah stretched out his arms for a little nap on the ride home.

It was back to business as usual this morning. I headed to work and Elijah and Dan headed to the hospital for the dreaded tests. I hate that I couldn't be with my little boy as he was getting tortured, but at least Dan was there to wipe away the tears. I hear the xraying was pretty awful since they xrayed just about every inch of his body and Elijah does not enjoy being held down. It's good to have those done! Hopefully we will get the results quickly.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend! Thanks for checking in on our munchkin.