After the 23rd surgery

Two quick funnies from Friday that I forgot to write in my last post! At one point before surgery, a nurse asked Elijah if his wristband info was accurate. She said, "Are you Elijah Daniel Porta?" He said yes and she asked, "Who are these two people with you today?" Elijah said, "That's my mom and that's the guy with the gigantic beard." :) Then after surgery the anesthesiologist came in to discuss how things went (this doctor was AMAZING, as all of them are at Children's). He said that E did great and then started laughing so sincerely. He said that Elijah was so polite as they were sedating him, saying things like, "No thank you, I really don't like that icky mask. Please take it away." That's our boy!

Elijah has bounced back from surgery like a total champ. I can hardly believe it! Literally the morning after surgery he was chipper and helpful and happy and rested. He was bouncing all through the house and eating through our fridge like caterpillars eat through milkweed. He was hardly in any pain this time, which was a huge difference from last time. This made me think about something. How often do we say a specific prayer a million times only to have it answered...and not give thanks?!

ALL of my very specific prayers were answered for this surgery. I prayed for a miraculous calm to take hold of Elijah in the OR. This was surgery #23 for him and all of the previous 22 surgeries have brought severe anxiety when the mask was put onto his face in the OR. I'm talking, multiple people having to hold him down because of body flailing and total anxiety/panic. :( According to Dan (because I have only gone in once and swore I'd never do it again), this time was a breeze compared to the last 22. That was an answer to prayer! My other main prayer this surgery was for Elijah to experience minimal pain afterward because last time was pretty bad for 2-3 days. He has had such minimal pain this time. Another answer to prayer. This time I have followed up with much thanks. It's so easy to overlook that part when your prayers have been answered, isn't it?

We are having some specific issues with behavior which pertains mostly to Elijah acting out aggressively toward Sammy. We have a plan in place for that and we're sticking with it, even if takes months for him to stop these behaviors. Consistency works best for him. Other than these issues, behavior has been overall so good for the most part. I remember just a few months ago barely making it through every day. The late afternoon hours were so rough that I wanted to run screaming from my house by 5:00pm. It's not like that anymore, even when homework and therapy is thrown in.

Elijah has been using the toilet on his own lately and I've been afraid to mention that to anyone in fear that he will regress again. I realized today that I have also been able to work on "other" things that even a few months ago wouldn't have been possible. He now gets into the car all by himself and puts on his own seatbelt. Even as recently as July, this did not happen. He also will put his shoes away when he gets home and put them on without complaint when it's time to go somewhere. Prior to July, I mostly did tasks like these for him. If I ask him to do a favor for me around the house, he'll (usually) do it happily. He now brings his plate to the counter without being asked after every meal. All of these things would have been tasks I wouldn't have even attempted three months ago, as we were all just doing our best to survive! I attribute most of this to his anxiety meds. They are another answer to prayer and I am grateful for them!

As always, I had a rough couple days after Elijah's surgery. It always hits me hard, even when it's a minor ordeal. I walked around in a stupor for most of the weekend and got nothing accomplished. Here's to a great week! Thanks for peeking in!

The past TWO weeks in numbers

3 trips to the swimming pool

8 swim lessons (E)

2 visits to child psychologist (E)

2 visits to Fraser - social skills class (E)

2 visits to OT (E)

2 visits to PT (E)

1 visit to pulmonologist (E)

1 visit to development pediatrician (E)

1 visit to pediatrician (S)

2 photo shoots

1 full day of wedding photography

6 blog posts written

4 soccer games (S)

1 birthday party thrown

7 trips to the gym

10 loads of laundry done

5 trips to the grocery store

2 photo sessions edited

4 parks visited

Summer has been soooo crazy! We are enjoying it, but wow! Swim lessons end this week, so next week will be a bit lighter. But then we'll be getting ready for our big trip! The little boys and I are road-tripping out east again this summer. First stop: Kentucky, to visit one of our favorite heart families, Evan and Co. Second stop: North Carolina, to visit my dad and stepmom. We are excited!

As you can see from the above list, we've been spending a lot of time in the water. I am determined to get these boys swimming! Both boys have been terrified about dunking their heads under water, so we have been working hard on it. FINALLY, after much coaxing and a bit of bribery, Elijah willingly went under water today THREE TIMES! His swim instructor is going to be soooo happy tomorrow to see this! He also went down a huge water slide all by himself six times and (kind of) jumped off the edge of the pool into my arms. Progress! And have I mentioned that Sammy is actually excited to get into the pool these days? That is such huge progress compared to last year!

We are currently in a night-time potty transition, which means...sleep disturbances. Which means...we are having a hard time controlling our behavior (all of us). Things had gotten a bit better but they are a bit rough again. Don't get me wrong, it is GOOD that night-time potty is finally being addressed. In the long run, this will be a good thing as long as we can stick with it.

I hope you all are enjoying summer! This weather is fabulous. I'll end with a few Sammy funnies:

cardboard = "carveboard"

instead of "fall in love," he says "follow in love"

Desperate times...

What a weekend! We celebrated Sammy (again) this weekend, this time with extended family and friends. Sammy requested a COW theme for his party (I love this), and of course we complied. I love that he chose something a little bit off-the-wall. He was super excited to have a few friends attend this year. His daycare buds are the BEST!

These four cuties have been going to the same daycare since birth. The boys LOVE these girls! They are the sweetest little things and I'm so glad they have such a special bond with one another.

Birthday bro hugs. :)

The cow piñata got a beating.

And today we broke out our pool for the first time this year. The boys had a blast! Sammy is so much braver than ever before with water and trying new things. I'm proud of him!

In all honesty, it has been rough going for our family. Elijah is really struggling again, the boys have not been getting along and it seems like there is often some sort of turmoil in our home. Potty issues have regressed hugely, which has all affected sleep and sanity. I know that better times are in store, but until then we are spent.

This will be another crazy week, including three doctor's appointments, three therapy appointments and swim lessons. I think I just need to accept the fact that life will always be nuts!

Elijah started seeing a child psychologist on Friday and I will take him to see her weekly for the next few months. She is AWESOME! Our hope is that she can help him learn some coping techniques that will lessen anxiety and frustration.

You can see from these photos that we had a few moments of summer-time peace today, thanks to Dan and his bubble-making.

Dan and I have had to get extreme recently. Behavior, potty and sass have been OUT of control, so we have taken away ALL technology until we see an improvement in behavior and sass. And every time there is a potty accident, we take a toy away from E. To earn one toy back he needs to use the toilet successfully all on his own. We are going to keep with this until we see improvement!

Early to bed tonight. Thanks for peeking in! Have a wonderful week!

Okoboji family reunion 2014 and a visit with the developmental ped

We are back from our 2014 Okoboji family adventure. It seems like our trip went by so quickly. Dan was able to be with us for the first few days, but then had to head back to work in the sky. The boys and I missed him terribly after he left. They said about a hundred times, "I MISS DADDY!" We had plenty of distraction, though, with tons of family surrounding us constantly. Elijah and Sammy have some older second cousins who lavish love upon them. We spent some time on my uncle's boat and Elijah particularly was in HEAVEN. Oh my goodness that boy loves to go fast. His arms were flapping a hundred miles a minute with a huge smile smeared on his face as he screamed, "GO FASTER! FAAAASTERRRR!" The boys also got some partial lake time. It was only partial because Elijah has not been cleared by ENT to swim yet (hopefully this will happen tomorrow). 

Dan had to leave before the bulk of the family arrived, so he missed out on family photos. :( We were able to capture a bunch of family shots, including this one of my dad/stepmom, older brother and us (minus Dan).

We had an incredible time, but it has felt so good to be at home. I don't think I've ever loved my home/bed so much!

Today we brought Elijah to see his developmental pediatrician, the incredible Dr. M. We chatted about a few key issues: Elijah's inability to prioritize bodily functions/needs, his lack of self-awareness, his anxiety and his lingering potty issues. Oh how I appreciate smart doctors. A few things that he said today struck a chord since these are thoughts/realizations I've had recently.

When we described E's impulsiveness and tendency to break down easily, he said something along these lines: Elijah requires so much energy and patience and control just to get through every day. Every little thing is either overwhelming or confusing for him, and that depletes his resources. So basically, he is at 211 degrees all the time. When the littlest thing happens, he reaches boiling point and explodes. To us it may seem like a minor issue, but for him it may be the thing that breaks him. I did a really good job of holding back tears as Dr. M spoke these words. It makes me feel so sad that Elijah is running on empty basically all the time, struggling with every little thing that comes his way. We've of course known all of this for some time, but it was somehow different hearing it from the doctor.

Dr. M also mentioned how Elijah's tendency to rely on facts is significant. It tells us that he feels out of control most of the time and clings to facts in order to feel secure. So much of his life feels uncertain, so he thrives on talking and learning about concrete things. Geography, history, time, birth dates, ages, schedules, events...these are all things he talks about CONSTANTLY. At one point during the appointment today Dr. M looked at Elijah and said, "I love your tie!" (He wore his Easter tie to the visit.) Without missing a beat, E replied, "Thank you! I love yours, too!" Dr. M made a comment that even though that is probably a learned thing, it is a great sign that Elijah is able to reply in such a way that makes people want to engage with him. A step in the right direction and a tiny sign that our efforts are making a difference.

We also chatted about potty. His thoughts were encouraging. Bottom line: be patient. Eventually E will be able to move this up on his list of priorities.

Dr. M recommended that if E has trouble in school again this year, we should consider putting him on an SSRI to take the edge off his anxiety. In the meantime, we will just keep doing our best! Early bed times, mapping out our weeks on the white board, getting him sufficient sunlight, disciplining consistently and LOVING him so he feels secure and safe.

Tomorrow we have post-surgery follow-up with ENT and our first appointment with Fraser (super hopeful/excited about this one). Elijah and Sammy get to spend an entire day on Saturday with their awesome Grammie and Gramps while Dan and I work. They are so excited!

Thanks for checking in!! Have a great week!

Sleep-anxiety, Inc.

My tired little boys are in bed after a looong weekend spent at the dropzone. We had a great weekend and even got visits from a few different friends. One group of friends was able to go skydiving (they had so much fun!) and some others were not able to go (the plane needed unexpected maintenance...booo). We also got to spend some time with our good skydiving friends who we haven't seen in a while who were visiting from Florida!

I wish I could report that our weekend was filled with stellar behavior. It was not. It was pretty rough at times. Thankfully Dan was in the vicinity to help with discipline and behavior management. That helped a ton. For the past five nights or so Elijah has reverted to not sleeping well again. He wakes up exhausted and is up constantly throughout the night. A few nights ago the fitbit recorded 42 times awakened in a 9-hour period! Yikes! I have done a TON of thinking about this and so many other aspects of our oldest cutie.

FYI! The rest of this post could be really boring, so I will not be offended if you click away now. It helps me so much to write these details out, so bear with me if you wish to continue reading! :)

I have said so many times over the past year or so that once we get Elijah's sleeping figured out, so many other things will fall into place. I'm beginning to understand that it's not that simple. We have done everything under the sun to get that boy sleeping well and nothing has worked for him on a consistent basis. Here are the things I feel like we DO do well (not sure these things help, but they definitely can't hurt):

- We have a very strict bedtime routine that we stick to every single night, even when we are away from home.

- We keep the boys' bedroom (at home and at the dropzone) TOTALLY pitch black.

- We have two sources of white noise in their room to drown out all outside noise.

- We bought Elijah a weighted blanket (20 lbs!) that I've read helps to calm people with sensory/sleep issues.

- We consistently put him to bed early since he tends to wake up so early in the mornings, no matter what time he goes to bed.

- We make bedtime a totally relaxing, predictable and enjoyable routine for our boys.

From what I have read about both ASD and NLD, most kids with both of these diagnoses have sleep issues due to the sensory and anxiety issues also involved. That tells me that we need to address the anxiety and sensory issues first, and only after we do that will the sleeping improve. We have tried many months' worth of sleep meds that have not worked and that have actually caused more strife than help! I'm not eager to put anything else in his body at this point. He is super sensitive to medication and that has always been the case. Even antibiotics and Tylenol affect him negatively.

So how do we help him with anxiety and sensory issues?

- Routine helps a lot, I think. Summers are NOT good for routines, but we can continue to do things consistently as a family no matter where we are (dropzone, home or otherwise).

- Elijah has so much anxiety surrounding the topic of potty training, so we have to do our part to minimize this. I was reading tonight in an NLD book that kids with this disorder so often have a difficult time prioritizing bodily/emotional needs. It is tough for them to order hunger, tiredness, the need to use bathroom, pain, etc, in their hierarchy of needs. This makes a lot of sense to me. Dan and I have instinctively started having tons more patience with accidents because we are beginning to understand that he isn't trying to make us upset/crazy/mad/ready to run screaming from our home. It can be soooo frustrating and I feel like it would be nearly impossible to be totally calm during the multiple daily issues we encounter. I have really tried to be as cool as possible regarding this topic and I hope we can be semi-consistent with this and reduce anxiety about potty for ALL of us. He IS slowly making progress and I literally need to remind myself about those baby steps once an hour!

- He has some other anxiety triggers that I've been trying to avoid or really help him out with. Getting the tape residue on his arm off from his surgery? Not important (this is a HUGE source of anxiety for him). It'll come off eventually. Watching him suffer through social scenarios? When I'm present, I coach him as much as possible to help ease his pain. Hopefully over time he will begin to hear my voice in his head and find comfort in that. "Elijah, it's ok! He's just a kid! Say 'hello!' Ask him if he wants to play!" I've also tried to be more sensitive to some of his unrealistic worries (OCD-type stuff). Tonight he was really concerned and obsessed about a tiny little pimple he has on his arm. He did not want me to touch it, but he was crying at bedtime because he wanted it to go away. I prayed for his pimple, kissed it and did everything I could think of to give him peace about it (as opposed to making him feel silly about being worried about it).

- Dan and I have learned through reading about NLD that busy environments are really overwhelming for Elijah. It is difficult for him to interpret a lot of visual information on top of tons of noise and other stimuli. For the past few months, every time he is in an overwhelming setting he breaks down. This is usually evident by the hitting, kicking, name-calling, screaming, etc. It can get reeeeeeally really ugly. I've found that when we are in unpredictable or overwhelming environments, I constantly walk on eggshells. Things can make a bad turn very quickly and it can be really challenging to manage, especially if Dan isn't around. I have been trying to get Elijah to recognize the overwhelmed "too much" feeling before it gets out of control. He isn't quite able to do this yet, but I'll continue to point the precursors out to him. Lately I have been providing him with chill-out options when I spy the overwhelmed behavior taking shape. I will let him spend time on the iPad (learning apps only) or a book or a huge mama snuggle (thankfully, he still LOVES this one). Good things have come from this! There is a country-states app on our iPad that he loves. He will sit for hours, learning facts about countries and U.S. states. He can point to the exact location of every single African country on a map! Seriously! He knows WAY more than I do about geography and he has such a hunger to learn it all. I feel like these sorts of solutions are positive outlets for him, so we will continue to seek out other helpful coping strategies.

- I've read a little bit about the Tomatis Method (listening program therapy) and the Alert Program (this deals with self-awareness, which is such a deficiency for Elijah) and I am SO excited to explore both avenues with Elijah, hopefully with the help of his OT.

Whew! I think that's all for now. My brain hurts. It took major effort to get all of that out in a semi-organized manner. If you are still reading, I'll send you a medal for your patience. Thanks for reading and caring and we love you for being here! Have a great week!

The perfect un-perfect storm

I'll start with a Sammy funny from yesterday!

Sammy (as he stuffs a gummy worm into his mouth): Sometimes I like candy and sometimes I don't like candy.
Me: Really?! When do you not like candy?
S: On Tuesdays. 
Me: Well today is Tuesday.
S: Oh. Except today. Just on other Tuesdays.

Elijah could use prayer right now. There are a handful of factors at play (lots of summer activity and being overwhelmed by lack of schedule, sleep issues, anxiety, weaning off meds), all feeding off one another and creating quite the "perfect" storm in his mind/body. Things feel very overwhelming and complicated at the moment. Here's a small but complicated piece of our daily routine, as an example: Potty issues have regressed in a huge way recently. Elijah uses the toilet independently 0% of the time. If we don't tell him to go to the bathroom, he holds everything in until an accident occurs. Lately he has been super anxious and his tics have been worse than ever, so his body is constantly tense which doesn't help potty issues. I have been putting him to bed extra EXTRA early because here is what happens at night.. Ten to fifteen minutes after he is in bed and his body finally relaxes a bit, he poops. But he doesn't tell me, so I have to check on him every few minutes because he will not fall asleep until he is cleaned up. Once I clean him up, he will fall asleep. This is at least a 30-minute ordeal. And it has been happening every single night.

We almost have him completely weaned off the "sleep" meds. We actually have an appointment with the sleep doctor tomorrow. Please pray for miraculous insight/help!

My gut tells me that we need to get sleep and anxiety under control first. We have a pretty good handle on what he needs on the NLD front. We need to get him to a more rested/peaceful place and go from there with NLD strategies.

Someone asked about E's upcoming surgery and what that will entail. The surgeon will check for cholesteatoma regrowth and remove it, if necessary. He will also place a prosthesis inside his ear with the hope of restoring hearing. I'm not sure how exactly the "wiring" will go, and the doctor didn't seem entirely sure, either. It'll be a play-it-by-ear kind of situation. Ha!

Super exciting things are coming up in the next few weeks (surgery excluded)! Will share soon!

Just another week!

I'll begin with a bit of disheartening news. A tiny bit of consumed chocolate has pushed Elijah's ear surgery back by 2.5 months. It is now scheduled for January 7th. We feel bummed about this, as we were hoping to have it out of the way (and having his hearing restored) by now. But we are TRUSTING in this timing. In HIS timing.

And now for some positive news! After receiving a disheartening email from Elijah's teacher yesterday afternoon about his behavior, I just felt...saddened. He is SO. TIRED. Dan and I both feel that his exhaustion is the main reason for his behavioral issues. I feel like his upcoming appointment at the pediatric sleep clinic will be insightful, but that isn't on the schedule until December. On my way home from work yesterday, I called the sleep clinic and left a sobbing message on their voicemail (yes, I'm that mom). I asked if there was anything they could do for us in the meantime, as we suffer through major difficulties with exhaustion and behavior, etc. I received a call back right away this morning and they had a cancellation! Elijah can now be seen on November 14th! We are so excited about this and it was a major answer to prayer.

His behavior in school has been totally sporadic and inconsistent, which has been difficult to understand. Some days he has ZERO issues. Some days he has 27 "blurt-outs" (yes, his teacher counts). Some days he has great mornings and horrible afternoons. Some days he begins his afternoon horribly and is able to turn it around. Some days he screams at his teachers. Some days he is kind to his teachers and peers. ????? I pray to God that exhaustion is the culprit of all of this and that he will be much more even-keeled once we figure out the sleep issues.

SAMMY, our sweet/sassy Sammy, is so stinkin' cute and smart (when he's not exerting his independence)! Please let me indulge in a my-kid-is-smart story. The other day Sammy asked me if he could watch a show. I said, "I don't know. How many shows have you watched today?" He said, "Let me ask Dad!.......Daddy?! How many shows did I watch today?" Dan said, "One this morning and one after nap." Sam came back to me and said, "Mom, Dad said I watched two shows today." Wait....did my 3-year-old just do math?! He is also beginning to write letters and sound out small words. Just to be sure on the math thing, I tested him this morning. "Sammy, what is 1+1?" "TWO!" "What is 2+1?" "THREE!" "What is 3+1?" "FOUR!" Scary. Our boys are going to be out-smarting us in 2 years. Oh wait, they're already doing that.

And Sammy is now a mostly potty-trained big boy! Not only is he peeing in the toilet all day by himself, but he is keeping his diaper mostly dry during the night. Dan and I are a bit taken aback by this. Shouldn't this process take four years?! Like we've always said, Elijah and Sammy are learning things side by side in so many areas. Now Elijah is asking us, "When can I not wear a diaper through the night? I'm NOT a baby!" :)

Thanks for checking in! We pray that you are all happy and healthy! Have a great week!

Today's daily behavioral journal entry

Maybe I should retitle this blog Elijah's Daily Behavioral Journal. :) We go through seasons, right?

Since Thursday (let's try to erase Friday from our minds, please), Elijah has earned FOUR PAWs at school (wooo!) and a star at karate for showing self-control, discipline and respect (wooo!).

This is so awesome! Now he is on a 5-day break for MEA, then one day back at school before his big ear surgery [cue nausea]. I'll think about that later. For now, we are reveling in a few days of success for both boys in their own areas of growth.

Both boys have earned some special treats for the upcoming long weekend. We have some other special fall-related things planned, too, weather permitting. We have to try to squeeze a bunch in before hospital/recovery time next week since we have no idea what to expect with that.

Thanks for checking in! We'll have some fun things to post about later in the week!

Good news Monday

After a weekend filled with sickness (me) and serious behavioral issues at home (E), I was thrilled and a little bit shocked to learn that Elijah had a "wonderful" day at school today. It seems so random. He has been waking up so much and so early the past few nights, so I assumed he would have a rough day. Who ever knows?! Tonight he was unusually focused when following directions and doing homework. Most nights do not go nearly as smoothly. Hopefully it's just a matter of time to get the kinks out. If he has another good day tomorrow, I've promised him a movie theater outing over the weekend. I am not above bribery.

We have been consistent with bringing him to karate since he started a few weeks ago. Dan and I both think it is doing great things for him. Here is a cute video from tonight's lesson. He's slower than the other kids, but he does it correctly! Sound familiar?! :)

Dan said he also got to break his first board tonight! Here is a pic of that.

He earned his first karate "star" tonight for showing self-control and discipline in school today and Thursday of last week. GO ELIJAH!

Sammy is doing GREAT with potty! He has kept his pants totally dry for a few days now. We are still working on #2, but he is doing so well and we are proud! Could it be? Could we possibly have TWO potty-trained boys shortly? I still promise that we are going to throw a Potty Party when that happens. Toilet-shaped cake and all!

Tomorrow marks the middle of the month, which I'm happy about. October is an absolutely insane month for us, so having a breather in a few weeks will be nice. Thank you for checking in! Have a great rest of your week!

Gut punch

Elijah received his third behavior referral form today. :( It has been a sad afternoon for me. He kicked his teacher and was very disruptive in class ("chronic disruption"). On the form she marked it as a "major" offense. The last two were minor offenses. This means that an in-school suspension is in the works for next week. This makes me sick to my stomach and so sad.

Please pray for him and for his teachers and us! Thank you.

ps. GREAT news of the day...Sammy had a great potty day! We are improving and doing GREAT! YAY SAMMY!!!

Behavior and potty and very fun pics!

This week Elijah has come home from school each day saying to us, "I didn't go to the principal's office!" as if this is a great feat. "Ok, Elijah, this is good news, but having three time-outs from your classroom is not good." He has continued to disrupt his class with inappropriate laughing and talking. No hitting so far this week, which we are thankful for. The mommy stomach-aches continue. Every time my phone rings, I feel like I want to vomit.

We will get there, and I truly KNOW this is the truth. Dan and I are ON IT. We are in constant communication with E's teacher and social worker and special ed case manager and principal. We know things about his day before he imagines we could know them. We are all working together to help him. We are blessed to have such an amazing team of people working with us.

On top of this, we are in the throes of potty training Sammy. Oh my GOODNESS, is he a toughie! How did we get two such tough ones in the potty-training realm?! Again, WE WILL GET THERE. Sammy hates underpants and change and being told what to do.

I will end with a few Make-A-Wish reveal pics! So much fun. We love our boys to pieces!

Frustration

Elijah and Sammy need summer hair cuts badly, but in the meantime we are having fun with new styles. :)

This week was a bit of a bummer, hence the lack of posts. Elijah, along with the rest of us, have missed out on going to the pool THREE times this week due to major potty accidents. I have felt more frustrated than I've felt in a very long time and there has been more turmoil in our home than ever before. :( We have been actively potty training this boy for 2+ years. There are most definitely special circumstances surrounding him and keeping this in mind Dan and I DO have mucho grace, but....it sometimes (this week) gets really really frustrating. Especially since it is summer (finally!) and we want to be able to get out and enjoy the weather!

With that said, we had a fairly low-key week and there's not much to report! I will share a few Sammy/Elijah funnies and then sign out.

(copy/pasting this one directly from my food blog)
My camera broke (boo), so I brought it to the repair shop with my boys in tow. The nice gentleman at the counter was writing down my information, and Elijah and Sammy were sitting together in a chair being silly and laughing. Sammy stopped laughing and spoke into the silence, "Mommy, are you going to take your pants off?" ..crickets chirping.... I have to give the man credit because he did not flinch. I shot Sammy a mortified and confused look. Then again, but louder this time, "MOMMY! Are you going to take your pants off?!" Oh my goodness! Where did this come from? What must this man think of me? That removing my pants in public is a common event? "Thank you, ma'am, I will give you a call when your camera is ready."

The very next day, the following occurred!
While waiting for our oil to be changed, Sammy asks, in the presence of two older gentlemen, "Mommy? Does grandma have lots of ear wax??" 
Two more satisfied Sammy customers!

So long, kindergarten

Elijah is finished with kindergarten, and that has made me really sad! I didn't expect to feel this way at all. Just like that we are done with his sweet and incredibly awesome kindergarten teachers. And with his awesome bus drivers who we grew to love so much. And with the stories Elijah would bring home from school. He seems like such a big boy. As you can see in the photo, he (and Sammy, too) changed a ton from the beginning of the school year. At least Sammy has learned how to put his shoes on since then. :)

This morning as we were walking out of the club, I noticed that Elijah was holding my hand extra tight. If I had to let go to open a door, he would quickly grab for it again. I'm happy he's still "little" in the sense that he enjoys being associated with me in public! I hope that lasts for a while longer.

I have been observing Elijah a lot lately and making careful mental notes about his behaviors, actions and reactions to certain things. I have formed some thoughts that have given me a feeling of peace during times that are very frustrating. I'm not done collecting my data, but I'll report back. :) Let's just say that I have much more grace for certain frustrating, repetitive and obsessive behaviors.

And speaking of that, if you have been reading this blog for a while you will know how big my sigh must have been after the following conversation that took place this morning:

Me: Sammy, you are 3 now so that means you need to start going potty in the toilet!
Sammy: No, I don't need to do that until I'm 9.
Me: Uhm, no, how about now. And with a good attitude.
Sammy: Nooo, when I'm 9. And with a bad attitude.

This is the same boy who refused to willingly get into the bath tub for TWO YEARS because....well, because it was our idea. He has had the same attitude with the good ol' toilet. Kicking, screaming, flailing, the whole works. In the past year we have done our best to set it up so that it appears to be his idea. With no luck. After the above conversation, I said, "Sammy. This is GOING to happen." And so we endured the kicking, screaming and flailing. By the fifth try, he was only kicking so I saw that as a promising sign. To be continued!

That's all for now. Have a good day! It's raining, cloudy and cold! Again! [insert crazy laughter]

Boy tidbits

It has been cold and rainy all week and we feel like we've been catapulted back into winter. It's a bit depressing, but we are looking forward to HOT days ahead! The boys haven't been held back by the rain. "MOM! Can we PLEASE play in the rain?" We have been cooped up for so long this winter that I have no objections to that request. Go! Splash around!

I wanted to write down a few precious memories before I forget them. Some are funny and some not so funny. Starting with the not so funny..

I haven't written an update on this in a long time, but we are still working on potty issues with E. We are in a MUCH better place than we were a year ago, but there is still progress to be made. Unfortunately, Sammy has seen the chaos that has surrounded anything potty-related so that combined with his very independent nature has caused him to be 100% against sitting on a toilet. It is a little bit maddening, but as always we are doing our best as his parents and trying to be patient. When both of these boys are potty trained, Dan and I will invite you all over for a huge POTTY PARTY. I'm not kidding. Mark your calendars for 2016.

Sammy and Elijah are the best of buds right now. It is wonderful (when they aren't fighting, ha!). They do pretend play a lot and have so much fun together. Elijah has a lot of grace with Sammy's independence. Sammy tends to boss him around a bit, and as long as he doesn't steal E's toys away from him they can play in peace for quite a while. Every once in a while they root against each other and we have to separate them. We often hear silly names being thrown around. Sammy refers to Elijah as "Blueberry" and E refers back to him as "Strawberry." In the past few days, I have been called, "Mr. Hoo-Shay," "Mr. Lopart" and many other silly names. These boys are silly!

Elijah is finishing up his kindergarten year, which seems crazy. He has had a really great year, minus a few little hiccups. His teachers, therapists and bus drivers ADORE him. Starting about a month ago, when I would get him off the bus his (very awesome) bus driver and (very awesome) bus aide would be loudly singing songs with him. They were variations of: "DO YOU WANT SOME PIZZA (INSERT ANY WORD HERE)....WAAH-OOOOO!" So the other day Elijah sat down and drew them each a picture with a funny "Waah-oooo!" saying underneath. Today when I got him off the bus, his bus driver showed me that they had hung his drawings on the front of the bus and said, "Now we can think of him all the time!" This boy makes people smile!

Sammy adores his stuffed animals, particularly his cow ("Cowwy Cow Cow Can Cow") and his frog ("Froggy"). He does a lot of pretend play with them, too. Cowwy and Froggy often scream and hit and need to be put in time-outs. Or one of them will burp loudly (Sammy has a sound for this that is very very cute). When Sam is being disciplined, he will tearfully cry out for either Cowwy or Froggy, who he feels will save him from his "harsh" punishment.

Compared to his brother, Sammy is super sensitive and way more empathetic to other people. If any of us expresses pain or sadness, he will bring us his blankie (his most precious possession) and pat our backs. "Are you sad, Mama? Here's blankie!" We have two very different boys, which is a huge blessing and so much fun. We love them both so much.

I will stop here for now! Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful week!

Water and potty (not together)

Hello friends and family! Just a quick update, as I have to get to bed soon. We have to get up at 4:30 to get to the airport, so good sleep is necessary tonight!

This past weekend we were able to spend some cherished time with one of my best friends in the world, Heather, and her two beautiful children. Elijah was beyond excited to spend time at a nearby waterpark (one of his favorite places in the world)! He explored, but not if water was going to splash in his face. Major anxiety occurs when water splashes his face! We will have to get past this issue next week when he starts swim lessons.

A year ago, he never would have gone down a slide like this. I am proud of my brave boy for conquering his fears.

Sammy has had an aversion to water since the day he was born. He hates baths and pools. When we entered the waterpark, he clung tightly around my neck and said, "GET OUT! GET OUT!" :( He stuck by Dan on the chair the ENTIRE time we were in there. He would not allow us to remove a single shoe from his foot.

At least his chocolate-toothed brother had a blast! We had fun riding down the Lazy River together. That was our special time. He didn't want to get out, and I secretly didn't either.

As I have written before, Sammy is FIERCELY independent. I will give you an example:

Getting him out of bed in the morning and (knowing he wants his blanket and bear with him when he exits his bed) I asked him, "Should I grab Bear and Bebe?!" Simultaneously I grabbed his bear. He saw this, grabbed Bear from my hands and threw him back down to his bed and stood back up. Then he bent back down and grabbed Bear himself.

These sorts of things happen all the time. He will not allow us to carry him upstairs anymore. He wants to walk to his bed by himself and turn his own fan on. He wants to get dressed by himself and buckle himself into his car seat (along with opening his own door and crawling into the car by himself). This is good in many ways, but it can be frustrating, too, as he is not capable of doing all of these things yet.

Elijah and Sammy are TOTALLY opposite in this way. Elijah has no problem whatsoever asking us to do everything for him. Sammy wants NO help. Ever.

(Happy waterpark boy!)

So tonight, Dan and I tricked Sammy a bit. We have learned that if we give him choices and make him feel like he is making decisions completely on his own that he is much more cooperative. He has fought taking baths like crazy his whole life. Tonight Dan said (after Sammy kicked and screamed about having to take a bath for 10+ minutes), "Sammy, you can either let Mama take your clothes off or Daddy will do it." Sam sucked his thumb for 30 seconds and then said, "MOMMY!" So he allowed me to remove his clothes. Step one! Then he said, "Sammy to bath!" Dan and I looked at each other like, WHAAAA?!?!?!?!?

I brought him to the bath and put him in and he was fine! Totally fine. No tears, no resistance. He played with Elijah for a few minutes and then by himself for 10 more. He loved it!

After bath, he was sitting on the couch wrapped in a towel like a cute little monkey and Dan said, "Sammy, if you have to go potty you can do that all by yourself!" So Sammy hopped off the couch and said, "OK! I go potty!" ?!?!?!? Again, we threw one another confused glances. Sammy went into the bathroom and shut the door. "I do it all by 'self!" So we gave him his privacy for a few minutes. Dan went to check on him and he said, "No! Sammy do it!" Ok ok!

He did it! He went potty on his own! At two and a half years old! This is foreign to us. Neither of us knew what to do or think. When he was finished, we danced and sang and gave high-fives and gave him a chocolate treat. Elijah said, "WAIT. What about me?" "Well Sammy went potty on his own!" So guess who else ran to go potty on his own.. :)

Then before bed (20 minutes later), Sammy asked to go potty again. YAYYY!

The little boys and I leave for North Carolina early in the morning. Please pray for good behavior and sanity in the airport and on the airplane! Also for continued potty success for BOTH boys.

Side note.. Elijah was borderline croupy through the night last night and through the day today. We held it off with steroids, and he even stayed home from school today. We are praying for an uneventful night and a vacation filled with total health!

Thanks for checking in! (so much for my quick post..)

Strife

I'll be honest. I am nearing the point of insanity in regards to Elijah's behavior. He can be so tough! These days he is mostly tough. I would say there is little to no harmony between the two of us right now. It's a really tough time. I am frazzled beyond words. I am frustrated to the point of having turned into a mom that I really don't like at all. Yelling, threatening, acting like a completely crazed lunatic most of the time..

So it is fairly timely that I will need to be away from home for three days this week, beginning tomorrow. I will be starting a part-time seasonal job that is about an hour away from our home. I will be staying with my sister Monday through Wednesday from now until the end of October. I am feeling torn about this new adventure, but in the end it will be a good thing for our family. I think it is a very good thing that Elijah and I will have a few days away from each other this week. I put him to bed early tonight for reasons I will not get into, and things were far from good and happy. That makes me very sad.

School seems to be going great for Elijah. I got a call from his teacher, and she said that he is doing well. He is being respectful, he is interacting with his peers appropriately and he is participating in class appropriately. While I am extremely happy about this, I can't help but be a little bit confused about his extreme behavior at home. We will be attending his IEP meeting this Wednesday, so I am sure we will hear more about school then.

I will end with a few more boy funnies, even though I'm not feeling particularly happy this evening..

Instead of "suitcase," Sammy says, "soup-case."
He also likes to ask if he can have a "bite" of water.
The tattoo on his arm is almost gone, so every time he sees it he tells me "Uh-oh! Tattoo is breaking!"
And instead of "notebook," he says, "nope-book."

A few more of Elijah's sayings that I have posted on FB recently:

"Mom, you are the baby dinosaur in my time machine."
"You are the egg in my egg carton."
"You are the lamp in my architecture."
"You are the paintbrush on my paper."
"You are the tea in my cup."
"You are the guy in my taxi car."
"You are the fork in my forklift."
And the one that made us both laugh the hardest..
"You are the drum in my army band."

Driving in the car the other day with Elijah, we had a peaceful couple of minutes (i.e., the constant stream of jabbering was on pause). 
E broke the silence by saying, "MOM!"
"Yes?"
"What is your PROBLEM today?!"
I didn't stop laughing the entire rest of the drive home.

"You are fluffy-haired monster mommy." (describes me pretty well, I think)
"You are the man in my curtain."
"You are the princess on my cake."
"You are the umbrella on my beach." 
"You are the keyboard on my computer."
"You are the sheep in my barn."
And of course this had to come out eventually..
"You are the booger in my nose."

Sammy got a haircut!

The following is further proof that I have the best husband in the world..

Early this morning, as I was preparing for a day with the little boys, Dan hugged me and said, "You are going to go take a nap and then work for a few hours and after that you and I will be having a lunch date." !!! What a perfect and totally unexpected surprise!

The skydiving plane was in for routine maintenance today, so Dan had a random day free! Weee! I accomplished tasks in the morning (a very good thing) and then Dan and I brought the boys to daycare for a few hours. We went out for lunch and after that we sat and stared at a peaceful lake for over an hour. It was awesome.

The weather was beautiful this evening, so we spent some time outside as a family. I got my camera out because I wanted to take pictures of Sammy's new haircut!

Elijah's hair was photo-worthy, too!

Elijah's second day of kindergarten seemed to go well. He provides us with very selective information, so we are assuming he is treating his peers and teachers properly. Please, God.

The first thing he has told me both days has been about "John," the little boy who talks too much and doesn't listen during circle time. I had the thought today that "John" could be Elijah's alter-ego. Only I, the mother of Elijah Daniel Porta, would have this thought. I am praying that John is real. :)

E is LOVING the bus and everything surrounding the topic of school. This boy thrives in the school setting. We are so happy for this!

Depending on the skydiving plane, Dan may or may not have another day at home with us tomorrow. That is both a great and a bad thing. Money vs. family time!

E had a great potty day, which we are very thankful for. We are hoping this continues for the next 40,000 days.

That's all I have tonight! Thanks for checking in, friends. Enjoy the rest of the handsome-boy pics...

A DZ weekend and KINDERGARTEN!

We had a very busy and tiring (but GOOD!) long weekend. We spent two nights at the dropzone in our cozy trailer and hanging out with Daddy and our wonderful skydiving family. The boys played hard, and Dan worked hard.

Skydiving is obviously the main purpose of the dropzone, but there is so much more to it than that. It is a place of peace and passion for Dan and me. After dark, we chat with friends and have bonfires and talk about skydiving. We love this little piece of our lives! I even learned to shoot a gun last weekend! Fun!

The boys play so hard when we are at the dz. They are fortunate to have some really good pals there, whose parents we happen to love. Sammy and Myla are just a few months apart and have a cute little bond. Sam asks about Myla ALL THE TIME. "Where's MYLA?!" :)

The twins are just the sweetest little things. The boys are so sweet with them, and Dan and I adore their parents.

This past weekend we even got a visit from my cousin Trevor and his kids! Here is the beautiful Veda, posing very cutely with Elijah. Is this not the cutest photo ever?!

We got home from the dz yesterday and we were all totally beat.

We woke up today ready to start kindergarten! It seems impossible that Elijah is old enough to be a kindergartener! It was a strange day, both happy and sad.

(Can you tell Sammy put his own shoes on?)

Today was a big day for all of us! We are happy and proud that Elijah has come so far. Three years ago he wasn't talking or walking, and today he is reading, writing and out-scheming his parents.

Since Elijah is still on an IEP, he is still considered "special education." I am grateful for this for many reasons, one of them being that he gets to ride a special little bus that comes directly to the end of our driveway. I had been worrying about him riding the "big" bus. I think he is just too small! Dan and I are both very happy and grateful to have this special bus service. It is a huge relief!

Elijah happily got on the little yellow bus with no problem this morning. I am constantly amazed at his ability to be ready for the next adventure. Once he was in his seat I was fighting back MAJOR tears. I could see him through his window, and I waved to him. I held up my hand and did the "I love you" sign, and he did it back to me. That is when the tears started to flow. I love my big, brave boy!

Thanks to this special bus of his (there is even an aide on board to help buckle him in and look after the kids), this aspect of school was a non-issue for me today. We have been putting him on a little bus since he was 3, so thankfully I got that worrying out of the way long ago.

I have tried hard not to focus on the fact that we had potty issues today.  

Here is the information I was able to gather from Elijah about his first day:

His very special friend from preschool, Laura (Woe-yuh), is in his class! YAY! But...when I asked him if he talked to her, he said, "No. But she is so cute!" Uh oh.

He told me that "John was really loud during circle time. The teacher had to tell him to be quiet. He did not stop talking." Then he told me that he was good during circle time. :)

He got to go outside for recess and he swung on the swings and played with his new friends, Sam and Kayla (or Cara, I couldn't tell which).

He said that his teachers were really nice and that they told him they loved his shirt. :)

(I think Sammy felt a bit in the shadows this morning...)

Elijah has not been saying the nicest things to me lately. My least favorite being "I want a new mommy," which makes my heart hurt so very badly. Of course I know that he is five years old and doesn't know what he is saying and how much it hurts. But it does sting!

He pretty much made up for all of that today. After he got home, he started spouting off the nicest things he could ever say to me. 

"Mama, you are my bestest friend!"

"I love you the entire world!"

"I love you very, very much!"

Those things are good for a mama's heart. 

He didn't seem overly tired after school today, which surprised me. I guess compared to a few days at the dropzone, kindergarten is nothing! He seemed to thoroughly enjoy his day, and he is ready to do it again tomorrow.

We had potty struggles today (thankfully not at school), but I want to point out the positive points of this! Once he goes potty in his pants, his only remaining privileges for the rest of the day are reading and practicing his writing. So we have noticed (after multiple days of losing privileges) that his writing is getting really good! Reading, too.

Dan was home today, so I was able to take a GIANT nap. Despite that, I feel a bit emotionally drained. This transition into kindergarten is an emotional one! It is a big step for our boy, and all of us. Here we go, Kindergarten!!

Thank you for checking in! Wishing you all a wonderful week!