At almost two years old, Elijah is unable to communicate to others much of what he is feeling. More than anything, this just really confuses me. There are so many things that we have seen or heard him do (signs, words, actions, sounds), some of these things very long ago, that he just hasn't done consistently. Or ever again. Example: We have seen him do the sign for MORE, appropriately, on more than one occasion over the past year. If I did the sign in front of him right now and asked him to do it, he would push my hands apart so I would stop making the sign, and he certainly wouldn't do it himself.
I am starting to think that a big reason for his lack of progress in expressing himself is stubbornness. He has had constant physical/speech/occupational therapy for most of his life. People, including us, are constantly asking him to do this, do that, make this sound.. Maybe he is saying, "No thank you, I'll do it when I'm ready!" Could it be? It would be one thing if we knew he wasn't retaining information, but that is definitely not the case. Through pointing, he shows us that he has very good retention.
Sometimes his therapists (and other people, too) treat him as if his comprehension isn't nearly as good as it is. I think they assume that because he doesn't express himself with speech, that must mean he doesn't comprehend. The other day his speech therapist asked him to show her where the clock was and he whipped around and pointed up at the clock on the wall. She said, "Wow! Did you see that?" Me: "Uhhhhhh, he knows what a pterodactyl is, not so impressed with the clock.." His speech therapist works so hard with him on things that I have heard him say or seen him do long ago. He cooperates very little with her. I sometimes think speech therapy is harming more than hurting right now, but pulling him out seems so wrong when he is so delayed in this area.
All in his own time, is what I keep reminding myself. This is the kid who has fought bearing weight on his legs for his whole life, just because. I used to think he refused to do things because he was a leisurely fella, but I'm starting to think it has always had more to do with his strong will and letting us know that he'll do things when he is ready.
I am not super fretful, worrying that he will never communicate with us. I know he will. We're just in a frustrating stage right now and after the third tantrum of the day I want my baby to communicate!
** Based on the posts I've made recently, you would think we have a monster living in our home who does nothing but beat us with broomsticks. I have been writing about the negative behavior because it is new to us and we are learning how to deal with the new phase. If you spent a day with us in our home, you would see that it isn't all screaming and tear-filled. The majority of our time is very enjoyable. Elijah is a loving, sweet, tender-hearted little boy, and I don't just say that because I'm his mama. He's the best.
5 comments:
you know...that strong-willedness that he has...that's exactly what the orthopedic surgeon told us about Isaac. He said, he doesn't stand because he doesn't want to. You can brace him, put him in special walkers...but, until HE wants to...he's not going to do it.
SO...I'm sure that's exactly what Mr. Elijah is up to. I think they feel it's their right to "control" something...and you know...they're right.
Elijah is so stinking smart. He's just choosing to keep it all to himself at this moment.
don't beat yourself up about it.
This isn't the only thing these little stinkers are going to do to us. (it starts again when they hit 13...the silent treatment!) urrgh!
smoochy moochy on him for us!!!
First I would never believe Elijah to be a monster....just too cute. 2nd, this is all normal behavior. It just makes it harder when you have a CHD diagnosis attached to it! It feels like there is so much more to worry about. You already know he is a very bright boy. He definitely will do things when HE is ready AND feels like it. Little Alex took forever to talk. To the point where I was starting to worry. Well when he did start talking it was in sentences! And he never, never, never stops talking! Don't worry he will come around.
Oh how I know that if Evan had to deal with these issues that he would be the EXACT same way. At one point we talked to his cardio about this and he smiled and took us to his office and said, "this is NOT uncommon for heart kids... they HAVE to have or develop this strongwilledness (is that a word?)to survive." Wow... okay but what do you do in the grocery during a tantrum - tell everyone around that he has to be like this? I think that might be why I cry and laugh because yes... he should not be doing this but... I'm just so thankful he is here to do it. Makes it difficult. Its hard for me to find the line of making him mind and not breaking his little (big) strong willed spirit. We need to meet and have coffee, LOL.
I agree with evryone else. As Kathy said, he's entitled to some control. Maybe its because things were so mixed up in the earlier stages, that this is his way of gaining that control!
Vaeh was 2 before she started walking, & was so 'stubborn' that she didn't crawl until after that! You just watch, he's all of a sudden going to take off & do everything within a week or two!
Sending big hugs!!
Oh I hear ya! The struggles of a toddler are horrendous some days! See my post today!
Post a Comment