Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Doing what is best.

My frustration regarding our situation with Elijah and his being waaaaaay overwhelmed as a result of full days at school has turned into a bit of anger. Not with anyone, but with the situation. I am beginning to feel MAD that it is SO DIFFICULT to help our struggling child get what we know he needs.

Despite his teachers truly trying to help, we feel grossly misunderstood and underestimated. Elijah hit two different classmates today, and to be honest I wasn't surprised when I got the call. I knew something like this was coming and I told his teacher two weeks ago that if we didn't address the root issue things were only going to escalate. Because Elijah showed his teachers that he knew what he had done today was wrong, they believe that his actions are "behavior-related." We don't disagree! We agree that he is manipulating his teachers and displaying purposeful negative behaviors, but he wouldn't be doing any of these things if he wasn't well beyond his boiling point!

This is so hard and sad. :( Especially after last year, we REALLY want to have a trusting, good relationship with Elijah's teachers. At this point we do not feel supported in our decision to keep Elijah out of school, but ultimately....Elijah is our priority! Elijah's situation/history is complicated, but we know our boy VERY well. I've been saying this for weeks, but I'll say it again. If we want him to succeed/thrive/feel good/treat people kindly, he needs to return to baseline and then his days at school need to be shortened. So we have made the decision to pull him out of school indefinitely (however long it takes to get him back below his boiling point). In the meantime, we will do what we can to get him approved for shortened school days.

That's all I've got for now.


christine said...

You did the right thing. You know what he needs. We made a very difficult decision last year to take Bjorn out of the regular school and send him to a brand new Project Based Charter School that was just opening up. He was there for it's first year which was a bit of a bumpy road. But he really liked it and found a whole new group of friends. Where as he was a bit of an outsider at the original school. He gained a ton of self confidence and is doing PSEA this year (community college as part of 11th grade) . Something wonderful will work out for Elijah too. Maybe you need to open your own school like they did in the show PARENTHOOD - ... I can see you doing that! Good Luck, do not fear the change - just go with it!

Anonymous said...

Hi Megan,

I really hate that it came to this for you guys but like you said, you have to do what is best for Elijah! I hope that he gets back down to baseline quickly and that he will be able to handle half days at school so much better! Praying for you all!

Maggie J.

Anonymous said...

How is Elijah doing since he is taking a break from school? I hope he is feeling much better!

Maggie J.