Do you ever have those moments when the world stops around you and everything seems perfectly aligned and peaceful? Then you try to store everything you are smelling, feeling, seeing and touching away in your mind so that you can come back to that moment later? I've had a few of them in my life, and I often take myself back to those moments for peace when I need it. They are pretty rare (at least for me) and I think that's what makes them so special and memorable. I experienced one of these rare moments this week during our flight back to Minneapolis.
We were in the airplane, the plane was dark and quiet, Dan had his eyes closed in the seat next to me and Elijah was sprawled out in my lap, contentedly playing with a plastic cup, turning it over and over in his hands, examining it from every angle and chewing on it with his new teeth. I reached down and ran the backs of my fingers along his velvety soft, chubby neck, as I often do, and then I leaned over and kissed him in the same spot and smelled his perfect, sweet baby scent. I ran my fingers through his curls and hugged him tightly in my arms as he babbled to the plastic cup.
It was the perfect moment. With my husband resting in the seat next to me, my baby, this sweet and amazing little person, was sitting in my lap, content and relaxed, allowing me to touch and smell and snuggle him as much as I wanted. For as long as I live, I will know the smell and softness of his skin and the sweet sound of his voice and the peaceful feeling I had inside of me as if it were that exact moment. It will stay with me forever.
Too often I find myself getting caught up in wanting the next stage to get here. I am constantly wishing for Elijah to be able to crawl, walk and talk. By doing that, I'm wishing away this precious stage he is in right now. During my moment on the plane, I genuinely appreciated Elijah for who he was at that exact second in time. I think it's somewhat natural to look forward to the next step and to be curious about what is to come, but it felt so nice to truly live in the moment and to be sincerely enjoying exactly what that moment was worth.
Elijah, if you read this some day, I hope you are still letting me snuggle and hug you. If not, please know how much it means that I will at least always have the memory of it. I love you!
6 comments:
So true. I believe I wished so much of Evan's 1st year away awaiting for surgery, which I thought would be the end of my fears. Thanks for sharing.
oh....Megan...I love you too...
that's sooo sweet...
you should write a book....such an eloquent writer!
you made me teary eyed...
What a beautiful memory to hold on to. It is so true that we often forget to hold on to the now and worry about the later, later. I am also teary eyed from this one.
Hugs,
Samantha
Megan...I am so glad you are able to cherish that awesome memory...so many times the doctor appointments and hospital stays seem overwhelming and all consuming...Yeah for the everyday miracles of just having 2 amazing guys in your life. Thanks for sharing!
What a beautiful post. I felt like I was right there with you. It's funny you posted about this. I was just letting Robert about the few moments that I have saved in my memory that are so vived. When Arianna was 4 months old I was finally able to take her to the park. We weren't allowed to take her out during RSV season and she was born with DiGeorge Syndrome so along with her heart defect is was really serious to keep her at home. But at 4 months the trip to the park was the first time we went anywhere besides the doctors appointments. I can remember that day so perfectly with the sounds, smells, and touch of my baby girl. Thank you for sharing your moment with us!
You are a wonderful writer! I do cherish those moments too, and hope that I remember them forever!
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