Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Heavy heart

I have a heavy mama heart. :( I'm sad. I'm sad that the world is such an overwhelming place for Elijah. He had a rough day at school today. It was rough at home, too. He looked totally and completely exhausted tonight. He could not control himself and did a lot of screaming and talking back. He is struggling. After talking to his teacher on the phone, I laid in my bed for a bit and thought about what to do. What I know needs to be done is not what the school wants. So what do we do? Do we do what is best for Elijah or do we follow the rules?

What is best for Elijah: He needs a solid week off of school to get back to baseline. When he returns to school, his days need to be shortened.

The rules: Put band-aids on the situation for four weeks and re-evaluate a COMPLETELY exhausted and overwhelmed boy.

I don't blame anyone and I'm not upset with the school. I get their point of view and I appreciate that they want Elijah to be in school as much as possible. His team truly does want to understand and help and I think it's just a matter of getting them to believe that Dan and I know what needs to be done.

I'm feeling a bit helpless and confused tonight. I'm considering pulling him out of school until he feels better, but then would the school not trust us?

To be continued!

8 comments:

Dogstars said...

I KNOW this is a very hard decision. But, it seems clear that he can not handle an entire school day every day of the week. You KNOW this. So, the school needs to flex. Or you need to home school. Or find something else. It will only get worse as Elijah gets more and more overwhelmed. A "break" during the school day is not the same as being "done" with the school day. He would not be home, not be with you, and not able to relax. He would KNOW that he has to go back to "class" in however many minutes. That's not a true break for him. Good luck, Megan. This is quite the puzzle you have to put together.....

The Portas said...

Thank you, Dogstars! I appreciate your input so much! The main thing that keeps us from home-schooling is the social piece. He needs that social interaction so much, but when he is past boiling point it sure isn't helpful. We are really hoping the school will bend the rules a bit for him SOON. If not, drastic measures will need to be taken in order to protect our boy. Thanks for the comment!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Megan,

I read your post and the comments above.. What about hospital homebound program? He may qualify for that but I am not sure. I don't know about your state but I know in Georgia they have an online school that is through the state.. Here it is called the k-12 online school. I know you mentioned the social factor, what if you got him involved in social activites like karate or something through the church, boy scouts? I know a local therapy place where I lived had a program where it provided social skills strategies for children with autism in a small group setting. I am not sure if I being helpful or not. I will say an extra prayer for you all!!

Maggie J.

Anonymous said...

Oops, I forgot to add. I would honestly let Elijah have a day off from school tomorrow and the two of you just rest all day. As for the school, I would "lay down the rules" and let them know that if Elijah doesn't get half days for a while, then you will be pulling him out and homeschooling him. Sometimes you have to be "mama bear" and tell the school you know what is best for your child!

Maggie J.

Erin said...

Have you considered homeschooling. We looked into several options this year and MN has two great online public school options. The MN K-12 and Connections Academy. I was most impressed with Connections Academy. All the work is done at home and you are their learning coach. They have a teacher and all of the materials are sent to you. Since it is online public school you still can have an IEP and receive services through your local school district if necessary. The hourly commitment is far less than an average school day and can be flexible with days and hours you do the work.

Erin said...

For the social piece I forgot to mention that there typically are monthly field trips you can choose to attend and they can put you in touch with other families in the area attending and typically there are local homeschool groups you could join.

Unknown said...

Do you have any 45/15 schools in your area? Our boys have this schedule.... on 9 weeks (45 days), off for 3 weeks (15 days). I honestly feel that this is such a great schedule for kids. You can always tell when the guys are on week 8, as they are just ready for a big break from school. Not sure this is an option for you...

Anonymous said...

Our sleep specialist wrote a letter that my son had to start school at 10 am rather than 7:30am. The school had no choice but to follow it as part of his special ed. You should speak with the doctor and ask for something like that. Elijah's attendance at 5 short days; perhaps with home tutors would be a great compromise for rest and socialization and schoolwork