I know I'm emotionally drained because I have no patience. Today was a challenging day. The boys pushed me to the brink and I didn't deal with it well. It was one of those days. And now I sit here feeling guilty for raising my voice too much and not being patient enough. Thankfully tomorrow is a new day.
One of the many things that just about pushed me over the edge today revolved around Elijah's potty issues. We had made so much progress with his last potty chart. He accomplished all of his "goals" on the chart and then vacation began, which brought much regression. Now he never uses the toilet without being asked (which is always a battle), and he has been pooping and peeing in his pants multiple times every day. I am so very frustrated.
After two (of four) accidents today and after a few other unrelated battles, I decided E needed a nap. I sent him upstairs to lie down in my bed while I cooled down. I came upstairs a little while later to take a nap with him. Thinking he was asleep, I cried a few little tears of frustration. Elijah rolled over and started gently rubbing my hair. "Mommy! Don't be sad! Be happy!" I explained to him that mommies have very big jobs and sometimes they get sad and frustrated. He continued to rub my hair (so sweet), and then said, "You are brownie-fresh and totally wild!" I have no idea how he comes up with these things! That made us both laugh for a long time. We took a little nap, arms tightly wrapped around each other (as always...he would never have it any other way).
Once we woke up from our nap, the frustration immediately began again. I felt myself growing even more impatient and frustrated than before the nap! A few nights ago we could hear another family's conversation through our baby monitor. Today I had the thought that if another family could have heard our house today through our baby monitor they would think we were a terribly unhappy family! :( I hate that. I love our family and the vibe between us 99% of the time!
Another mild frustration today was Elijah's ear issues. He has been on two rounds of antibiotics for a double ear infection in the past couple weeks and today he was complaining of ear discomfort again. :(
We are gearing up for school in a few weeks! Next Wednesday is E's open house for kindergarten. Elijah is very excited to start school, and honestly I think it will be so great for him in so many ways. At the same time, though, MY BABY BOY IS STARTING KINDERGARTEN! Major tears will be shed that day. :(
I can't write a post without mentioning Sammy! He is as independent as ever. Since vacation, he is back to refusing baths. He will not allow us to help him with ANYTHING. When I read him a book, I cannot touch the book. He has to turn the pages himself and if I even gesture like I'm going to touch it he has to start over. I cannot help him get into his chair at the table. If I try, he screams at the top of his lungs and throws an absolute fit. He is a very particular little boy!
Our boys are in very unique, challenging and different stages right now. I am praying for a little bit of peace for all of us! I do realize that we are blessed, and that our troubles could be MUCH MUCH worse. I adore my boys, all of them, more than I could ever explain in words. Thank you, God, for them! I am a blessed mama and wife. Please forgive me for not being more patient.
Tomorrow is a new day!